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Coworkers allegations
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sweetpotato




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 22 2016, 1:35 pm
amother wrote:
My work place is a mess but I don't think it's because I once tugged on her hair to get her attention when we were laughing and joking.

TBH the s-xual talk at work is out of hand. After coming back from getting married in place of congratulations EVERYONE was asking how he is in bed and commenting on very specific details (no, I didn't answer). My supervisor talked to me about personal massagers talking about which is the best (completely unsolicited...she was teasing me about my intimate life) and a couple of people routinely bring up how they are going to get my man. It's all done in a joking way and while I was shocked about the respones after my wedding and I'm repulsed when they talk about going after my man I never felt threatened. I'd also never think of complaining to someones supervisor just because I was mad about something unrelated.

I'm actually grateful I got the wake up call to be more careful in this regard. I still resent her and want to clear my name but the truth is when I started I was NOT comfortable with these talks and now I'm just used to it being an every day occurence and have no issue participating. It's not who I am or want to be and it will remind me to never cross that line again. I'm not grateful that I have to continue working with this allegation against me.

And anyone know my legal rights? I know they have to take her complaints seriously but there has to be something to do to protect me aginst false accusations as well. She went back through a year of history of us being coworkers on good terms and getting a long and joking a lot because of a one time thing. Those things never bothered her and they didn't happen the way she portrayed it. Not even close. The "hair pulling" incident happened a good 8 months ago. If she was that bothered she would have brought it up then. She didn't and it hasnt happened since so....


OP, sounds like you should talk to an employment lawyer about how best to proceed. Your workplace sounds horrible and it sounds like you are putting yourself at major risk by continuing to work there.
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perquacky




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 22 2016, 1:38 pm
Even if you don't know whom to speak with in HR, call the general number and speak with someone. Anyone. You need to get your side on record, since her statement may have already been passed to HR. In fact, I'm surprised HR didn't contact you about this issue. Your boss should not be the one handling it. And if HR is not aware of the problem, then you should air all of your grievances. Before someone else beats you to it. That's a big part of what HR departments are supposed to handle.
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perquacky




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Jul 22 2016, 1:40 pm
sweetpotato wrote:
OP, sounds like you should talk to an employment lawyer about how best to proceed. Your workplace sounds horrible and it sounds like you are putting yourself at major risk by continuing to work there.


Contact HR first. Do not go to a lawyer until you have done this. I'm pretty certain the company will be very angry with you if you take this issue "outside." See if it can be worked out from within before you hire someone to help you.
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Fri, Jul 22 2016, 3:10 pm
perquacky wrote:
Contact HR first. Do not go to a lawyer until you have done this. I'm pretty certain the company will be very angry with you if you take this issue "outside." See if it can be worked out from within before you hire someone to help you.

Too late. Tbh I'm happy Im doing it this way. They never have to know I contacted a lawyer and I'll know my legal rights/standing.

At this point im.unsure if he put it on official file with the company or is keeping it on his personal file. I don't want them to have this kind of info on me if they don't already.
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jul 23 2016, 2:00 pm
amother wrote:
Just a piece of cultural competency - if this coworker is black then there is definitely extra sensitivity about hair touching. So be careful not to do that again, regardless of race, its not professional. I feel bad for you, and think you definitely need to make a meeting, document your side of the story.

Perhaps you can bring up these former incidents (the inappropriate and off-color comments following your wedding, the comments about genital hygiene, etc.) as examples of the need for cultural sensitivity training for the entire company.

If you have approximate dates for these incidents, write them down and document them.

Point out to your boss that you have been deeply offended and uncomfortable in the workplace as a result of these inappropriate comments for quite some time, but you tried to keep a stiff upper lip because you felt that this was simply the expected atmosphere you must endure at this particular workplace.

Put your boss on the defensive and ask him if this is the expected workplace environment at your place of employment.
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