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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2016, 10:37 am
I don't want to do anything. But I want a clean house. I get overwhelmed and then do nothing for hours and hours. I know I should have washed laundry last night but instead I watched stuff on line. It was interesting. But I just wanted to escape all this hard work. Now how do u overcome such a hard battle. Don't tell me u just do it. I need to have energy to do it. I can't just sit there while dh helps me and I feel like a little kid who can't manage on my own. I get so much help from him yet I feel so small. Like I don't do enough. I just feel so embarrassed. Now I can't handle criticism I just need guidance to get out of this rut. Ahhh I feel somewhat better.
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shaindy3




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2016, 10:41 am
I have the same exact problem OP. I wish I had answers for you. The only difference withe me is that my DH helps alot but then gets upset that he'said doing most of the work. I'll definitely be watching for other people's answers!
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2016, 11:18 am
amother wrote:
I don't want to do anything. But I want a clean house. I get overwhelmed and then do nothing for hours and hours. I know I should have washed laundry last night but instead I watched stuff on line. It was interesting. But I just wanted to escape all this hard work. Now how do u overcome such a hard battle. Don't tell me u just do it. I need to have energy to do it. I can't just sit there while dh helps me and I feel like a little kid who can't manage on my own. I get so much help from him yet I feel so small. Like I don't do enough. I just feel so embarrassed. Now I can't handle criticism I just need guidance to get out of this rut. Ahhh I feel somewhat better.


find ways to make the work seem less daunting. I sort laundry while I watch interesting shows on netflix. I iron while watching too. laundry is easier with a system in place. have extra baskets to sort clean laundry into. let your kids put their laundry away if you have kids. have a dirty laundry hamper in each room. keep a lot of laundry bags to empty the hampers into. place the laundry bags near the machine whenever you empty a hamper, even if you're not going to do laundry yet. when you find a minute, throw a load in. it's easier to do laundry if it only takes a minute.

do you have a smartphone? I listen to old radio programs online while I do chores. find something you enjoy listening to and take it with you from room to room. promise yourself rewards if you get things done.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2016, 12:46 pm
Thanks for sharing your ideas. I don't know what came first the overwhelming feeling or the feeling of I just don't want to do anything.
I don't know why I have this feeling of " I don't want to do anything" is this normal? I definitely have a big house and too big for me to handle. And at this point it's just a mistake me and dh did when buying. Though it's nice but really overwhelming. I get overwhelmed easily and just give up before starting because I get so much pain physically from too much going up and down the steps. Physically I must be out of shape.
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mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2016, 12:59 pm
we just bought a big house, and after the initial few weeks, I'm finding it easier to keep clean than our previous smaller one. here's why: there's space for things to be put away. we still have two rooms that need unpacking, but everything else has been fairly easy to deal with. do you have enough storage space and bins? my kids' rooms are their responsibilities, so I don't do that part of the house. there are some shortcuts you can take to make maintenance easier for you:

1) toilet gel stamps. they'll clean your toilet with every flush. less scrubbing for you.

2) don't sweep if you can use a light vacuum instead. it'll go faster.

3) don't iron if you can hang things up to dry and they dry well. some things still need ironing, but I find this saves time.

4) use disposables if dishwashing is a problem for you.

5) concentrate on one room at a time. this will make the work go faster and save you stair time.

6) invite thirty people over for a party. your house will get clean.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Sun, Oct 02 2016, 4:53 pm
Maybe making lists might help and breaking down the work? Plan to do only so much each day, that way it's not so over whelming. Also, if your overwhelmed, can you hire cleaning help? Do you have kids? If so, have them help. What about taking laundry to a fluff n fold service?

I work full time and have a family. Plus I'm pregnant now and am exhausted almost all the time and my husband has a medical condition that often makes him tired. Things that I do to help make things less overwhelming for running a household:
- cleaning help 2 hrs a week for big chores (dusting, floors, bathroom, kitchen)
- try not to let laundry pile up and do a load every 1-2 days. When laundry does pile up and I don't have energy or time, I use a fluff n fold laundry service (usually once every 4-6 months).
- disposable dishes for breakfast & occasionally for dinner
- use dishwasher as much as possible.
- have my kid (he's age 8 now) clean up his own toys & food mess, put away his own laundry and help with minor chores around the house (I.e. Put garbage bag in trash can, take out recycling, help bring in groceries, sweeping kitchen).
- I'm constantly decluttering and getting rid of junk as soon as possible. Junk mail goes in the recycling daily. Unless needed, Kids homework and school projects go into the recycling after I have reviewed them. Same with most artwork. I keep a few pieces tapes to the wall for a few weeks or really nice artwork gets framed, but most gets recycled once done.
- same with junky kid toys. When my kid is not looking they get tossed or donated. He usually doesn't even miss them.
- also with books. I don't have space for tons of books so we utilize borrowing from the library a lot. Plus, most kids books my son gets we get free from a local book exchange or super cheap at the thrift store. As soon as my son has finished reading books and outgrows them, we donate and pass them on. I only keep (good) Jewish books and certain classics (to save for future kids).
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amother
Plum


 

Post Tue, Oct 04 2016, 3:37 pm
amother wrote:
I don't want to do anything. But I want a clean house. I get overwhelmed and then do nothing for hours and hours. I know I should have washed laundry last night but instead I watched stuff on line. It was interesting. But I just wanted to escape all this hard work. Now how do u overcome such a hard battle. Don't tell me u just do it. I need to have energy to do it. I can't just sit there while dh helps me and I feel like a little kid who can't manage on my own. I get so much help from him yet I feel so small. Like I don't do enough. I just feel so embarrassed. Now I can't handle criticism I just need guidance to get out of this rut. Ahhh I feel somewhat better.


I don't feel overwhelmed by housework but I often choose not to do it for the simple reason that housework is boring and watching stuff online isn't. The laundry will still be there and I always catch up a few days later, it's not like anything dramatically bad happens.

In terms of guidance, the only thing I can suggest is give yourself a break and not feel so bad about not getting everything done. And good for DH for helping you, I don't see what's wrong with that if he's around.

The suggestions other posters have given you personally wouldn't work for me at all because I don't like mixing business with pleasure so for example, I would never want to watch a movie while doing chores. However, maybe it would work for you. I personally don't like lists either because then I do feel overwhelmed with what I haven't done.

Question: would/can you get cleaning assistance? You say you have a big house, would it be more manageable with help? Or are you somebody who doesn't want outside help? (I don't so I understand if you don't as well.)

In terms of not being able to get up steps - is that a temporary thing (e.g. you've pulled a muscle) or a long term health issue? If the latter, perhaps you should see a doctor?
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 04 2016, 5:19 pm
Everyone has "idontwanna" days. I think it's very normal.

If it's just occasional, then let yourself take the break; you'll work better afterwards.

I'm a morning person, so I try to push harder then, and then relax in the evenings when my energy level is low.. I learned to stop feeling guilty about it.

If you're not ever able to get yourself going, though, get to a doctor and see if there is a physical or emotional problem.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Tue, Oct 04 2016, 5:26 pm
Thanks so much to all for your responses! I have a condition called plantar fasciitis. It's painful to walk in the morning. And I also have pain in my joints by my thighs so when I need to walk it's painful. My lower back gives me trouble too. Many days I wake up and my whole body aches. And I feel sick. I know I think I'm going to check this out this week. The joints and muscle thing is what needs to be checked out. So it's physically hard.

Cleaning help is out of the question that's why dh helps me a lot. My income doesn't allow for me to have it. I know I should but I am too tight and dh hates the expense and so he helps me when he can. But I rested this you to and I feel better. I do spend tons of time here I am definitely addicted and I waste al little too much time here. So I will be seeing the doctor shortly hopefully it will be good news.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 04 2016, 5:50 pm
What are you doing for the plantar fasciitis? (I have it, too).

Some things that help me:

Good slippers with thick padding underneath. Never get out of bed barefoot.

Medical inserts, prepared specifically for my feet by a doctor who does this. Not covered by insurance, but worth every penny, amortized over the years. I don't wear shoes that they don't go in.

When it's really bad, ibuprofen, brace at nights, exercises, and even cortisone shots.

Hope the doctor helps!
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bargainlover




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 04 2016, 6:13 pm
imasinger wrote:
What are you doing for the plantar fasciitis? (I have it, too).

Some things that help me:

Good slippers with thick padding underneath. Never get out of bed barefoot.

Medical inserts, prepared specifically for my feet by a doctor who does this. Not covered by insurance, but worth every penny, amortized over the years. I don't wear shoes that they don't go in.

When it's really bad, ibuprofen, brace at nights, exercises, and even cortisone shots.

Hope the doctor helps!


I have a similar issue. What brands for shoes fit the inserts?
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Tue, Oct 04 2016, 6:21 pm
You can get an rx for PT who can help get you inserts as well as treat the plantar fasciitis and teach you exercises to manage it.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 04 2016, 6:44 pm
amother wrote:
You can get an rx for PT who can help get you inserts as well as treat the plantar fasciitis and teach you exercises to manage it.


I started with a podiatrist, but either way is good.

The inserts I have are by prescription, and specially molded.

What exercises do you do?
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amother
Taupe


 

Post Tue, Oct 04 2016, 8:02 pm
amother wrote:
Thanks so much to all for your responses! I have a condition called plantar fasciitis. It's painful to walk in the morning. And I also have pain in my joints by my thighs so when I need to walk it's painful. My lower back gives me trouble too. Many days I wake up and my whole body aches. And I feel sick. I know I think I'm going to check this out this week. The joints and muscle thing is what needs to be checked out. So it's physically hard.

Cleaning help is out of the question that's why dh helps me a lot. My income doesn't allow for me to have it. I know I should but I am too tight and dh hates the expense and so he helps me when he can. But I rested this you to and I feel better. I do spend tons of time here I am definitely addicted and I waste al little too much time here. So I will be seeing the doctor shortly hopefully it will be good news.


I have very similiar issues like you.
Back, muscle, joint pain, plantar fasciitis, and a physical feeling of bodily blah, just not feeling well. I could go to sleep and wake up even more tired.
And it's a cycle.
You don't feel well, so you rest, things pile up.
Then you are so over whelmed. You don't know where to start.
DH comes in like Superman and saves the day.
And yes you are thankful, but you feel so horrible, after all your the mom.
So, I get you.

These are things that helped me. I understand that you may not be able to do these things, but this is what helps me.

1. Cleaning help once a week. I know you say you can't afford it, but if you can at least find 4 hrs. But you must make sure that the person really does everything you need. The deal I have with my lady is that I pay her for the day $95, whether it takes her 5 hrs or 10 is up to her and how fast she wants to work. In that time the house needs to be clean. Beds made, rooms organized and dusted, floors clean, bathrooms scrubed, kitchen, living room, dining room, completely cleaned scrubed/dusted. Since she comes on Friday, she sets the table for me. Everything out of place, that she doesn't know where it belongs, she either asks (if I'm home) or she leaves neatly in the room she finds it, in one area.
Some ppl prefer to have cleaning help Mondays.
The rest of the week everyone is in charge of keeping there rooms neat, making there beds, picking up toys and clothes.
The living room, kitchen, dining room, I always keep very neat.

2. Laundry. Don't let it pile up. Do it very often. My kids have uniforms for school. There uniforms go straight into the washing machine. I wash their uniforms daily. As soon as the machine stops I hang them to dry. In the am they put on what they wore the day before, clean, straight from the laundry room. This also minimizes the folding.
The same with linens. Each room has 1 set of linens, goes straight from the bed to the washer/dryer, and back to the bed. Wed. Am everyone has to strip there beds and bring it to the laundry.
Every day we do light loads,uniforms, pjs, undergarments, towels as needed, and Wednesday was big laundry day everything else plus linens.
Also, I don't buy anything that needs ironing. I have mostly DDs, and DHs shirts go to the cleaners. In our house if you need something ironed you needs to iron it yourself. Mommy does not iron!!! Before you buy something make sure it doesn't need ironing, ever.

3. My aches and pains and tiredness This was the only things that helped me. I went on a very low carb diet. It was anti inflamitory, stabilized my blood sugar, and help me lose weight. When I'm good, I follow the grey sheet food plan, it just makes me feel better. It took about 2 weeks to notice a difference. Also drink lots of water. A lot of muscle pain comes from not being properly hydrated.
Walk daily, this is a must, minimum 15 min. Preferably outside. This helped me with joint pain and stiffness, even the days I only made it to the corner and back in those 15min, because the pain was so bad.

Planter fasciitis, it feels like a knife that stabbing your foot. When you just wake up in the am it's the worse. The more you massage it the more painful it gets. The only thing that truly helped me get rid of it was 35lbs weightloss. I tried all types of insoles, nothing helped. Ice helped a little bit. Take a small water bottles and freeze it and roll your foot on it. Also wearing rubber cushioned sole shoes.

The doctors may recommend cortisone shots. Avoid this at all costs. It may make you feel better initially, but it weekends the joints further and makes you gain weight, that makes it harder to move and on the joints.

4. Make a list, daily chores, bi weekly chores, weekly chores. Then split the responsibilities with DH. This way you know you have these set of responsibilities and you won't feel guilty that DH is doing everything.

5. Don't go to sleep unless the living room, kitchen and dining room are clean, and everything that's needed for the am is ready to go. Lunches made, all back packs ready waiting in the front, shoes at the front door, clothes laid out, etc.

The more relax the AMs are the better it will be for your aches and pains.

You need to be extra organized, force yourself to do things right away, like rinse and put away that coffee cup you just used. Don't put things off, because the mess will just grow and it's worse in the long run.

I really know what it feels like, I hope these tips were helpful.
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