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Forum -> Parenting our children
What helps you parent with joy and generous love



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thegiver




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 28 2018, 10:07 pm
When im tired or burned out which seems more often than id like I would like not to snap at my kids and make conditions threats or yell when they make a mess hit me or hurt each other etc

What helps u parent with joy? (Cant afford help atm)
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amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Sun, Jan 28 2018, 10:38 pm
What makes you think the goal is to parent with joy when your kids make a mess and hurt each other?
Parent with love, yes.

I have little kids, so what helps me is to remember that they're not trying to hurt me or upset me; they have good intentions. My goal is simply to keep calm. If that means I have to leave the room for a few minutes, or if I have to bring my child to his room, that's what it takes.
I'm thinking about a messy, stressful afternoon. What I would try to do is make it fun to clean up/take a bath/you name it, perhaps by racing my child, or turning into a boogie monster that's gonna get you, using a squeaky voice...
Basically, I try to use my negative energy in a fun, positive way.

If a child is whining or tantruming, I try to validate, and then distract.

You don't need expensive help. Just one or two good books can make a huge difference.
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Beingreal




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 28 2018, 11:10 pm
It makes me parent with joy that no matter what mistakes I may make my kids love me no matter what. And since I feel that I have such love for them. Yes, days are hard and rough and my heart breaks when I snap at them.
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zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 29 2018, 10:59 am
Take a break. Put on a video and give yourself a time out. Get enough sleep. My level of tolerance is higher if I am not tired
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 29 2018, 11:01 am
We snap when we feel powerless.

The more we know about what we can control, and what doesn't matter, the calmer we feel, and the easier it is to stay patient and feel joy.

Try to see each challenge as a test, an opportunity Hashem sends us to grow.
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tweety1




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 29 2018, 11:02 am
amother wrote:
What makes you think the goal is to parent with joy when your kids make a mess and hurt each other?
Parent with love, yes.

I have little kids, so what helps me is to remember that they're not trying to hurt me or upset me; they have good intentions. My goal is simply to keep calm. If that means I have to leave the room for a few minutes, or if I have to bring my child to his room, that's what it takes.
I'm thinking about a messy, stressful afternoon. What I would try to do is make it fun to clean up/take a bath/you name it, perhaps by racing my child, or turning into a boogie monster that's gonna get you, using a squeaky voice...
Basically, I try to use my negative energy in a fun, positive way.

If a child is whining or tantruming, I try to validate, and then distract.

You don't need expensive help. Just one or two good books can make a huge difference.

Don't wanna be rude, but in regards to a previous thread, trying to understand why would somebody post this as "amother" rather than her screen name??
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unexpected




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jan 29 2018, 11:42 am
Take a nap. Then parent with love and joy. I don't know about anyone else but I have never been able to do anything with love and joy when I'm too tired to love it or enjoy it
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