Woman making her own havdalah motzei shabbos?

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amother

Brown

Sat, Aug 13 2016, 11:59 pm

This is a two fold question. First of all, is this an old wives tale, or where did I hear that a woman should not drink wine from havdalah or she will grow a beard? True or false?

Part two of my question would be as follows:

I got a heter from a rav that I can eat/drink on Tisha B'Av if I feel sick, but I would first have to make havdalah before eating or drinking.

If so, what should I make havdalah on, if not wine. Is iced tea ok or power-ade?

amother

Mustard

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 12:03 am

The growing a beard warning is the same type of warning as if you eat a watermelon seed, a tree will grow in your stomach, or if you swallow gum, it won't be digested for seven years.

According to aish.com - by Rabbi Elozor Barclay and Rabbi Yitzchok Jaeger :

According to most opinions, beer is the most preferred drink.
If this is not possible, some opinions prefer the use of a drink that has national importance. (A rabbi should be consulted to ascertain which drinks qualify for this purpose.) Other opinions question the use of such drinks, and prefer the use of grape juice.
If nothing else is available, wine may be used.

Carmen Luna

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 12:47 am

Women aren't permitted to make havdala for themselves unlike kiddush, due the safok if women are required to hear havdala or not. What you should do is have your dh make havdala before you want to eat and you should drink it. Grape juice is allowed and definitely preferable to Powerade

amother

Mustard

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 12:48 am

Carmen Luna wrote:

Women aren't permitted to make havdala for themselves unlike kiddush, due the safok if women are required to hear havdala or not.

Maybe that's what your LOR holds, but that is definitely not an across the board opinion. I was told I can by a chareidi rav.

amother

Coffee

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 1:04 am

Carmen Luna wrote:

I think you need to specify that this is what your rav holds. I have heard that it's preferable for a man to make it if he's around, and I've also known some women who won't do בורא מאורי האש if they make it for only women, but I personally don't know any woman who straight up don't hear havdalah if there's no available man to make it. I've always been raised that you're not supposed to eat before havdalah, and of course if there's no man around to make it, you make it yourself.

Additionally, the OP already said that her rav told her she has to make havdalah for herself, so obviously some women are allowed to. How could her DH make a bracha on the grape juice if he's not going to drink it?

amother

Cobalt

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 1:10 am

My yeshivish rav said I can drink grape juice.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 1:48 am

My chasidish rav told dh that I don't have to make havdule. I can just break my fast and I just did (in 9th month).

Marion

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 8:06 am

For ALL havdalahs (not just 9 Av), you can use anything that's more important than water ("cheimar medina"). This is the halacha. It is PREFERABLE to use wine or grape juice (hence the default bracha is borei pri hagafen) but you meet the halachic requirement with just about anything. For a specific 9 Av queston AYLOR because there are different shitot.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 8:09 am

Carmen Luna wrote:

Women aren't permitted to make havdala for themselves unlike kiddush, due the safok if women are required to hear havdala or not.

who ever said women are not required to hear havdala?
And secondly, what if there is no man around to make havdala?

amother

Olive

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 8:17 am

amother wrote:

This is a two fold question. First of all, is this an old wives tale, or where did I hear that a woman should not drink wine from havdalah or she will grow a beard? True or false?

Can confirm. Performed case study on myself by sneaking havdala grape juice as a teen. Now grow black hairs on the sides of my face, chin and neck. Also on chest.

Take heed of the bearded lady. It's 100% true, as proven in a single case study.

Fabulous

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 1:56 pm

Last year when I was pregnant, I was told to make Havdala on grape juice before breaking my fast, whenever that would be

amother

Mustard

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 2:06 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

who ever said women are not required to hear havdala?
And secondly, what if there is no man around to make havdala?

I seem to recall some chassidish women saying this. We were at an all women's shabbaton and their rav paskened they should rather skip havdalah than make it themselves.

That being said, it definitely is not a mainstream opinion and should not be presented as such.

happy mommy6

Sun, Aug 14 2016, 2:13 pm

I was told to make havdala on soda....not grape juice.

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