The Sacrifice of Tamar by Naomi Ragen

mimivan

Thu, Apr 12 2007, 12:51 am

Chocolate Moose: Didn't I warn you to stop reading her!!! LOL

(referring to a Naomi Regan post when I mentioned she's very gifted but very anti haredi)

Never mind, I"m not your mother...to be honest, I'm tempted to read her myself, but your negative reviews of her book save me a lot of time and money!!!

JRKmommy

Wed, Apr 25 2007, 3:48 pm

I thought it was better than Jephte's Daughter. It was one of my favorite books.

I wouldn't say it's anti-charedi, period. The Kovnitzer Rebbe saves the day with the grandson's bris, for example, and there is also strong admiration for her dh, who is staunchly dedicated to following halacha. He stands solidly behind Aaron even when he discovers the truth. Don't forget - the ultimate conclusion was that halacha is a system based on kindness, and if Tamar had asked a shaila, she would have received a favorable response.

The criticism is largely aimed at certain attitudes which may exist in some Charedi circles, but have no basis in halacha - things like hiding problems, for example. At the same time, there was a degree of sympathy for the circumstances, esp. with Holocaust survivors, that may cause people to hide problems. Shortly before I read the book, I learned that a woman who had been like a grandmother to me had hidden from me the fact that she had a developmentally handicapped daughter, so this aspect of the book rang true for me.

To be brutally honest about the "dirty laundry" issue - I've seen far more of it on this site, even those boards which are accessible to the public, than I got from her books. Talk about attitudes toward finances, extreme shidduch fears, past discussion of the "S" word, etc.

healthymama

Wed, Apr 25 2007, 8:32 pm

Quote:

I think her criticism (throughout all her books) is aimed at the supposed phenomenon of women not knowing enough about the halachic system to avoid needless suffering.

This website has not shown you that this is at least somewhat accurate ?