Always holding it in!

amother

Hotpink

Sat, Jan 28 2017, 4:57 pm

Dd is almost three.
We did the bare bottom method, and she did great. Sure, we had accidents here and there, but she'd go on her own - quickly and efficiently.
Now though, I'm noticing that she's holding it in for a really long time. She'll start dancing around and refuses to go. She tells me she's itchy and her tummy hurts and I'm worried about her!
It's a huge power struggle - either we drag her to the potty, or she has an accident.
We try making it fun...let's sit for 10 seconds, what language should we count in etc, but she flat out refuses.
I think she doesn't actually need to go as often as I think, so I did try just letting her follow her own cues. Until I noticed her dancing around and she told me she's itchy etc.
(I think she started this when I kept telling her we need to try to go before we leave the house...basically when we stopped putting her in diapers when we went out. Guess she got frustrated at being forced to go when she didn't need to. But I didn't want her to make in the park!)
Advice?

amother

Bisque

Sat, Jan 28 2017, 5:03 pm

Sounds like you have to totally back off and give her some control.

Or you could try giving her a feeling of control - do you want on go now or at the mall?

What you wrote in brackets at the end of the post is probably spot on, and you have to do the opposite.

amother

Hotpink

Sun, Feb 05 2017, 4:54 pm

Thanks for your responses.
I backed off, she had a few accidents the first day, held it in for 6 HOURS the second day. She held it in a bit the next day, and is now actually going a normal amount per day. I still see her holding it in sometimes, but she's gotten much better both on her own and if I tell her I think she looks like she needs to make.
And, added bonus: she was terrified of real toilets without inserts, but now that the alternative is going at home before we leave when she doesn't need to, she got over the fear!