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At what point do you say enough is enough?



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amother


 

Post Tue, Jan 20 2015, 8:04 am
Saw this posted elsewhere and thought it was an interesting discussion particularly because I'm in the same boat. When do you say no to more work that costs you time with your family? Talking about a case where you already have enough money to pay the bills and while the extra money will be nice and useful (towards buying a house, savings, etc) it is not completely needed right now. Not taking on the extra work also wont jeopardize your job. Is there a dollar cutoff? At what point do you say no to more work to be with your child(ren)?

There is another point mentioned there that I want to say from the get go. I understand that lots of people love to be in this situation and be able to just pay the bills let alone have some extra! Keep in mind lots of people are desperate for kids too!
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justcallmeima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jan 20 2015, 10:21 am
For me it's not about a dollar amount. It has more to do with my stress level. If I can technically manage to work more hours but I will be too tired/stressed out to have patience with my kids when they come home, then that's where I have to draw the line. It's a very delicate balance which I think is different for every individual woman. How will it impact my mental health? The ol' "ain't Mama happy ain't noooooobody happy" is very true. If I am overstressed by work, it affects my ability to be completely present for my children and my husband. That is far more important to me than any dollar amount!!
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amother


 

Post Tue, Jan 20 2015, 11:08 am
It is very nice to say no to extra work but what if you need the money there are no choices. I have kids in modern orthodox yeshiva. Yes I get a break it's still $25000. My kids go to sleep away camp, not an option for them to stay home, no kids are home I work & no family local. I'd love to work less but realistically being orthodox is expensive, especially when you don't get any help. So to say you won't sacrifice your time with your kids that's not a fair statement. My kids see two hard working parents, who don't qualify and would never want to qualify for subsidized programs. Don't mean to insult anyone but I think you need to think a bit before you post things. To me it's like asking should I work to put food on table or not. ( and to answer you no fancy vacations for us, my husband & I rarely go out, we get pizza twice a month for dinner).
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amother


 

Post Thu, Jan 22 2015, 10:51 pm
First of all there is nothing wrong with your question. Everyone's financial and family situation is different, and even the most financially desperate have a limit where the available work exceeds their time/energy level. Finding the balance is something we all struggle with.

I work a full time job and also do freelance work from home. (The freelance work used to be my only occupation but it brought in too little on its own, so I went to school for a profession. I thought I'd phase out the freelance stuff once I got a full time job, but I've actually only gotten busier since I started working full time in my profession.)

But anyway.

My decision to accept freelance work depends on a lot of factors.

For my "regulars," I try to be available as much as possible because they bring in steady work. It's important to keep them happy. For a one-off situation where it's unlikely someone will bring me more work in the future, it's easier to say no.

If I sense that the person will be very demanding and nudgy and calling a million times or wanting me to keep redoing it, I will most likely say no.

I have more freedom to choose to work on projects that really interest me and that I'm committed to, instead of just doing whatever came my way as long as I was getting paid.

Also, I feel that if I've already worked a full day, the freelance work shoudl bring in at least 50% above my regular pay rate to justify working extra hours in the evening and weekends. So if my regular pay is $50/hour, I'd want at least $75/hour for freelance.

I try to set limits on hours I work. So if I get home at 6, the hours from 6-9 are for my kids and I don't touch work until then. Sundays I tend to be busy but in the summer I take the time off to go places with my kids. If the work will spill into that time with my kids I don't take it.

I do sometimes get by with less sleep but then it's not fair to my employer if I'm not fully awake and functional at work. So if the only way I can complete a freelance project is by staying up until 2 a.m., it might be very tempting to take it and just push myself through but that wouldn't be the right thing.

I'm lukcy that my husband is a SAHD and takes care of the house and kids so I can focus on my work and freelance stuff too. It's not that I ignore my kids, I do bath and bedtime almost every night and clean the house Friday afternoon, but he does just about everything else.
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