Is it appropriate for a high school girl

amother

Emerald

Mon, Jan 01 2018, 4:21 am

I'm a mother. Daughter is writing a persuasive writing or similiar. (English is not my first language) She Is writing why hallway passes are not a good idea. (3 passes per term) And that without it girls would not feel the need as much. She puts things like "the school thinks we will never grow up" "lack of trust" "who still lies nowadays". My question: Will it be academically acceptable? She is in high school.

dovebird

Mon, Jan 01 2018, 4:53 am

Does she need legitimate sources and qoutes to back herself up or is it supposed to be just her opinion? I think it could be academically acceptable if she does good research.

LisaS

Mon, Jan 01 2018, 5:42 am

The subject choice is good, but she needs to make sure her arguments are age-appropriate. Let's say she wants to bring up this issue with the board of directors of the school. How would she persuade them that hall passes are a bad idea? Saying "the school doesn't trust us" isn't as effective as saying "studies show that trusting teens to manage their own time has the following positive outcomes...etc"

amother

Mauve

Mon, Jan 01 2018, 10:05 am

As a high school teacher, I don't find fault with her expressing criticism in this way. But, as a writing teacher, I can tell you that she might not get a good mark considering that these are not strong persuasive arguments. It's a superficial and immature way of supporting your main idea.
("Who lies nowadays" is a rhetorical statement. "School thinks we never grow up" and "lack of trust" are subjective statements and should be proven by specific scenarios.)

amother

Lemon

Mon, Jan 01 2018, 10:17 am

amother wrote:

How about - when we are given hall passes we feel like the Administration doesn’t trust us. When I feel that my parents trust me to do something It’s empowering and I do a good job. When I feel like I’m not being trusted I’m resentful and I usually misbehave. The administration will see better behaved students, based on my experiences, if they demonstrated trust, and allowing us to walk in the halls without a pass exemplifies that.

(In other words she can avoid references to studies if she self reflects, or talks about things she’s seen)

imasoftov

Mon, Jan 01 2018, 10:42 am

amother wrote:

We'd have to hear the assignment she was given, not the one you would have.