coffee clotch (ie:lashon hara) at work...

amother

Tue, Jul 17 2007, 12:12 pm

I work in an office with all religiuos women. there is even a woman who organizes shmirat halashon tests every week.

there are times at the office when there is a lull in work and some of the women just sit around and talk nothing but lashon hara. I dont know any of these owmen or who or what they are specifically talking about, but just listening to the shtuyot that they talk about makes me nuts.

I try to be really carefull about not listening or talking lashon hara when I am able, but at work, it happens every single day. these women, to my utter disgust are also the women who are doing the learning for the shmirat halashon tests so they know that they should not be talking about what they are talking about.

and, no, I can not tell all of them to stop talking about all of the stuyot that they are talking about b/c I do not want to make enemies at work, does that make sense?

this was really just a vent but if anyone has any ideas.....................

amother

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 6:22 am

chocolate moose wrote:

Maybe, to them, it's not loshonhorah.

how can something not be lashon hara to one person but to another it is?

it is outright lashon hara and I mentioned that all of these women are also taking the shmirat halashon test every week, so they are learning what lasho hara is as well.....

amother

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 7:20 am

Ima'la wrote:

Can you start a conversation about something else?

I never ever join in to their conversations, ever.

I am the only non charedi or non chasidish woman at work and the things that they talk about, I wouldnt join in anyway, I mean, it always starts about their children (I have non yet) or their husbands learning full time (mine doesnt) so I sit, when there is that down time with a book and dont join in. its just annoying to have to listen to the conversations b/c even though the conversations START in areas that are ok, inevidably the conversations turn to places that they are uping eachother and things like that and just plain lashon hara. it makes me quiet sick sometimes.
they all do the shmirat halashon tests yet every day they are sitting there and speaking it outright.........

amother

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 8:04 am

Quote:

how can something not be lashon hara to one person but to another it is?

many times people excuse themselves by saying its "toeles".

of course that doesn't make it any less loshon hora though Wink

chocolate moose

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 10:04 am

amother wrote:

chocolate moose wrote:

Maybe, to them, it's not loshonhorah.

I can only tell you what goes on in our house. We have a small apt and evryone hears just about everything . . if I talk to a friend on the phone, from another room DS tends to yell ouit Loshon Horah quite often. I tell hinm it's not loshon horah that we are speaking as loshon horah is not allowed.

Lechatchila Ariber

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 7:57 pm

Chocolate moose wrote:

I tell hinm it's not loshon horah that we are speaking as loshon horah is not allowed.

I don't get it. Confused

how does loshon hora not being allowed disqaulify something from being loshon hora?

greenfire

Wed, Jul 18 2007, 8:08 pm

hard to know ... don't join them ... yes while it is hypocritical for them learning and loshon horaing ... it is really their avaira to fix ... not yours ...

can you take your break elsewhere ...

chocolate moose

Thu, Jul 19 2007, 10:19 am

EstiS wrote:

Chocolate moose wrote:

I tell hinm it's not loshon horah that we are speaking as loshon horah is not allowed.

I don't get it. Confused

how does loshon hora not being allowed disqaulify something from being loshon hora?

for example.

I attend a kashruth shiur. we talk about bishul akum. someone asks, is product xyz bishul akum? and the rabbi answer bishul akum is not allowed.

that's what I mean.