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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Any suggestion for books on parenting



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zkalan




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 27 2005, 11:27 am
My Husband and I are new parents almost 4 months now, and we've been thinking (mostly me) how to bring up our child, and other children in the future Y"H. And although in theory it seems easy, e.g. just say no or time-out when the time comes, I'm still worried about the proper upbringing of our baby, and I really do not want to "screw him up".
My question here is do you have any suggestions for books on proper Jewish parenting, I know there are a lot of them out there, but which ones are actually good, meaning makes sense, practical, and work?
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1stimer




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 27 2005, 11:31 am
Planting and Building by Rabbi Wolbe, zt'l (he was niftar yesterday)
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 27 2005, 11:36 am
take a look at this thread:

http://www.imamother.com/forum.....t=199

and this:

In Rabbi Eliyohu Goldschmidt's wonderful books (highly recommended) "Dear Daughter" and "Dear Son", he humbly writes that he does not present his marital advice as authoritative, as the final word, that he is sure that others may have variations about how to achieve shalom bayis. There is only ONE thing that he is willing to take an authoritative postion on, and that is the unequivocal prohibition of fighting in the presence of children.

He writes that a couple came to ask his advice. They had just had their first child and they wanted to know the key to bringing him up correctly. They were ready to do anything, but they wanted Rabbi G. to boil it down to the single most impt. piece of advice. In a nutshell, they wanted to know, what is the key to successful parenting.

Rabbi G. answered, "If you want to make sure your child grows up happy and fulfilled, you will both assume the most solemn commitment to provide your child with a harmonious environment and never, ever, under any circumstances, to have a fight or argument in his presence or earshot."

"In order for him [the child] to blossom and develop as he shold, he needs the security of growing up in a home in which peace and harmony reign supreme.

"Nothing can be more detrimental to a child's development than seeing discord between his parents, nothing can be more painful, more devastating to his emotional well-being... That, in a nutshell, is the key to successful child-rearing."
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zkalan




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 27 2005, 11:41 am
Thank you so much.
for some reasons when I ran a search for parenting books I didn't get that, I probably just missed it.
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Yael




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 03 2005, 9:53 pm
"love is not enough"
I really like that book.
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Rivk




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, May 03 2005, 10:00 pm
More Effective Jewish Parenting - by Miriam Levi
To Kindle a Soul - by Lawrence Keleman
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Rivkie81




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 04 2005, 12:14 pm
A great series of books are the books by Faber and Mazlish. There are a bunch of them, one was mentioned in the other thread on parenting book: How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Listen so Kids will Talk, Siblings without Rivalry etc. They are not frum but the methods were taking from Chaim Ginott who was Jewish. They have some great techniques. My parents have used them a lot and found them to be very successful.
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meesi




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 07 2005, 10:06 pm
I loved the book, "The Blessing of a Skinned Knee", by Dr. Wendy Mogel. The subtitle of the book is "Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children". I also found the Faber and Mazlish books excellent

Chana
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IndyMom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 08 2005, 12:19 am
Wow Motek, I totally disagree with that book.

My husband and I never fight, but sometimes we disagree and argue a little in front of the kids, then we make up in front of the kids and they see that it is ok to express your emotions as long as you do so in a productive way and then go back to normal afterwards. I can't think of anything worse than not showing your children real emotions and always faking happiness. Let them see real happiness, and a little bit of real discord and how that gets cleared up.

I can udnerstand silly bickering to not be done in front of kids, but constructive arguments can be a real learning tool for them.
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Rivk




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 08 2005, 6:42 am
I just read "Parenting with Love and Logic" by Foster Cline and Jim Fay and I found it to be a real eye opener. I highly reccomend it!
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 08 2005, 4:13 pm
IndyMom - I hear what you're saying (there's a whole thread on the subject: http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....7d632) but considering that the author was a beloved marriage counselor who brought about shalom among numerous couples, I, for one, won't dismiss the ONE RULE he is willing to take an unequivocal stand on.

I am puzzled by what you wrote about faking as Rabbi Goldschmidt wrote nothing that advocated faking. Just because you don't share your emotions, doesn't mean you're faking!

For example, in the positive sense - a woman might be ecstatic that she's pregnant, but she doesn't tell anyone. Would you say that's an awful thing she's doing, not showing her real emotion and faking calm?
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