7 Year Old Curious about Things

petiteruchy

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 11:00 am

amother wrote:

Huh? Although I don't agree with that poster at all, did you seriously just accuse a father of 'most likely' having abused their son when you have absolutely no idea? Even if the kid was abused, it could have been anyone. No need to point fingers and label people when trying to get a message across.

I read that post as being about the best friend's sibling, not the best friend's child, but regardless, and although it's a harsh way to describe it, it likely wasn't "anyone" who abused the young boy, it was most likely a family member or another close and trusted adult. Those are the people who have access to and power over children when it comes to abuse.

There is a need to point fingers here... this poster has gone through life thinking a 10 year old abused his siblings because someone told him what kissing was. Aside from the fact that giving your children relevant biological and relationship information does not lead to s-xual abuse, in fact, your child knowing what is normal and healthy often gives them the tools to report s-xual abuse, it's clear that no one ever did talk about the reality of this situation, even the painful possibility that it was a family member that started this cycle.

DrMom

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 11:05 am

Blessing1 wrote:

Op I think You have told to much for a 7 year old to know. Now he'll have more questions. It's ok to tell them that we don't do it, end of story. I don't understand why people think that kids need to know everything. He's not even 7 yet, he can't grasp what you told him. If you answer a simple answer he probably won't think so deep into it.

And then one day he'll grow up, realize his parents have been telling him a sheker, and begin to wonder: Hmmm... how much of all the other stuff they've been telling me is pure garbage too?

crust

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 11:20 am

imasinger wrote:

I don't think crust was pointing any fingers.

I think she was trying to say that statistically, the greatest likelihood is that an abuser is in the home.

That may not quite be correct.

According to what I just looked up if a child is under 6, the likelihood is about 50% that the molester is someone in the same home. Over 6, more like 30%.

The odds are 90% that the molester is someone a child knows.

Excuse me while I go wash my eyes with soap.

Thanks for seeing that I did not try to point fingers here.

I also dont think it must've happened at home.
I have no idea where it happened.
What I was trying to point out, is that SOMETHING HAPENED. And most of the times it happens not by some stranger but by someone very close. And in a place where the child is heimish.

For a 10 year old to seriously mess up with siblings, the abuse to him did not happen only once.
Aderabe. Take my posts show them to a proffessional and prove me wrong. I'll dance with you. I assume we are both equally concerned for our children and we'll both be relieved that I was wrong.

And imasinger, I bet you can use soft soap. Smile

People that want to be educated, avail themselves to the metzias.
Being harsh to your eyes wont pull anyone out of thier ignorance. LOL

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 1:32 pm

simba wrote:

oh no! I kiss my kids on the lips all the time and they hate it! At least there will be no taboo about it in my family Smile

I dont French kiss them but definitely a little peck.. they squirm and then happily give me their cheeks!

I don't want to hijack the thread, but I couldn't let this go unremarked.

It's very hard to teach children about safe touch and boundaries when we ourselves are violating them. If your children don't like to be kissed on the mouth then you absolutely should not do so. Same goes for tickling and other seemingly innocent behaviors. We need to train our children to stand up for themselves and know their boundaries.

- a mother who doesn't kiss her 9 year old daughter at all because she doesn't like to be kissed

crust

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 1:37 pm

amother wrote:

The bolded. Thanks for voicing it.

About your daughter maybe try asking her what bothers her about being kissed; is it too hard too soft too wet too sudden to tickilsh? Its important to figure it out.

simba

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 3:06 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks for pointing out. I will make a point to respect their preferences.

amother

Sapphire

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 7:03 pm

When my dd was young , can't remember precise age, she asked to kiss me on my lips. I went along with it. We kissed on the lips on a regular basis, as she seemed to want it and enjoy it. I didn't think it's taboo. She seems to have developed healthily despite it.

Zehava

Mon, Sep 04 2017, 11:15 pm

This is one heck of a messed up thread
I feel for all those innocent kids who ask innocent questions and get shot down because of adult fears and insecurities.
Kids are meant to be curious. They are meant to ask questions. How else will they learn?
To me if a child asks a question that makes sense, that shows they are thinking and curious, it means they are ready for the answer. Ofcourse that answer may vary by age, for younger kids I would stick to more technical answers and usually they don't dig deeper unless they are ready for a deeper answer. This approach really helped when a close relative died. They had so many questions but I stayed calm and stuck to the facts and bh they came out of the experience so healthy with no residual trauma.
Please do not dump your fears on your kids. Help them learn about the world.