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Forum -> Children's Health -> Toilet Training
DS refuses to do #2



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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 5:41 am
I started training my son in August when he was 2 years 10 months. First day he had #1 accidents all morning but made in the potty all afternoon. He was dry the first night and has been dry ever since.

With #2, in the beginning the only way I could get him to do it in the potty was to put a DVD on and let him watch it sitting on the potty. Eventually, this stopped working and he asked to do #2s on the toilet although he didn't actually tell me when he needed one. He held it for 2 or 3 days, then would complain of stomach ache and I'd take him to the bathroom and eventually he'd do it. I gave him lots pf praise when he did it, stickers on a chart and he was pleased with himself.

Gradually, he's been getting worse with it. He never complains of stomach ache now, he just goes off and hides and makes a bit in his underwear, then I rush him to the bathroom and he finishes there. In the last couple of weeks he hasn't even tried to hold it and has just made in his underwear so that there is nothing left when I put him on the toilet.

There was one isolated incident 2 weeks ago when he came and told me he needed #2, we went to the bathroom and he did it in the toilet, but after that, he has been going back to doing it in his pants.

I'm really at a loss to know what to do. It's been 5 months and he's getting worse, not better. The paediatrician said to not make a big deal of it, just let him do his thing and he'll eventually get it, but as well as the fact it is really frustrating for me to be cleaning up poop all the time, I feel that I need to try a different tactic to make some progress.

Any advice?
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 5:44 am
I forgot to add that he has no problem making #1 in the toilet at home but at pre-school he refuses to go and holds it for over 4 hours.
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westchestermom




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 5:49 am
My daughter is like this. She turned 3 about 2 months ago and goes in her underwear. It's loose so she gets really upset about the mess and yells for help as soon as it comes out. I was going to try to stick it out and keep dealing with the cleanup when I'm home but my husband thinks she's just not ready so we're going back to diapers and will try again in 2 months. She seems to feel stressed out by the pressure of having to make it in time and will often ask for a diaper after several hours of consistently using the toilet for #1. I don't want to make her hate using the toilet.
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 5:58 am
Offer to put on him a diaper for #2's.
It will make him feel more secure.

My oldest DS also refused to do #2's, held it in for days. It was a fight, fight fight. We were constantly watching out for signs that he needs to go, then we would race him to the bathroom before he could hold it in (usually held it in by sitting down hard on the floor).
Eventually, with kinesiology - one-brain sessions he was comfortable sitting on the potty to do it - at age 4 he usually agreed willingly to do #2's on a potty, and only by age 7 - on the toilet.

My youngest, 6th child, also refused to do #2's in the toilet. I had learnt my lesson and asked him if he wants a diaper. He said yes. For 8 months I always put a diaper on him for #2's. In gan he wouldn't do #2's, but it wasn't a big deal for him to wait till he got home. He was only there till 1:30, and would do it in his diaper when he got home, or sometime in the afternoon/evening.
I had a prize waiting in the cupboard for when he goes in the toilet - a doll.
After 8 months, he said, "I want the doll", so I said "let's try in the toilet" - and that was that. Went to the toilet ever since (now he's 6) -
just thinking that my oldest was still sitting on the potty at this age.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 6:25 am
I've offered him a diaper but he always says no. Several times, I have put him in the diaper anyway and he still holds it for days and then doesn't make properly. It's exactly the same situation as with underwear (except clean up is easier!) so I'm thinking I should keep him in underwear which he prefers. I'd be happy if he would do it in the diaper so we could have a break from toilet training then start again from the beginning with #2 but it doesn't seem as if that would work.
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amother
Linen


 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 8:44 am
My almost 3 year old is the same. No problem with #1 in the toilet but often does #2 in his underwear.
If he's holding it in long enough that he's getting constipated, it's just going to continue the cycle because it hurts when he goes #2. Try giving him Miralax (check with your ped first of course) -its over the counter- so that he is unable to hold it in for days and although he may still go in his pants, he'll stop associating a bowel movement with pain, and will hopefully eventually go on the toilet.
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 8:53 am
I would wait a couple of months and try again. What's the rush? I assure u at his wedding he'll have it down pat. Why stress?
Some kids just aren't as mature emotionally or physically
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 10:30 am
What do you mean by wait another couple of months? Put him back in diapers full time?

He has been dry day and night for 5 months now. I'd be happy to put him back in diapers either full time or just for #2 but he dislikes wearing them and when I have insisted it has not made any difference with #2, he still holds it for days. If he was happy to make #2 in a diaper, that would obviously be the solution for now but since that's not helping I'm looking to try something else.
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amother
White


 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 10:45 am
amother wrote:
I would wait a couple of months and try again. What's the rush? I assure u at his wedding he'll have it down pat. Why stress?
Some kids just aren't as mature emotionally or physically


Because it's super stressful!

I have a 4!!! year old who won't do #2 in the toilet. She knows when she needs to go and asks for a diaper. It is disgusting. But she downright refuses to do it in the toilet. We can bribe, beg, and let her watch videos on our phones while she is on the toilet, but she just refuses to do it. I think it's an anxiety thing. She doesn't have #1 accidents, and is fine at school.

In her case, we tried to train her at 2.75 and she was totally not ready, and then a few months later we were told not to train her, as she was going to have major surgery on her leg and it would be rough if she was toilet trained. So we could only start again when she was close to 4.
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enjoying kids




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 11:39 am
I have had experience with this, I think it's better to offer a diaper when he needs than to force/bribe-force the toilet and have him start holding in, then you will have 2 problems to deal with. Just keep talking up the toilet and encouraging e.g. big boys use toilets, one day he will be ready and I promise he will not go to the chuppa in a diaper, also his morah did not need to know about it
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 2:33 pm
enjoying kids wrote:
I have had experience with this, I think it's better to offer a diaper when he needs than to force/bribe-force the toilet and have him start holding in, then you will have 2 problems to deal with. Just keep talking up the toilet and encouraging e.g. big boys use toilets, one day he will be ready and I promise he will not go to the chuppa in a diaper, also his morah did not need to know about it


He does not want a diaper! He still holds it in with a diaper the same as he does with underwear.
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miami85




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 01 2018, 6:07 pm
Try Constipation Ease by Mommies Bliss, helped my kids.
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Tue, Jan 02 2018, 8:51 am
a professional advised me:
when you know child needs-
seat him on a potty. the low down squat position helps him let go.
let him blow bubbles as a distraction. the blowing means he can't hold it in.
these 2 really helped my boy who was afraid. after he went 3 or 4 times and I sung and clapped etc....he got more used to it.
obviously plenty of fluids and fruit to keep things moving.
hope this helps
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