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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Off the derech



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Seraph




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 5:01 am
This question has three parts.

If someone, r'l, had a kid who was off the derech:

A) How do you suggest the parents deal with this kid? With lots of love and acceptance? Cheirem? Pressurising the kid to be frum again? Kicking the kid out of the house? Letting the kid be? Or what?
B) If this kid has made it clear to his/her parents that this isn't just a teenage rebellion thing, but rather a concious choice to lead this way of life- how would you deal with that emotionally? How would you deal with this kid who conciously decides to reject your way of life you tried to inculcate since birth?
C) How does one go about explaining to the other kids that big brother/sister is off the derech? What would you do if the kid starts asking why Joe doesn't have to keep shabbos, but he does? Or why can ___ hang out with guys but I can't?


For all those of you with kids off the derech, I really feel for you. It must be one of the hardest things to go through ever. I am very curious to know how such parents cope and run the family after something like this happens.

I had a very close friend growing up who now is completely non frum at least for the past 4 years, and doing things most of you would never even dream of. I used to be very close with her family, but have been out of touch with them because I moved away, and I was always curious how they dealt with the pain, and all the chinuch issues that come up with it...
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Gela




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 5:07 am
This has been studied and researched and documented in a book that recently came out by the same title: Off The Derech
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Gela




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 5:08 am
here is the link:

http://www.amazon.com/Off-Dere.....r=1-1
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Seraph




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 5:40 am
And if I don't have time for, or am not interested in buying and reading a book on this topic, would you care to share what the book actually says?
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amother


 

Post Wed, May 09 2007, 7:07 pm
go back to the above link and scoll down. there is a review and after that there are comments from readers.
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