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Could the Me Too Movement Be Dangerous?
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 9:52 am
TBH, and I know I'll get stoned for this, most of the stories I saw with the #metoo were not harassement at all. Whistling as you pass by half naked isn't harassment. Or even if you are fully dressed. Touching you is different, though a friendly light hug that many consider normal greeting is not harassment unless they were asked not to do it. From the stories I've seen most were just discrediting the real stories of harassment and making women look bad for being such whimps. Most were not harassment.
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 10:00 am
amother wrote:
Whistling as you pass by half naked isn't harassment. .


And what if you were fully clothed - is it harassment then?
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 10:06 am
amother wrote:
And what if you were fully clothed - is it harassment then?

Finish reading the post. Whisteling is not harassment. Some touching is. Typical friendly greetings that are widely accepted is not harassment either, unless previously specified not to do it.
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WhatFor




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 10:25 am
I do think it will have an impact. Probably not a significant impact on the worst of the abusers (like the ones who actually get off on being abusive), but more so on some men who never took the time to think about how their actions were impacting a woman's experience (the ones who are doing it because they want to feel the pleasure and never stopped to consider that a woman is a human with feelings.)

Jezebel had an interesting article where a woman interviewed a man who had date raped her years earlier. I do believe from his article that he was contrite and I'm not minimizing what he did in any way, but from his description, it almost sounded like he thought he could just go to this sleeping girl and try to have zex with her, and if she didn't want to, she would have resisted. Like his trying to have zex with a sleeping, passed out girl was "making a move". (She woke up in middle.)

I think there are other men like him who would do something awful like that if they never stopped to think about it, but with this movement hopefully it would give them pause.

I hate saying this because it almost feels like it's a justification (well how did they know they shouldn't rape a woman if they were never taught?) but it's not. I'm writing how I think this movement might be helpful. It's sad that some men need to be taught that women aren't vessels to be used for their pleasure, but here we are.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 1:02 pm
Yes, I think it could be dangerous. Women are being called "brave" when sometimes, I think they are just using the word "abuse" where it does not apply, wrecking havoc on a man's reputation at times. A woman actually #metoo'd Elie Wiesel, claiming he pinched her while taking a group picture at a gala! Her story doesn't even make sense (she claims she was 19 but he must have thought she was 14). Shockingly enough, many people are forwarding her article and calling her "brave". The problem is there is no punishment for fabricating a story. Anyone can do it.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 1:10 pm
amother wrote:
TBH, and I know I'll get stoned for this, most of the stories I saw with the #metoo were not harassement at all. Whistling as you pass by half naked isn't harassment. ...


Is hyperbole your middle name?? For goodness sakes stop the exaggeration. Exaggeration is a poor tool to use if you want to convince people of the validity of your argument. Just admit it's easier for you to blame the targets of harassment than consider the implications (I.e. that a harasser can be your, husband, son or your cousin Yossi etc).
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BH5745




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 1:19 pm
Unfortunately some women seekbmale attention any way they can. Then when they finally succeed in getting it they cry 'harassment!' The whole idea of making a #metoo "movement" is so ridiculous.
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 2:36 pm
BH5745 wrote:
Unfortunately some women seekbmale attention any way they can. Then when they finally succeed in getting it they cry 'harassment!' The whole idea of making a #metoo "movement" is so ridiculous.
This may be the most offensive comment I've read here in some time.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 2:42 pm
Clarissa wrote:
This may be the most offensive comment I've read here in some time.

Nah, I was already called a self hating Jew today. At least this poster did it under her screen name.
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 2:42 pm
MagentaYenta wrote:
Nah, I was already called a self hating Jew today. At least this poster did it under her screen name.
Ah, the self-hating Jew insult. Yep, I've gotten that one plenty of times here. Good times!
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 2:48 pm
MagentaYenta wrote:
Nah, I was already called a self hating Jew today. At least this poster did it under her screen name.


Nope, this was worse. IMNSHO.

Every time someone says "look at how she dressed, she wanted it," I want to scream.

Then I need to quote the famous Golda Meir quote: When Israel was experiencing an epidemic of violent rapes and someone at a cabinet meeting suggested women be put under curfew until the rapists were caught, Meir shot back, “Men are committing the rapes. Let them be put under curfew.”
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dancingqueen




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 2:54 pm
amother wrote:
TBH, and I know I'll get stoned for this, most of the stories I saw with the #metoo were not harassement at all. Whistling as you pass by half naked isn't harassment. Or even if you are fully dressed. Touching you is different, though a friendly light hug that many consider normal greeting is not harassment unless they were asked not to do it. From the stories I've seen most were just discrediting the real stories of harassment and making women look bad for being such whimps. Most were not harassment.


s-xual harassment- unwanted s-xual verbal attention.
s-xual assault- unwanted s-xual physical attention.

Obviously there are degrees of both from whistling to the more aggressive and explicit, and from grabbing a butt to rape. A friendly hug? Really? There are a lot of self hating women on this thread.
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 3:00 pm
BH5745 wrote:
Unfortunately some women seekbmale attention any way they can. Then when they finally succeed in getting it they cry 'harassment!' The whole idea of making a #metoo "movement" is so ridiculous.


Do you adopt this approach for men who are harassed and assaulted as well? Or just women?
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marina




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 3:07 pm
amother wrote:
TBH, and I know I'll get stoned for this, most of the stories I saw with the #metoo were not harassement at all. Whistling as you pass by half naked isn't harassment. Or even if you are fully dressed. Touching you is different, though a friendly light hug that many consider normal greeting is not harassment unless they were asked not to do it. From the stories I've seen most were just discrediting the real stories of harassment and making women look bad for being such whimps. Most were not harassment.


Most of the stories I saw as part of the MeToo were about (1) people masturb@ting at a woman on public transit or /and touching her (2) completely inappropriate workplace comments; and (3) straight up rape.

I don't think I saw any MeToos that were about whistling construction workers.
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MagentaYenta




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 3:08 pm
Clarissa wrote:
Ah, the self-hating Jew insult. Yep, I've gotten that one plenty of times here. Good times!


Are there t-shirts?
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Clarissa




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 3:19 pm
MagentaYenta wrote:
Are there t-shirts?
I'd love to get one, but I have a feeling my husband would not be amused. Very Happy
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2017, 4:05 pm
MagentaYenta wrote:
Is hyperbole your middle name?? For goodness sakes stop the exaggeration. Exaggeration is a poor tool to use if you want to convince people of the validity of your argument. Just admit it's easier for you to blame the targets of harassment than consider the implications (I.e. that a harasser can be your, husband, son or your cousin Yossi etc).

I'm not blaming the targets. I continued to say it's the same if you are fully clothed. Whisteling is not harassment.

And Marina, we clearly have different social media friends. The ones I was seeing were primarily "he looked at me the wrong way" and making a mockery of those with real complaints like your examples.
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