s/o fines for tests and bruised chickens

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 2:52 pm

Why does everything have to be so stressful? Why do we do this to our kids, to each other? Why do kids need tests to make them so stressed? Why don't we teach what's important - how to be a mentch, how not to try to control others, how to identify a bruise which treifa a chicken and how to cook it? What's kosher? So much of what is taught in school is such trash -,why? How to do your tax? How to run a household? How to parent kids? How to budget? Where to shop for things. What handyman to call for what? How to throw things out as not hoard? How to access the healthcare system? How to get therapies for your kids? How to identify your feelings and manage them before they overwhelm you?

Why science and algebra and literature and geography? And French and history and music?

I was so smart at all that stuff. And I'm so utterly useless and hopeless at

LIFE.

Fox

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 3:16 pm

Do you want the down-to-earth practical answer or the big-picture theoretical answer?

The down-to-earth answer is that many people feel that practical life skills can be picked up or figured out, whereas appreciating Chaucer is less likely to come so easily. They also want their kids to have a certain amount of erudition, in some cases for its own sake; in others, to prepare them for college, which as we all know, will guarantee them lifetimes of interesting, well-paid, highly-regarded work. Sarcasm intended.

This is not entirely without merit. I do want my kids to have some appreciation for the literary, artistic, and scientific achievements of Western Civilization. I do want them to have the basic language and math skills to pursue whatever higher education they find necessary or appropriate.

The big-picture theoretical answer is, in the view of many, a form of sexism that was ironically made worse by the feminist movement. Many of the practical skills you mention are partly if not entirely the purview of women. In their attempt to achieve equity for women, the feminist movement of the last half-century quit after doing only half the job.

Feminists adequately demonstrated that women can successfully perform many of the roles traditionally assigned to men -- working in jobs; managing finances; competing academically. But then they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Instead of pushing ahead to insist that traditional "women's work" should be recognized for its importance, they actually denigrated it. Most posters here are too young to remember, but it was a common slur in the late 70s and 80s to refer to a woman as a "cookie-baker" to indicate that she lacked intelligence or ambition.

You didn't specifically mention girls' education, OP, and this proves the point. "Women's work" is simply not something that we even consider teaching boys.

There is no real reason we can't do both -- or at least a better job at both. For example, I was especially impressed with part of the science curriculum my DDs got in HS: it was basic anatomy and physiology, but it was taught from the perspective of a mother and/or babysitter. My DD, who is now taking college-level A & P as part of nursing school, recently commented that her earlier studies had given her a huge advantage over her classmates.

I am sure, however, that there will be plenty of people who comment, "Well, I can teach my DD how to cook at home; I can't teach her Calculus." True enough, in some cases, but also a powerful statement about the value of cooking versus Calculus.

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 3:22 pm

Must there be a dichotomy? Surely it is possible to be a well-educated mentsch with practical life skills.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 3:22 pm

Fox I know. I have a degree in Political theory amongst other things. I studied feminism at college.

It was more of a vent than a question.

Notwithstanding the large number of question marks.

Whatever. Thanks for taking the time to reply. Appreciate it.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 3:26 pm

cm wrote:

Must there be a dichotomy? Surely it is possible to be a well-educated mentsch with practical life skills.

Not for me. My brain has a huge problem with real world stuff . but the school day is too long as it is .

Thanks for your input

#iguessimjustfeelingfrustratedthaticantcope

sourstix

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 5:59 pm

I agree that there needs to be a balance. There is none and that's why, I'm not embarrassed to say, I struggle too. I learned so many things that I have nothing from today. Yet we also were exposed to many projects that focused on midos. The school I went to was high in both fields. Yet for some reason the academics was given more chashivus. (Which word is there for it). But anyway, it's the world we live in. Cant fight it, join it.

sequoia

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 6:12 pm

If "how to get therapies for kids" is taught in school, that's a sign we need to mix up the gene pool a little.

MagentaYenta

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 6:47 pm

I'm not going to argue about well rounded educations, each person has their own perspective on that subject. I do think may folks over look how to destress their lives and develop better coping skills. The internet is loaded with suggestions for adults and kids. Pick out a few to practice and settle for the ones that work.

amother

Brunette

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 7:50 pm

Fox wrote:

I don't remember the 70s, but I do remember HRC pissing off many Americans in 1992 by saying she had more important things to do than bake cookies. I didn't realize she was aiming for a particular reference.

bluebird

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 8:08 pm

amother wrote:

And do you remember why that even came up?

http://qz.com/762881/the-blata.....back/

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Dec 18 2016, 11:21 pm

Let me put this another way - other than 'living' how can you learn life skills?

Specifically

- staying calm under pressure
- not feeling overwhelmed with too much to do
- knowing how much food to make each night
- knowing when to stand up and when to keep quiet
-,how to call a therapist or doctor
- how to advocate for your kid
- how not to get ripped off by tradesmen
- what to do at a bris
- how to organize a bar mitzvah
- how to arrange a funeral
- how to keep a fridge clean
- how to outsource things you can't do
- how often to call a friend
-,how not to be scared of new things

amother

Gold

Mon, Dec 19 2016, 12:42 am

sourstix wrote:

Yet for some reason the academics was given more chashivus. (Which word is there for it).

Importance, emphasis, attention.

I think many of us would like our children to have a good command of English.

zigi

Mon, Dec 19 2016, 1:38 am

sequoia wrote:

If "how to get therapies for kids" is taught in school, that's a sign we need to mix up the gene pool a little.

kids from mixed genes can also need therapy.
would you have been interested in a school that only taught practical skills op?
self help books about housekeeping, networking with other mothers, finding mentors. there are programs out there like early intervention home based program and mother to mother.
also living away from home was helpful, figuring how to clean and shop. in sem we had to prepare lunch on a rota