Is this your parenting/disciplining style?

raizy

Thu, Apr 14 2005, 8:57 pm

first of all we are living in 2005 and we have to adjust to that. second the kids now days know way much more then we did as kids. also alot of thinks that didnt fly when we kids were growing up is a matter of fact (battle) with our kids.
yes I heard from a well written article that we have to pick our battles. I am a strong believer that we have to pick the battles that are the most important. the little stuff that u will not care in 20 yrs that stuff u should not fight over. like my son he doesnt like to wear a jacket now that the weather is warmer. so if it is a soso day I let him wear a sweater instead.

and some ill advised friend told me ."that we yidden dont go bye the goyise baby books. throw them all away"

believe me that mother didnt know what she was talking about.... maybe yidden know more how to feed a child then a baby doctor. huh.

all I know is u take the good from the bad. u take the good information from the books and u leave the bad behind...

deedee

Thu, Apr 14 2005, 9:24 pm

my parents were brought up in the 60's & 70's. they were raised in strict houses. I was brought up the same way. when the parent says s/t u run to do it.
now I am bringing up my daughter the same way. when I say no to her I mean no. when she does s/t she is not supposed to I say no if she does it again I say mommy said NO if she continues to do it I remove her from the room and put her in another room. she then starts to cry and I tell her mommy said no!

Quote:

I was parented with strong, defined boundaries. This is how we brought up our children, as well. They are therefore well-adjusted, and wholesome, bli ayin hara. My children always knew what to expect in our home, and that my husband and I loved them. If one of us said something, we kept to our word. I meant what I said, and my children knew it.

this is what I strive for! I really admire her for "sticking ot her guns". she really is doing the best for her kids in the long run!

deedee

Thu, Apr 14 2005, 9:30 pm

the best advice I ever got from someone was not to say, OK when u tell a child to do s/t...
go get ready for bed,ok? give the child a direct command! they do not have to OK what u told them to do! if u want to make sure they undersand-ask them, do u understand?
it is so hard to do cause u are just used to automatically saying it. I have to work hard to catch my self from saying it.

stem

Thu, Apr 14 2005, 10:01 pm

I also heard that advice about not saying OK after every sentence. It's really hard to remember, but I try to catch myself, and use "do you understand?" often.
THere are times that I do say "OK?" because in certain situations I want my daughter to feel like she is making a good choice, but I probably shouldn't because you never know when she might say "no" and that's when the trouble begins! Rolling Eyes