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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Shavuos
zaq
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Tue, May 30 2017, 1:13 pm
watergirl wrote: | I was told even during the meal how much I've offended the guest for making something knowing she cant eat it. With multiple guests. |
I would cross that person off my guest list. A host has to provide food a guest can eat in sufficient quantity that the guest doesn't walk away hungry. A host is NOT obligated to ensure that there's nothing on the table that the guest can't eat. Just because she has a restricted diet doesn't mean everyone else has to suffer. If she feels she can't control herself around foods she shouldn't have, she shouldn't accept meal invitations, period. To be offended that you catered to the preferences of other people besides her is the act of a spoiled brat.
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Chayalle
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Tue, May 30 2017, 1:26 pm
Wow, reading this thread I think you are a saint Debsey and so are your kids. There'd be war breaking out here if I altered the Shavuos menu for a guest. My kids love dairy and they look forward to the Shavuos foods all year. I'd be happy to make extra stuff, within reason, to accommodate a guest, but I would not be able to minimize what I make for my own family.
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MiracleMama
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Tue, May 30 2017, 3:02 pm
watergirl wrote: | I agree with this - but in the past when ai've hosted and done this, I was told even during the meal how much I've offended the guest for making something knowing she cant eat it. With multiple guests. So you never know... |
That's pretty abnormal behavior.
I really don't feel like cooking either, OP, and normally I love cooking, I love being hostess, entertaining is totally my thing but right now I just don't want to make anything for anyone. Feeling grateful that we are in the unusual position of being invited out for 3 out of 4 meals so I'm almost completely off the hook.
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debsey
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Tue, May 30 2017, 3:32 pm
Chayalle wrote: | Wow, reading this thread I think you are a saint Debsey and so are your kids. There'd be war breaking out here if I altered the Shavuos menu for a guest. My kids love dairy and they look forward to the Shavuos foods all year. I'd be happy to make extra stuff, within reason, to accommodate a guest, but I would not be able to minimize what I make for my own family. |
Not such a saint. Sometimes we decide to handle things in a certain way, well aware of the tradeoff. I think I was surprised at how unenthusiastic I'd feel.But thanks to the supportive comments, and just the process of writing it all out, I'm in a much better place now (plus I'm 3/4 done so I'm calmer)
In the end, we did our usual Shavuous baking because my husband pointed out that she will probably not be awake for the kiddush in the morning, so we can serve our usual cheesecakes and my daughters each made something they wanted to experiment with.
My sons are THRILLED that the menu is pretty much meat and potatoes. No disappointment there, my boys are not milchig eaters.
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