Whatsapp | Imamother

amother

Plum

Wed, Dec 23 2015, 9:57 pm

I have whats app because of my family. we all live far apart and when its night by them its afternoon by me and I can't really talk to them then on the phone.

for my dh whats app is the same bad as unfiltered internet. he is a sx addict and he gets a lot of bad stuff on whats app.

as said in previous posts groups can be dangerous and even regular chat can be bad if you are not strong enough!!

DrMom

Thu, Dec 24 2015, 6:34 am

IME, whatsapp is ubiquitous in Israel. Every kitah in elementary school and gan and every extracurricular activity now has a whatapp group for the parents so they can be aware of any schedule changes or special activities. I think it is useful, as long as participants use it for the intended purpose and not for posting irrelevant info.

I belong to a few groups like this whose members tend to go off on irrelevant tangents. I put those groups on silent (or I leave the group).

It's also useful for mobilizing and informing a specific group of people for a specific activity (a chessed project, a night out with the gals, planning a party, etc.).

I have never had anyone post inappropriate photos on any whatsapp group to which I belong. I guess I don't hang out with the right crowds.

amother

Copper

Thu, Dec 24 2015, 5:12 pm

I was in a group with my very frum cousins girls only. I had a love/hate relationship. Big thing is all the LH that was instantly sent pictures and comments for 20 +people. Of course there were good clips etc. But the bad far outweighed the good. So after the last LH episode I deleted myself from that group...

etky

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 1:52 am

As Dr. Mom said, Whatsapp is ubiquitious in Israel. An article on Ynet yesterday estimated that something like 90% of Israeli youth with smartphones bt. the ages of 15-19 use it.
I've had a smartphone for only a year but Whatsapp has become indispensable to me. The groups that I belong to reflect all areas of my life.
There hasn't been even a hint of anything improper in any of it, ever. It's just a technology that enhances communication and most importantly facilitates group discussions and often makes decision making more efficient.
I suppose it has other less wholesome uses like the ones referred to here but it's perfectly possible to be on Whatsapp and never encounter them. It all depends on the people with whom you are in touch.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 2:44 am

seeker wrote:

This thread has been pretty educational, I'd been wondering what the story was with Whatsapp.
Can someone clarify why people who are already using facebook and have facebook groups and chats also use Whatsapp as well? I can see how there are some differences but it still seems redundant to me.

They are used for different things.
For example, I have a family whatsapp group. Not everyone is on facebook 24 / 7 but everyone has their phone almost all of the time and if one just wants to ask a question.
Or my daughter's teacher made a group last year to send out homework notices or different things for a tiyul. She isnt going to make a facebook group.
Or I am in a group from my sem friends (from 20 years ago Smile

) not everyone is sitting by their computer all day looking at face book. Its nice to just have messages on your phone. Its just different.

amother

Blush

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 2:46 am

Whatsapp is what you make it.

Dh is part of a group that every day sends dozens of pics of his Rav and other events in our chassidis as well as divrei Torah. No one would ask my dh if he wants to join such a group. In fact, telling him that they're part of such a group would be embarrassing and would subject them to a huge mussar shmooze.

If you're not interested in being a part of a group that sends inappropriate messages, you won't be part of it. It's a lot harder to find these groups than it is to leave. And you have to find them, they don't find you because it's too risky to just sign up anyone. It's not like they're broadcasted on billboards. You actually have to know someone in the group and have them invite you, meaning that you come in knowing what the content will be. If your dh is part of an inappropriate group, it's bec his friends assumed he would enjoy such a thing. It also shows something about who he chooses as friends....

seeker

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 2:48 am

first of all, facebook has phone apps too that do send notifications whenever you get a message and other occasions if you choose.
Secondly, so it seems the main advantage is getting notifications all day? Confused

In that case I can see why people make a case against it. Having phones all day is enough of a challenge in this era. If I need an urgent answer I will just call the needed party. I don't need another thing to ping me all day.

Heyaaa

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 2:49 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

) not everyone is sitting by their computer all day looking at face book. Its nice to just have messages on your phone. Its just different.

Also not everyone even has Facebook. Not everyone has a smartphone either but more ppl have smartphones than have Facebook.

etky

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 3:37 am

Heyaaa wrote:

Also not everyone even has Facebook. Not everyone has a smartphone either but more ppl have smartphones than have Facebook.

Right. I'm on FB nominally, but I don't use it for social purposes - only for the feed.
And Whatsapp is so much more instantly connective and then everyone in the group can see the message too.
I agree that it can be very disruptive and distracting. That is why I make major use of the mute button. Without it I wouldn't agree to be on any groups whatsoever.

Tablepoetry

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 3:57 am

Facebook and whatsapp are used for totally different purposes.

Most people don't join a million facebook groups, but just have their big group of friends. Then they post things on the wall for all to see. Some people post personal stuff (pics of kids, etc), some post political musings, some post inspirational quotes. Your stuff appears on my news feed if you are my friend; if it annoys me, I can make it disappear.

Most of the stuff on facebook isn't of technical, practical, daily use. Most people also don't group off that much; so I can see pretty much everything that any of my 'friends' posts. I like facebook so I can see what old friends are up to, what they are thinking, doing, etc.

Whatsapp is a lot more practical for daily stuff. My gym class isn't going to open up a facebook group; we don't really care about each others' personal goings on; we just need a tachlis group to see which class is cancelled. Same with the parents in my kids' class. Also, I am in whatsapp contact with my boss, with the secretary, etc. I don't need them to see my personal facebook page, we are really not on that level of closeness.

Of course some whatsapp groups ARE for your nearest and dearest, but there also, the vibe is different from facebook. My dh's family has a whatsapp group, the kids post things like their latest cartwheel, or the grandfather posts an inside joke. It's a lot more immediate than facebook.

Also, format is everything. If I want to send my sister a picture of the pancakes my dds just made, it takes two seconds to send and even less for her to see it. The whole thing is a lot clumsier with facebook (via the message).

BTW, in Israel at least, much of the younger generation is no longer on facebook at all, having abandoned it in favor of whatsapp, instagram, snapchat.

Tablepoetry

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 3:59 am

etky wrote:

I agree that it can be very disruptive and distracting. That is why I make major use of the mute button. Without it I wouldn't agree to be on any groups whatsoever.

I have all my whatsapp messages on mute. Otherwise my phone would be ringing all day. My dd's bnei akiva madrichim will send out 30 messages in one day, stating when the activity will be, changing their minds, stating where it will be, changing their minds about that, and then postponing the whole thing to tomorrow.
I guess I can't blame them, they are teens, but I don't spend all my day reading their messages.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 4:14 am

seeker wrote:

OK, I guess I am the exception to the rule. I have no apps on my smart phone. Not my emaiil not my face book. And with my whatsapp groups, nobody is sending messages every day all day. I get a message here and there. ANd if there is a group where the messages are flying all day, I mute the group. it is that simple.
So, no, teh advantage is not getting messages all day. I just think a phone is easier than a computer. For me.

etky

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 4:15 am

Tablepoetry wrote:

B'H I have narrowly escaped what you describe.
My kids are all a bit older (the youngest is in 9th grade) so I've been spared the Bnei Akiva parents group. I understand from my friends who have younger kids that it is the biggest 'offender' in that respect. I'm so grateful that Whatsapp wasn't really around when my kids were younger Smile

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 6:27 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

OK, I guess I am the exception to the rule. I have no apps on my smart phone.

How do you have whatsapp without an app?

Most very frum people that I know dont have FB. FB is not a healthy place to hang out on. You can get all sort of unwanted stuff on your feed from friends friends.
For me FB is my public life and I act appropriately. Whatsapp is my personal life. I only am in groups with people I know personally.
I have family all over the world on different time zones. This keeps us connected. Out of my husband 11 sisters/sisters in laws- 3 have FB. 10 have whatsapp. The one on a kosher phone/ no internet at home misses out on pictures and jokes. Yes, she'll get a phone call eventually to hear who had a baby and find out someone is moving- but not for another 12 hours after everyone else. When everyone is chipping in for a present and giving ideas- she doesn't have a say. Its a instant world these days.

I could live just fine without FB (and I'm on it every day) but whatsapp has changed my life and made organizing things soooo much easier.

amother

Lawngreen

Fri, Dec 25 2015, 8:12 am

amother wrote:

Very nice.

Point is, for those of us who have seen how easy it is to use it for negative purposes, we prefer to stay away altogether.

Obviously if the husband has such a family or such friends there are issues. My husband has been working on his, but his family is giving him a hard time. They keep putting him back on the group and posting garbage. There's no way to block a group. All you can do is block the person who started that group and then he won't be able to add you. But he wasn't ready to take a drastic step like that, which showed me that he still has a long way to go. I would very much prefer if he got rid of whatsapp altogether.