Do you send married siblings invitations

amother

Orchid

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 10:15 am

I was referring to the gowns for the wedding and not for the Vort. Somebody asked if we have anything to do with them in the past ten years.

saw50st8

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 10:21 am

I would just call and say "Hey I didn't get the invitation. Did you send one in the mail? I just wanted to make sure that other people's invitations haven't gotten lost!"

Sanguine

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 10:39 am

amother wrote:

Obviously there is more to this story. I can't imagine any situation where asking sibling for an invitation is a potentially explosive request.

Here's the "more story" (it always comes out when the OP makes no sense)

amother-OP wrote:

I was by the Vort and told what color dress my kids and I should wear and pay for.

amother-OP wrote:

The Chosson and Kallah are acting as if the world was just created for them during this engagement period. So no one else has feeling at this time.

OP has her reasons for being angry. Really, nothing to do with invitation

Notsobusy

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 11:15 am

Sanguine wrote:

OP has her reasons for being angry. Really, nothing to do with invitation

It still doesn't make that much sense. These days it's very normal to be told what color gown to where to your sibling's wedding, it's almost expected already. It's also normal for the chosson and kallah to only care about themselves. Why is it such a big deal to just ask about the invitation? If you don't want to make a big deal about it, then just nonchalantly stick it into a conversation.

Chayalle

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 12:10 pm

Yes I was sent an invitation to my sister's wedding, even though she was living in my house. My kids were very tempted to spoof and respond that sorry, we will be out of town, or something like that....(just to tease).

But OP, things like this happen all the time, no need to get ruffled. I still haven't gotten an invitation to my niece's wedding, which took place quite a while ago.....I just called her parents and told them we were crashing (she was wondering why we hadn't sent response cards) and verified the time and place. Would've loved to actually see the invitation, but it's okay. Simchas are a busy, happy time and things can get forgotten or overlooked....I'm glad it wasn't something more than just my piece of paper.

amother

Orchid

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 12:49 pm

I am nervous if I ask anything they might respond I am so sensitive about it blah blah and it will start some sort of argument. But I think I will say "I heard the invite was georgeous do you mind showing it to us."

Miri7

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 12:56 pm

Just ask for an invite to save. I think my sister gave me an invite by hand when I told her to be sure to send one for me because I want to have one as a keepsake.

If you ask for one as a keepsake she will probably be touched and not see the request in a bad light.

mfb

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 1:27 pm

You do know that invitations get lost in the mail all the time. I recently had a wedding of a relative ( not so close), but I knew I was invited. Even though I didn't receive an invite I was planning on going, but then 3 days before the wedding I received it, and it was postmarked by the post office about 2-3 weeks earlier.
Such things happen all the time!!!

wiki

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 2:30 pm

Just mention to them, "Hey--I never saw the invitation, but of course we know that you're expecting us at the wedding! Could you send us by email or postage the times/address, just so that we don't get mixed up? Thanks so much! And how's gown shopping going?"

You are obviously resentful of other things, but there's no reason to insert any of that emotion into the matter of the invitation. You're invited. They would LOVE for your whole family to be there looking cute. You might as well put on a smile. They'll come down from cloud nine soon.

amother

Maroon

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 3:13 pm

I can understand op, I think. A nephew got engaged and we were not told about it. A week later someone ( friend of the boy's father) wished Dh mazel tov and he had no idea why. This person had to tell dh that our nephew got engaged. ( sadly, this behavior stems from dh's mother constantly excluding us, so it filters down to his siblings)
If we didn't get an invite, then I personally would see it as a continuation of the initial insult.
Perhaps op has a similar situation.
But I did like the idea to mention you'd like it as a keepsake, or perhaps to use it for their gift( framed , mounted, or somrting similar)

Frumdoc

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 3:17 pm

I have usually picked one up at the baal simcha's home when I visit, so my mom's if it is my sibling's chasuna, out of convenience, a reminder of timings and as a keepsake.

Mailing would be a waste of a stamp if you live nearby. But if you're not so intimately involved in details I would expect one to be sent somehow, even hand deliverec. Unless there was a printing disaster and they have had to limit them to more distant guestd, in which case an email or postit note with the details will work just as well.

Another mom

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 5:03 pm

It's the parents who send, right?? I like to send siblings invitatios (only made 2 so far...) so they can have it as a souvenier. The couple puts a lot into the design. But just ask-- I'm sure yr invited

cbsp

Tue, Aug 04 2015, 7:24 pm

Were you married the last time they made a simchah? Did you move? People really just recycle the list they used the last time and sometimes overlook that things may have changed...

justforfun87

Wed, Aug 05 2015, 12:22 am

Like others have said, clearly the relationship has some bumps. You should be asking your sibling for a paper invite not imamother. I only have one sister but wouldn't send an invite. In fact, my cousins from out of town just emailed me one because they were sure I was coming. No biggie.