Punishment for cutting DD's hair practically bald

imaima

Tue, May 12 2015, 4:05 pm

amother wrote:

My 5 yr old and 3yr old are big enough to pick themselves up and walk. So it wouldnt really matter where I was napping. Our apt is quite small. I can technically hear anything that's going on.

Oak amother, I like the art supplies idea. I'll think about that one. He really likes projects. Whenever we go into the dollar store, he picks one-hole punchers and glue sticks so that he can have his own collection.

But I have this feeling that DD needs a punishment to learn to not be that dumb. She just started getting her own hairclips and bows. I told her that bc she told DS to do this, she might not have hair to put in any bows until she's 5. She looked pretty shocked at that one. She also has a good memory and remembers how traumatic her 2yr old haircut was...

oh well...we will look back at this one day and laugh

YOu sound really big on punishments. How about you let go? Having ugly hair is enough of a punishment for her. Your son also probably realized by now that it is a bad idea.

PAMOM

Tue, May 12 2015, 4:10 pm

Look OP, first you need to make sure that whatever you do does NOT present an "oh, what a terrible thing to look like that" attitude to dd. You run a big risk of making her feel self-conscious and ugly. You're the one who's worried about hiw she looks. Don't dump your attitude on her. Also, she's 3. That's not old enough to be responsible for her desires.
I don't know anyone this hasnt happened to in some form. Put the scissors away for now. Don't make an issue of it. Then when he asks to use them for the next project or two, quietly tell him that the scissors are off limits right now and that he knows why ( or quietly remind him). I know they seem grown at 5 when you have number 2, but he really is still a baby who you can't expect to resist a lot of temptation when alone. That doesn't mean you don't talk to him privately (where dd can't hear) and explain that scissors are for use in paper. Di not tell him how funny his sister looks. She'll find out.

Sanguine

Tue, May 12 2015, 4:19 pm

amother wrote:

I see everyone's going to town with my story. Sanguine, you've been the most soothing of all. I feel much calmer now and ready to move on.

Since everyone was wondering, the mother's helper cancelled because she had LICE, ironically.

Now does this make the story even more interesting?!?

Thanks. Maybe it's cause I'm a calm person in general. Or maybe cause my kids are big, though my 16 yo son (then) surprised me when he shaved his head for a Purim costume. His group won 2nd prize. I said I'd love to see what the 1st prize winners did.

Tell your mother's helper that she can come tomorrow. You don't mind the lice. Then watch her expression when she walks in the door and sees your daughter. LOL

Shopmiami49

Tue, May 12 2015, 4:22 pm

Sanguine wrote:

or better yet...tell her that DS can help out with her situation LOL

Butterfly

Tue, May 12 2015, 5:06 pm

Hugs OP

I sincerely commiserate with you.
IMO you didn't do wrong by taking your desperately needed and well deserved short nap.
You surely did the responsible thing by providing them with a fun and busy activity to be occupied with.

This could have happened just as well while you were up and about and whether you were busy preparing for a coffee in the kitchen or throwing in a load in the washing machine.
Kids do these stuff chik chok. In less than two minutes they create the oddest hairdo's. Twisted Evil

I truly believe that almost every family has at least one 'kid self-cutting hair' story to tell.

I remember my little sister cutting off her entire bangs including about an inch of hair from her forehead because she decided she might look prettier without bangs.
My grand-daughter did the same but it wasn't as bad as my sisters... She mistakenly left a few wisps here and there on her forehead. My daughter was ecstatic...

Same daughter once got a call from her son's kindergarten teacher apologizing to her that one of the kids cut off one payoh of her son while they were engrossed in some arts and crafts activity where she was actually supervising the kids. DD's sons usually wear their payohs quite long... below chin length.
One can't always be quick enough even while supervised...

Quite a few of my little grand-kids have experienced all different kinds of kiddie to kiddie or self made haircuts. It's more common than you know.
Not amusing to the moms at all!

Finally, last but not least, please don't punish your children harshly if at all.
Had your 5 year old DS only cut a small piece from the sides which would have been barely noticeable you wouldn't have been that upset and wouldn't have made such a big deal about a punishment if at all... so please don't punish him according to the outcome of the haircut.
Disallowing him to use the scissors for a while might be an appropriate lesson for him.

And about your DD; She's only three. She's a baby! Got jealous from all the attention the 3 year olds were getting this past lag baomer.
She'll probably get snarky comments from neighbors and friends (hopefully not) which is punishment in itself. Please don't cause her more trauma.

OP snap some pictures of your DD. Save those for a 'show and tell' activity down the road (perhaps during Chanuka party in ten years from now) Whoa, you'll be glad it happened!!

PS. You might want to enhance her looks for now by getting her some cute head bands with the huge bows on top.

Enjoy your nachas!

Scrabble123

Wed, May 13 2015, 12:53 pm

amother wrote:

punishment to learn to not be that dumb.

I have absolutely no comment on this comment other than for the op to try to evaluate what caused her to write such a remark. Yes, we make mistakes. You can validate your frustration - your frustration with your children, with the haircut, with yourself, with your babysitter, with the women here, etc. etc. You can validate your anger, your fear, your sense of loss, or whatever it is you are feeling, but you must figure out how to make sure next time you feel that way you do not make comments like the one I quoted. They are hurtful, they are not productive, and they lack an understanding of what it is you are trying to convey.

Sanguine

Thu, May 14 2015, 3:37 am

By now they know it was wrong but so many kids do it that it's not outrageous. You probably never actually warned them that we don't cut hair. I'm sure you've told them that we don't play with matches but if he's allowed to use scissors who's to say that cutting hair is wrong? I even gave myself a haircut when I was 18 (year in Israel). It didn't seem so hard to do. Didn't come out too good Sad

. But it was fixable Very Happy

. Did your kids really know that we don't cut hair with our scissors? I'm sure they do now. Buy your 3 yo a big headband with a bow so she can look cute anyway and just tell her that she'll have to wait for her hair to grow in for her other new ribbons and barrettes. That way she sees the consequence of cutting her own hair. Put the scissors away but DS can have them for projects when he asks and tells you why he needs them. Then you can say - OK, that's what scissors are for but return them when you're done. A few times and he'll remember that cutting hair is a no-no. That's it. They'll remember till the next good-idea.

Did the mother's helper come back to get a lice haircut too? When she sees your daughter tell her - We had to cut her hair like that to get rid of the lice. It's the only way. Do you want one too?