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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Schooling alternative
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simba




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2017, 11:14 am
Let me introduce myself: I am anti-institutional by nature. I hate rules, authority, abuse of power, herd mentality, herd expectations etc..

Let me introduce my child: he is quite and eidel. He is sweet, he is sensitive, he is a B student, he is a child, he needs attention, needs approval, needs to be noticed, needs a hug, needs to play etc...

Let me introduce school: school is big, cold, overwhelming, competitive, long, long, long, boring, repetitive, teachers ar tired, teachers are underpaid, teachers are underskilled, Boys are mean, Some boys are nice, everyday..all day ...etc..

So, I want to go back to Europe. 5 boys, a melamed for 3-4 hours a day..in my dining room. We will be able to pay him enough as it I should only a few hours. No smart boards, no iPads, no stupidity.

Sleep in..get up, play, eat
Learn from. 10-2
All done,.go back to play, color, build etc...

Maybe a math and reading tutor from 4-5pm.

Am I crazy?
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2017, 11:16 am
simba wrote:
Let me introduce myself: I am anti-institutional by nature. I hate rules, authority, abuse of power, herd mentality, herd expectations etc..

Let me introduce my child: he is quite and eidel. He is sweet, he is sensitive, he is a B student, he is a child, he needs attention, needs approval, needs to be noticed, needs a hug, needs to play etc...

Let me introduce school: school is big, cold, overwhelming, competitive, long, long, long, boring, repetitive, teachers ar tired, teachers are underpaid, teachers are underskilled, Boys are mean, Some boys are nice, everyday..all day ...etc..

So, I want to go back to Europe. 5 boys, a melamed for 3-4 hours a day..in my dining room. We will be able to pay him enough as it I should only a few hours. No smart boards, no iPads, no stupidity.

Sleep in..get up, play, eat
Learn from. 10-2
All done,.go back to play, color, build etc...

Maybe a math and reading tutor from 4-5pm.

Am I crazy?


How old is your child?

Are you suggesting 4 hours a week on only reading and math? Would you supplement the tutor?
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simba




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2017, 11:23 am
Squishy wrote:
How old is your child?

Are you suggesting 4 hours a week on only reading and math? Would you supplement the tutor?


He Is 7, he has a brother coming up behind him by a few years who will be a terror is school. Carbon copy of my brothers, they sat in the hallways of the school building for many years!

I will supplement with a tutor.

It just kills me to buy into this system and my tuition is a little fortune.
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2017, 12:28 pm
simba wrote:
He Is 7, he has a brother coming up behind him by a few years who will be a terror is school. Carbon copy of my brothers, they sat in the hallways of the school building for many years!

I will supplement with a tutor.

It just kills me to buy into this system and my tuition is a little fortune.


According to one of these Jewish weeklies, people are making that choice. I would have to find the article and I won't have time today but that is not as odd of a choice as you imagine. It isn't cheap, however because this rebbe will probably want in the neighborhood of $50 an hour and you will have to find someone who only wants to work for a few hours a day, but it is being done.
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simba




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2017, 12:31 pm
southernbubby wrote:
According to one of these Jewish weeklies, people are making that choice. I would have to find the article and I won't have time today but that is not as odd of a choice as you imagine. It isn't cheap, however because this rebbe will probably want in the neighborhood of $50 an hour and you will have to find someone who only wants to work for a few hours a day, but it is being done.


If I have 5 boys that's 8k a year. My tuition is not less then that. Yes, it includes breakfast and lunch which are not real food. Cereal and milk and fish sticks, noodles commercial garbage etc...
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southernbubby




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2017, 12:38 pm
simba wrote:
If I have 5 boys that's 8k a year. My tuition is not less then that. Yes, it includes breakfast and lunch which are not real food. Cereal and milk and fish sticks, noodles commercial garbage etc...


See if you can find someone who will do it. There is no right or wrong answer. The pitfalls are that our community puts everyone in a box and these boxes are held up to scrutiny later in life, so the kid whose learning style is best accommodated with a private rebbe has to eventually be able to fit into a world not tailor made for him. He will have to be able to eventually follow rules of society so I would say that if you employ this method, do it with the idea that it is to eventually re-introduce the boy to some sort of formalized schooling, because that is what we as a conformist society tend to do. I see some out-of-box types who run in a social circle of other out-of-box types and their kids marry just fine into those families and I see some out-of-box types whose kids have no society to fit into so keep that in mind.
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anonymrs




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2017, 9:27 pm
I'm totally with you! I want to homeschool but don't have the guts. And right now I make quite a bit more money than I pay in tuition so not financcially a worthwhile investment for me to stop working and stay home iwth my kids.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2017, 9:33 pm
I'm with you with your entire attitude. Schools are so flawed nowadays its almost not worth it to send at all.

I think your plan is ideal, if you can manage it! I know a woman that homeschools her children. She has 6, and the oldest is around 8. She hires a rebbe to learn with the boys for a few hours, and she teachers the girls. They have a homeschool program they do two mornings a week with other teachers and more homeschooling families. Her kids are amazing, she is amazing. Most mother's just don't have the patience and stamina to do it.

Another option (what I do) Is a montessori school. If you have one in your area, it might be a happy middle.
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ruby slippers




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2017, 9:39 pm
Go for it!!! So much support out there now a days and so many amazing programs online- Just make sure he has a social outlet- be it Shabbos groups or some kind of extra curricular with other kids...
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2017, 10:53 pm
Simba, you and I and my adult son think alike. Thanks for starting this thread. I have felt so alone here. Now I see I have like-minded company here .
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Wed, Dec 06 2017, 10:55 pm
Reminds me of the NY homeschooling group (not frum). I think the woman's name is Spiegel.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2017, 2:45 am
So like outsourced homeschooling?
I think that's great. Especially if you work with a couple other families to pool resources. Mrs. A is great at math, Mrs. B is a writer, Mrs. C is creative and artistic...
And a Rebbe for a few hours.
Check if there are homeschooling groups in your area. They may work together to get group discounts at museums and the like.
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2017, 7:14 am
There's also a Chabad online school.
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simba




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2017, 8:43 am
saw50st8 wrote:
There's also a Chabad online school.


The only thing worse then sitting in overcrowded classroom with a burnt out teacher is sitting yourself at home staring at a computer screen. I can imagine my children turning into zombies!
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2017, 8:57 am
simba wrote:
The only thing worse then sitting in overcrowded classroom with a burnt out teacher is sitting yourself at home staring at a computer screen. I can imagine my children turning into zombies!


People who use the school speak really highly of it. I can't give you any feedback because I've never used it. We have great schools where I live so we utilize them.
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simba




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2017, 9:02 am
saw50st8 wrote:
People who use the school speak really highly of it. I can't give you any feedback because I've never used it. We have great schools where I live so we utilize them.


I have relatives who use it. They are happy, they live in places where the options is that or homeschooling and they choose that because that is the only other "social" interaction their kids have with other frum kids.
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2017, 9:09 am
I'm so proud of you, your post on the other thread made me so sad for your kid. Please look in to other options. A lot of people make homeschooling work for them and their kids flourish.. I think it's great. Right now my child is in a Montessori school which seems to be working well for the most part, don't know if there's such a school near you.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2017, 9:10 am
amother wrote:
Another option (what I do) Is a montessori school. If you have one in your area, it might be a happy middle.
We love love love our Montessori school. Not sure where you live OP. The Orthodox Montessori elementary and up schools in the US that I'm aware of are:

Netivot (East Brunswick, NJ) (6 weeks through 8th grade).

Lamplighters (Brooklyn, NY) (Not sure what grades they cover, maybe preschool through 8th?)

Ohr Torah Cincinnati (Cincinnati, OH) (3 yrs to 5th grade, with grades to be added each year).

There may be more that I don't know about.
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simba




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2017, 9:18 am
Yes, I would be interested in a Montessori school for my child but unfortunately when alternative style schools open in my community they end up loosing the Yeshiva feel. I am very old school in my hashkafa and the Montessori in my area would be a compromise for me on values.

I wish there was a Montessori or any alternative school that knew how to balance an authentic Jewish education ima child friendly enviorment, I guess I am asking for to much Surprised
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amother
Cyan


 

Post Thu, Dec 07 2017, 9:52 am
just a clarification OTC only goes up to 4th grade this year and there is only 3 kids in that grade this year.


Honestly, about your hashkafa point I think the "issue" is not the schools per say but the "type" of people who are willing to send to an "alternative" school.

I find that often more yesheivish people will be more likely to stick with the familiar style of teaching, they might even consider it more authentic, why start up with something alternative unless it's really not working for their child. So they might switch their kid in to an alternative school when he's older vs starting there to begin with.

There's also the concern in terms of learning, if he isn't learning as much much or the same ways as other boys there is a concern that he won't be able to get in to a mainstream yeshiva high school. I believe Montessouri teaches limudei kodesh to the boys differently then mainstream schools do. I don't have personal experience but that's what I heard.

Lebavitch people on the other hand are very open to Montessori because I believe the rebbe was asked about it and he gave his haskamah so it's considered approved.
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