Spinoff of Monsey thread

amother

Brunette

Thu, Jun 04 2015, 11:34 pm

Scrabble123 wrote:

I guess you were trying to do a satire, but in case someone misses that the answer is: NO.

Actually, it wasn't a satire. embarrassed

I was nervous that was going to be people's reactions. Is it really that bad? We live on a quiet street and she really does KNOW not to go into the street. I've drilled it into her.

wereafamily

Thu, Jun 04 2015, 11:41 pm

amother wrote:

Actually, it wasn't a satire. embarrassed

I was nervous that was going to be people's reactions. Is it really that bad? We live on a quiet street and she really does KNOW not to go into the street. I've drilled it into her.

Some trust, just to get your laundry done!!

MagentaYenta

Thu, Jun 04 2015, 11:45 pm

amother wrote:

So, I don't live in Monsey, but I was wondering...

Is it ok to let a 3 year old play outside in the front yard alone if she knows not to go into the street and the door is open with me right there?

Seriously, you trust an unsupervised 3 year old? Heck you should trust her to balance your checkbook too.

Scrabble123

Thu, Jun 04 2015, 11:47 pm

Well, I don't know how a 3 year old can be trusted to never run into the street. What if she saw a cute little chickie? Not to mention all of the child predators out in the world. I don't even think that 8 year olds should be allowed to play alone outside!

morah

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 6:27 am

Even a three year old who KNOWS cannot be trusted to always follow rules that they know. They "know" until the day they're feeling a little rebellious, the day their ball rolls into the street, the day they see their friend right across the street etc.

HindaRochel

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 7:05 am

Standards change. When my mother was young a 3 year old could be trusted not to run into the street. It was normal for children to play outside (and I'm not talking about the country). It would no longer be advisable to do so in the USA.
Somewhere else you have to see.

gp2.0

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 8:24 am

Unless you have a gate that she can't open, no.

I allowed my daughter to play outside in our gated backyard, with me watching from inside the house, since she was 2. At age 3 she started begging me to play out on the sidewalk with all the other kids but I didn't feel comfortable with it.

Now at age 5, after discussing it with my neighbors and DH, and keeping in mind our very specific neighborhood layout as well as my daughter's personality, I let her play outside while I'm inside BUT a) she has to tell me exactly where she'll be playing, like, in front of whose house, and she has to come tell me if she's going somewhere else b) she can only play outside if there are at least three other kids, preferably older than she is, playing outside too, and if they go in she has to come in too c) I go peek out and check on her like literally every 5 minutes. d) if she needs something from the street she has to come call me, or if she wants to cross I will cross her

I would have preferred to wait until she was 6 or 7, but if she's at home she just wants to watch videos. Playing outside is so much healthier for her that I did a risk assessment and decided it was OK.

gp2.0

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 8:26 am

HindaRochel wrote:

Why? What changed?

morah

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 8:47 am

gp2.0 wrote:

Why? What changed?

Two thing have changed. Less community (more dual working parents, no more "village" mentality). There was a time when you could let your kid out because you knew other parents were around and everyone looked out for everyone's kids. This is still true in many parts of Israel , so the acceptable age is lower, and that's perfectly reasonable.
The other thing that's changed is traffic. There are way more cars on the road and most neighborhoods have not redesigned their roads accordingly, so there is a lot more traffic danger than there used to be.

Chayalle

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 9:17 am

Let me share this: When my DD was five, and she KNEW never to go into the road, she went to play at a neighbor's house. This neighbor decided that sending the two of them out together was safe. She did not ask me.

So the two of them, both 5, went out, and together they decided to try running across the street. Yes, they both KNEW it was wrong. I found out about it from another neighbor, who saw the car that short-stopped inches away from them thru her window, and heard the honking and yelling they got, and called me to let me know.

HindaRochel

Fri, Jun 05 2015, 9:58 am

morah wrote:

Both of these.
There were more other mother/grandparent patrols then; sitting at the window who'd scream at the kid "I'm telling your mother on you!" which would normally lead to a spanking for the told on child.

My mother was born in the 20's. Much less traffic.

That's why I also say it is dependent where you live. Unless you are living in an ultra-small town then you have more traffic less community "sticking their nose where it didn't belong"

When I first moved here to Israel there was very little traffic on our roads, now, while nowhere near the traffic I grew up with, there is much more.

sky

Sat, Jun 06 2015, 11:51 pm

HindaRochel wrote:

- I don't see why a 3 year old being trusted to not run into the street would change over time. I have a 3 year old and live on a very busy street and she will NOT run into the street. (not that she plays there unsupervised but she runs ahead of me).
- I live in a very community type neighborhood. Everyone knows each other on the block and within a few blocks. We recognize each others kids. We always look out for each other and our kids. I think this is common on many blocks in Jewish communities.
- Is it really more dangerous? (From the Washington Post) Since 1993, the number of children younger than 14 who are murdered is down by 36 percent. Among children ages 14 to 17, murders are down 60 percent. Fewer than 1 percent of missing children are abducted by strangers or even slight acquaintances, according to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.

I have a backyard with a 6 ft gate with child proof locks that my 3 year old cannot open. I would not let her play outside alone at that age. I feel like too much can happen (hitting head, falling). I would let her play outside with a 6 year old in that setting. (with the door open and with ear shot)