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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
4 year old son has processing issue...Help!



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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 9:51 am
My son's Morah told me that she noticed that my 4 & 1/2 year old son has a processing issue and is having a hard time learning certain concepts and she recommended that he get evaluated for speech therapy. He happens to speak extremely well and is very good at communication. However, he has a hard time with learning certain things. For example, he has a hard time grasping the sounds of the aleph beis. He knows the letters well but when he has to say which sound each letter makes, he gets confused and will mix up the sounds. (They only learnt through vav so far) She also told me that they were playing the game Headbandz one day in playgroup and he was having a hard time understanding how to play the game. He's also having a hard time learning how to identify the numbers 1-10. He knows a few but that's it and he told me he wants to learn to tell time on a digital clock but he can't remember which numbers are which. He also has a hard time with remembering the correct brachos to make on foods that he eats all the time and his Morah said that all these things are related to a processing issue. I don't know if I should be concerned. His Morah told me that she doesn't want him to have to struggle too much when he goes to school so if he can get the help now, it's better in the long run especially because boys have a much harder curriculum when they grow up. This Morah is not the type to be a worrier and she's been doing a playgroup for many years so the fact that she mentioned it to me makes me think that he really needs it. I feel bad for my son and hope he doesn't have a hard time in school because that can really affect a child's self esteem and I don't want him to hate school. Has anyone had this issue with a child that was so young and if so, did speech therapy help?? Any input is appreciated. I'm a bit overwhelmed now...
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 9:58 am
Nothing to be overwhelmed. This is a very common issue. My 5 year old has very similar issues. She started getting speech therapy this year. What Works for her is a lot of practice and repetition. We worked on her aleph bais to death until she picked them all up. I have to help her with her brachos too- even though she makes a lot of brachos daily. Apply for speech now because once they turn 5 it gets much harder to get approved.
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 10:00 am
Stop feeling bad for your son or yourself. Get him the help he needs and encourage him to be the best he can be. B"H there is excellent therapy and special education programs out there. With the right help he will do great. My son had similar issues but worse. Thanks to early intervention and finding great therapists and the right school he is doing great. Not quite up to his same-aged peers, but he's doing his best, doing well, and he's happy. Wipe out any negativity right away. It doesn't help anyone.
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 10:02 am
I just want to add that the game Headbands is a hard concept. Kids ages 6 and up usually figure out how it goes.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 10:08 am
mustard please try to be compassionate. that being said, you have a point. she needs to stop being negative. she needs to accept her child for what he is. he surely has some great qualities. some that will outshine learning issues he has. slow processing is a common thing. in fact my ds was diagnosed just yesterday with slow processing. and will get services. and hes 8 yrs old,. and he has adhd too. so op chazak, and strengthen yourself. see the strenghts and weekness and help his weeknesses. but put more emphasis on his strenghts. and oh btw ds has sociall issues too. to add to the mix. just telling this to you that there is a statistic out there that one out of 68 boys have some form of ds issue. and your ds has one of them.

there is so much help out there. bh its treatable. love your son for what he is.
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amother
Slategray


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 10:28 am
The earlier you address an issue, the better. If the Morah has been teaching for years, then she can probably spot an issue. Think objectively - does your son need the extra boost? Then it's worth having him evaluating and taking it from there. Depending on where you live, therapy may be free and can be done in the school/play group.

I had such an initial mental block against therapy. But my son is a completely different kid after 1 year of speech therapy and OT.
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 10:33 am
amother wrote:
My son's Morah told me that she noticed that my 4 & 1/2 year old son has a processing issue and is having a hard time learning certain concepts and she recommended that he get evaluated for speech therapy. He happens to speak extremely well and is very good at communication. However, he has a hard time with learning certain things. For example, he has a hard time grasping the sounds of the aleph beis. He knows the letters well but when he has to say which sound each letter makes, he gets confused and will mix up the sounds. (They only learnt through vav so far) She also told me that they were playing the game Headbandz one day in playgroup and he was having a hard time understanding how to play the game. He's also having a hard time learning how to identify the numbers 1-10. He knows a few but that's it and he told me he wants to learn to tell time on a digital clock but he can't remember which numbers are which. He also has a hard time with remembering the correct brachos to make on foods that he eats all the time and his Morah said that all these things are related to a processing issue. I don't know if I should be concerned. His Morah told me that she doesn't want him to have to struggle too much when he goes to school so if he can get the help now, it's better in the long run especially because boys have a much harder curriculum when they grow up. This Morah is not the type to be a worrier and she's been doing a playgroup for many years so the fact that she mentioned it to me makes me think that he really needs it. I feel bad for my son and hope he doesn't have a hard time in school because that can really affect a child's self esteem and I don't want him to hate school. Has anyone had this issue with a child that was so young and if so, did speech therapy help?? Any input is appreciated. I'm a bit overwhelmed now...

Deep breath, OP. None of the things you mentioned sounds like a problem for a 4.5 yr old. This is the problem with teaching things like letters and numbers and brachos so early: some kids catch on and good for them, but that makes teachers and parents think that the children who don't catch on have a developmental or learning problem even though they may very well be in the normal range. A 4.5 yr old is not developmentally expected to identify letter sounds, recognize all numbers, remember which bracha to say on which food or play Headbandz (recommended for ages 6+) even though some 4.5 yr olds can do some or all of those things. My 4.5 yr old can't. I'm not very impressed with this teacher, not least because she didn't just give you observable information, which is really all she is qualified to do, but also gave you a diagnosis which she is not qualified to do. Honestly, I wouldn't worry.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 10:42 am
Some of the things she mentioned sound a bit concerning, and if you're worried, always better to look into it, especially since it's harder to get services after 5. But some of the things are just huh? Not knowing which bracha to make at 4 is not exactly symptomatic of a disorder. I can hardly keep my brachos straight as an FFB adult! And Headbandz is a complex game, most kids get into in grade school.
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amother
Brown


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 10:43 am
It doesnt sound like a speech issue. It maybe apraxia or auditory processing disorder which means that the brain takes slightly longer in processing what it hears. The child can be very smart. I do work in the special ed field . My students who had a hard time with אבit was usually auditory processing disorder. If you live in Brooklyn let me know and I will tell you how to go about it as I do work with different agencies. He may need a little bit of seit, ot and speech. Good luck
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 11:05 am
amother wrote:
It doesnt sound like a speech issue. It maybe apraxia or auditory processing disorder which means that the brain takes slightly longer in processing what it hears. The child can be very smart. I do work in the special ed field . My students who had a hard time with אבit was usually auditory processing disorder. If you live in Brooklyn let me know and I will tell you how to go about it as I do work with different agencies. He may need a little bit of seit, ot and speech. Good luck


OP here...I live in NJ but I appreciate your input. What is seit? I was told that speech therapy would be able to help with his processing issue. Is that correct or would you recommend something else?
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5*Mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 11:06 am
Here is an article that discusses the long-term effects of academically-oriented preschool vs. play-based preschool:
https://www.psychologytoday.co.....-harm

It's really time for the frum community to catch up with evidenced-based education.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 11:10 am
OP here. I'm not sure how I came across in my initial post but I am not against therapy at all and am happy to get him the help he needs. I'm also not ashamed of this and I think my son is extremely street smart and has an extremely high vocabulary for a 4 year old. I don't think any less of him because of his processing issue. I don't know why I'm getting attacked for my post. I love my son so much and want to help him so he can have the necessary tools he needs once he goes to school. I am just a little overwhelmed because I need to get him a referral and it's not that easy to get in Lakewood.
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 11:14 am
amother wrote:
OP here. I'm not sure how I came across in my initial post but I am not against therapy at all and am happy to get him the help he needs. I'm also not ashamed of this and I think my son is extremely street smart and has an extremely high vocabulary for a 4 year old. I don't think any less of him because of his processing issue. I don't know why I'm getting attacked for my post. I love my son so much and want to help him so he can have the necessary tools he needs once he goes to school. I am just a little overwhelmed because I need to get him a referral and it's not that easy to get in Lakewood.


Didn't mean to come off attacking but you did say you feel bad for him and there is no reason to. I probably read deeper into your comment than necessary because I have seen how so many parents view these things as taboo -- they are already so worried about shiduchim that they would rather see their kid struggle and be miserable than have a label, so when I saw the comment you feel bad, it was a bit of a red flag to me. Sorry if I jumped the gun. But I stand by everything anyhow. Nothing to feel bad about. So many kids have minor learning challenges and they are overwhelmingly able to be dealt with well, with very successful outcomes. So long as parents don't stick their head in the sand or mope about it. Good luck!
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 5:34 pm
If you're in NY (probably most places in the US too) RUN DON'T WALK to request the evaluation. 4 1/2 doesn't give you much time before you're considered "school age" and then they're not as generous with providing help.

If Morah is concerned then it definitely doesn't hurt to get the evaluation and services, and then you can see how it goes. Difficulty sorting letter sounds and remembering numbers at 4 1/2 is a good reason to intervene just in case (especially if the child was exposed to them before, say in nursery or at home)
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amother
cornflower


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 7:09 pm
I am a speech therapist and I live in Lakewood -so I know where you are coming from. In NJ there are no preschool therapy services (CPSE) like there are in NY. The only options are to send to STARS or Linden. The other option is to pay for private therapy or go through your insurance company. Not all insurances cover speech. Specifically, the Medicaid plan that you pay into. If you do have real medicaid or another insurance that covers speech therapy, you need to get a prescription for the therapy and evaluation. At this point, Dr. Shanik's office is not giving scripts for langauge therapy. Some parents switched to different practices for this reason.
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amother
Papaya


 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 7:10 pm
seeker wrote:
If you're in NY (probably most places in the US too) RUN DON'T WALK to request the evaluation. 4 1/2 doesn't give you much time before you're considered "school age" and then they're not as generous with providing help.

If Morah is concerned then it definitely doesn't hurt to get the evaluation and services, and then you can see how it goes. Difficulty sorting letter sounds and remembering numbers at 4 1/2 is a good reason to intervene just in case (especially if the child was exposed to them before, say in nursery or at home)


I really am hoping to get a referral so I can get him properly evaluated by a speech therapist. I have a dr appt for my son this Thursday so hopefully, it goes well.
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justforfun87




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 7:43 pm
I have the same concerns about my son. I was googling away and found a state based criteria of what 4yr olds should know. It made me feel a lot better and wondering if maybe these Jewish schools are expecting too much? Maybe I'm just trying to make myself feel better. N
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Nov 29 2016, 10:49 pm
It's not so much a matter of expecting them to know a lot, but 1- how do they respond to being taught, and 2- trying to screen and intervene BEFORE things become "issues." Sure you could say "he's only 4, maybe we're expecting too much" but would you rather wait to see if a kid is having a hard time reading at 7 when they're already falling behind peers? It's precisely because that gets so difficult and painful that people started looking for red flags earlier. It's not a bad thing.
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