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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Is this a cause for concern?



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amother
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Post Sat, May 13 2017, 2:04 pm
My 7 yr old son seems to enjoy tickling my 3 yr old daughter- but it seems that he is specifically trying to tickle/ touch her on her private parts (she is always clothed). For example he'll be tickling her toes and then somehow his hands end up 'there' and she is laughing through it all and it's some silly game- BUT I don't like it at all and I am worried about a few things:

1) Is this normal behavior for his age?
2) Is this an indication that he may have been touched inappropriately?
3) Would this have caused (early) sexualization in my daughter that needs to be addressed?
4) What are the appropriate steps I need to take at this stage?
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 13 2017, 2:32 pm
Always a possibility.
But I have noticed that my babies and toddlers are most ticklish over there. That's why we like to pinch their pulkes. I stop after a certain age, but a child wont have the sensitivity to, especially when he gets the best laugh from there.
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 13 2017, 7:44 pm
amother wrote:
My 7 yr old son seems to enjoy tickling my 3 yr old daughter- but it seems that he is specifically trying to tickle/ touch her on her private parts (she is always clothed). For example he'll be tickling her toes and then somehow his hands end up 'there' and she is laughing through it all and it's some silly game- BUT I don't like it at all and I am worried about a few things:

1) Is this normal behavior for his age?
2) Is this an indication that he may have been touched inappropriately?
3) Would this have caused (early) sexualization in my daughter that needs to be addressed?
4) What are the appropriate steps I need to take at this stage?


yes
No
No
Tell him that we don't touch other people there and the tickling game is allowed only if you tickle arms and legs
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 13 2017, 8:43 pm
amother wrote:
My 7 yr old son seems to enjoy tickling my 3 yr old daughter- but it seems that he is specifically trying to tickle/ touch her on her private parts (she is always clothed). For example he'll be tickling her toes and then somehow his hands end up 'there' and she is laughing through it all and it's some silly game- BUT I don't like it at all and I am worried about a few things:

1) Is this normal behavior for his age?
2) Is this an indication that he may have been touched inappropriately?
3) Would this have caused (early) sexualization in my daughter that needs to be addressed?
4) What are the appropriate steps I need to take at this stage?


It's probably normal, but have you had the good/bad touch, private parts, safety, and "secrets" conversations with him?

The Fight Child Abuse organization has some You Tube videos up that really do a good job of laying out the basics. You can customize some of the information and just have a talk with your child if watching videos isn't your thing. I posted one link, but there are a whole bunch on their website.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNTUMNKSNwk

There's a cute little book called Some Parts Are Not For Sharing, that talks about how any touch on an area that's normally covered by a bathing is "bad touch" and should be talked about with a parent.

Once you've had those basic talks with him (if you haven't had them yet, you should) You can mention that private areas are not for tickling. That should address the problem. If it doesn't, if he seems obsessed or preoccupied with touching her, you might want to take him to a child psychologist just for an assessment.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Sat, May 13 2017, 9:15 pm
Children (including adults) are always curious of the opposite gender. It doesn't mean he was touched. He just has to stop because it's not appropriate. It's weird because children usually do that behind closed doors. I would tell him to keep his hands to himself and that he is not allowed to touch anybody ever.
Ask a professional.
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amother
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Post Mon, May 15 2017, 9:55 am
Thanks for your replies.
I have spoken to my kids about body safety- and yet I am still concerned bc of this behavior. I have told him more than once that this is not ok and yet he is having a hard time following the rules...I think I need to be watching them more closely (no more shabbos naps for me)!
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, May 15 2017, 1:26 pm
No Tickling.
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