Ignoring Faults | Imamother

yehudis

Thu, Mar 03 2005, 11:44 pm

RivkaH wrote:

chulent I get what you are saying. I think the people who dont get what you are saying here and are missing your point, got married at 19.

Hey, I got married at 19 and don't regret it for a second Smile

.

Rivka, nice to see another person from LA here!

supermom

Mon, Mar 07 2005, 1:37 am

I don't think it makes a difference if a person is mature or not everybody finds faults in everyone it is only natural no matter what age you are, and how mature a person claims they are.

Quote:

It takes a lot of maturity to ignore faults.

isn't it said that when a person sees a fault in another it is as if he is looking at himself in a mirror?

chulent

Mon, Mar 07 2005, 1:44 am

supermom I totally dont agree with you when you say "everybody finds faults in everyone it is only natural no matter what age you are, and how mature a person claims they are." I actually know a few people that DO NOT do that. I respect them so much. They have obviously worked really hard on this because its not an easy one. I do think that maturity is something one needs to work on themselves. If its not that, then what else? Maybe they were just brought up by brillient parents who just got it right!

happymom

Wed, Jun 01 2005, 3:54 pm

There are two reasons why you would see faults in others. Sometimes it is because you can help them and other times cuz you have it. The way to tell is if it bothers you, or if you feel bad for them. there is a difference between the two.

Motek

Wed, Jun 01 2005, 6:14 pm

chulent wrote:

It takes a lot of maturity to ignore faults.

some people are blessed with the midda of an ayin tov (a good eye) or they are blessed by being raised or exposed to people with an ayin tov and they learn from them

carrot

Thu, Jun 02 2005, 1:40 pm

chulent, I am also so happy that I did not get married at 19, but I've heard people say that part of the reason that it is GOOD to get married at 19 is because you are so young that you have fewer expectations, you are less rigid, and you just grow up together with your husband. (so I guess you'd be less critial too.)

what do all of you think?

anybody who got married at 19 - what do you think of this?

Tefila

Thu, Jun 02 2005, 1:43 pm

Quote:

anybody who got married at 19 - what do you think of this?

Depends how old u'r husband is too you know.
In some ways we have grown together faced victorys and challenges together incl heartbreaks! But in some ways he was/is my mentor and guide. B"h! Very Happy

And in some ways I'm his too Wink

Last edited by Tefila on Thu, Jun 02 2005, 3:59 pm; edited 1 time in total

RedVines

Thu, Jun 02 2005, 1:47 pm

I was married early 20, My husband was 23.

I agree that we completly grew together, no expections except to be happy, be in love, pay the bills....

yehudis

Thu, Jun 02 2005, 3:35 pm

I got married at 19, and I think it's very true -- I didn't have any expectations other than the basics, and B"H we've been growing together.

stem

Thu, Jun 02 2005, 4:01 pm

I didn't get married at 19, but I see from my friends who did, a lot of them are not happy 5-6 years later. When they got married they had no worries, they were supported by their parents, and lived a honeymoon life. Now they have 3-4 kids and all of a sudden realize that real life as snuck up on them. The husbands are scrambling to get an education or find a job while still trying to support their large families. The wives are still working to support while their husbands begin to get their act together while taking care of the children. I got married at 21 and my husband was 23. I am happy that I married someone who was almost finished with his degree and ready to start supporting a family.

Hopefully they will grow together, but at 19 many people don't know what they want, or haven't thought about it yet.