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How do u budget the little luxuries for yourself



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amother
Brunette


 

Post Wed, Nov 04 2015, 8:20 pm
Currently we are extremely tight- think food stamps and Medicaid. We are in the red almost every month but iyh we will hopefully get out of it. In the meantime I feel like I am loosing my mind. I have not "indulged" myself in the past couple of years. No restaurants or manicures or any other "luxuries" that I took for granted in my single years. I feel like I deserve something! I am wondering what I am allowed- even though we can't afford it. How do other Pple in this situation do it? How much do u allow yourself to spend on a luxury for yourself?
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Jeanette




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Nov 04 2015, 10:02 pm
Even when we were financially in dire straits we always went out to a restaurant at least once a year. I felt it was a worthwhile investment in our sholom bayis. We didn't necessarily go to the most expensive place, maybe $50-75 total.

I am a firm believer that especially when $$ is tight you need to find little ways to take care of yourself and maintain your sanity.

You need to figure out how to get the biggest bang for your buck. Think of the ONE thing that would really give you the most pleasure, something you will look back on fondly. Maybe a new sheitel is out of your league but you can spring for a new accessory. A trip to Israel is out of the question but can you rent a car for a day trip? A manicure every week might be excessive but can you do it once a year for a special occasion? Set a budget for your splurge, something within reason, and enjoy!! Just like you figure out how to pay for toilet paper and diapers you need to figure out ways to nurture yourself as well.

Of course there are ways to pamper yourself without spending money at all. A hot bath, soothing music, a library book, a cup of hot cocoa... But even if your splurge will cost a bit extra, it's something necessary for your mental health. just do it. Don't second guess yourself.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 3:58 am
thank you so much jeanette for your chizuk can someone else help here? I desperately need chizuk, as I am feeling so scared to do it. I feel that there are so many expenses I cant forsee and then I am left the last one on the list. and I resent it at times. I sometimes just tell dh to give me whatever he has and I try to do what I can with it. its not easy. sometimes I figure it out and sometimes I dont. it can affect my performance as a mother if I dont do something for myself. so I come on imamother. but it helps to look at the bright side of things. and realize there are others with less. or I just take a long long walk to some grocery. and exercize helps sometimes. anyone else? need to be anonymous as its too painful to me.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 4:00 am
just want to add, that there are times that are easier and times that are harder. so I think to myself that may this pass very soon
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lfab




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 5:51 am
The splurges on yourself don't have to be costly. Even $2-$3 dollars can buy you little luxuries. For example, at the grocery store buy yourself a small treat - a chocolate bar or cookie that you really like but only costs a few dollars. Or if you would like a manicure but can't afford it buy yourself a nice scented lotion or soap or a new nail polish and do you nails at home (easily can be under $5). Or treat yourself to a coffee. Or buy your favorite magazine or a small inexpensive bouquet of flowers for shabbos. If you do something small for yourself once every 2-3 weeks and spend $2-$5 dollars each time you will still spend less than $10 a month on things for yourself. In the long run $10 a month will not make or break you budget but it can make or break you attitude and keep you from getting burned out.
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sourstix




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 8:10 am
I find going for a walk and a long one in the nice weather that energizes me. sometimes just taking a nap helps me. sometimes getting a hug from dh helps me. and sometimes just cleaning the house helps. so it depends. I dont find a chocolate bar doing much. I like to eat it but doesnt give me a boost of good mood anymore. it used to.
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Jeanette




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 8:21 am
amother wrote:
thank you so much jeanette for your chizuk can someone else help here? I desperately need chizuk, as I am feeling so scared to do it. I feel that there are so many expenses I cant forsee and then I am left the last one on the list. and I resent it at times. I sometimes just tell dh to give me whatever he has and I try to do what I can with it. its not easy. sometimes I figure it out and sometimes I dont. it can affect my performance as a mother if I dont do something for myself. so I come on imamother. but it helps to look at the bright side of things. and realize there are others with less. or I just take a long long walk to some grocery. and exercize helps sometimes. anyone else? need to be anonymous as its too painful to me.


I think your issue here is more anxiety than about whether you can actually afford something or not. There's the worry, that "if I spend money on this, then there won't be money for that." I get it. That anxiety will always be there when funds are limited. All I'm saying is to let go of the guilt for taking care of yourself. Set aside whatever you are able to set aside--whether it's $5, $10, or $50, and choose what you want to spend it on. Don't think about all the other things you could really use that $5 for. This is a legitimate need no less than all other household expenses. I'm not saying to go wild and buy designer clothes and trips to Florida. But a small splurge here and there can give you much more than your money's worth in sense of self-respect and well-being. Again, choose carefully and only spend your precious "splurge" money on something that really WILL give you pleasure. Don't go for the $5 cup of coffee if you're not crazy about coffee anyway.
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 8:22 am
getting my eyebrows done 6$, a chocolate bar. a nice cup of tea at night. small luxuries. that don't break the bank. I do surveys online for spare change etc. so I can splurge without spending my own money.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 8:29 am
You can buy pretty statement necklaces on ebay for $1-3. Free shipping.

You can get a treat at the grocery store for similar pricing.

Have DH give you a massage? If you do it naked and follow with intimacy he might actually enjoy it.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 8:30 am
Get grandparents to babysit on a Sunday so I can take a midday nap, hot bath, read a book...
Costs nothing but I feel so recharged!
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Jeanette




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 8:32 am
I want to add that this works well with kids too... little indulgences here and there to make them feel loved and cared for. A walk down the street and 50 cents for the little "egg" vending machines can bring them as much happiness as spending hundreds on a trip to the amusement park. One of our family favorite chol hamoed trips is to the toy store with a budget of $5 each. Sure beats the chol hamoed entertainment around here that cost $20 per child or more...
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Nov 05 2015, 8:55 am
When money was tighter I felt super guilty for buying coffee before work so I bought good beans and yummy creamer and I make myself coffee at my desk and it feels like a treat and I feel virtuous for not going to starbucks.
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