Feeling guilty throwing out their toys but...

amother

Orange

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 9:16 pm

I have a totally different view on this. Isn't it unfair for ur kids to be 'punished' bc of a younger sibling?
I remember when I was quite young and I had to do certain things or not do something bc of the baby , I felt very very resentful. I remember when I was 14 and my mother got pregnant, I Was very upset, I felt like there are a lot of consequences for me when she has this child, she should have asked me first. It just seemed so unfair then

seeker

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 9:28 pm

Didn't read all responses, but I have a variation on the garbage theme: Anything not cleaned up properly gets put away in the top of my closet for a week. They do the fussing and feel the consequence when it happens, but it's not hard to stay firm on that, and the results are not permanent. The whole toy would go away, not the isolated piece of playmobil, that would be meaningless. Secret: If they don't even miss the toy, I don't bother bringing it back out after a week. But it's there. If they are really not getting value out of their toys, I encourage them to find something to get rid of when they want to get something new. We try to find someone to hand them down to. Some years we've had a community toy swap, that was an amazing incentive to get rid of less-appreciated playthings.

amother

Beige

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 9:44 pm

I tell my kids that we have to get rid of stuff, and they help me choose what goes into the garbage bag. We discuss exactly what they want to save, what they don’t play with, and what broke. We also go through the books every once in a while and I tell them to choose some favorites and we give away / throw out the rest. But it’s nonnegotiable, I just involve them in the process and let them choose. I think it’s great life skills, and I don’t feel sly trashing their things behind their backs. Things with small pieces I’ll take away and put high up, to be played with when baby isn’t around and I get a commitment that all pieces will go back in. My mom through out lots of stuff behind my back when I was little, and I don’t have any residual trauma, but I still don’t like that parenting style. I like the “team” style better.

miami85

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 10:09 pm

I feel the same way with my kids' legos--just tonight I was thinking they don;t even know to appreciate how painstakingly I go through the shmutz making sure I dont throw out any legos, sometimes I wonder why I bother, but I acknowledge how expensive lego pieces are and I'd feel terrible if I were the cause of them missing a piece to their sets. One time I got fed up so I put their box of legos away for 2 weeks which allowed me time to collect all the random lego pieces around without creating new messes and in that time they rediscovered other toys and after the time-out they were more careful in general.

amother

Cyan

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 11:00 pm

Op here

So ideally try to filter out the good toys to keep and broken/unusable pieces of sets but its sooo time consuming especially since they dump out their LEGO box 2-3x a day! I also have some boxes of playmobil I stored away a year ago and ds doesn’t ever ask for it. He has like 20 sets it’s really too many! He doesn’t know how to build it so the pieces just lay in their boxes, sets partially built and partially lost.

I won’t throw out entire sets just random pieces I find that I can’t match up to anything. I’ll keep the sets I put away for when he’s a bit older wontthrow those away.

ra_mom

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 11:05 pm

I gave away the playmobil. When the kids wanted a new large toy for afikomen I said only on the condition that we give the playmobil away. It wasn't something they were so into anyway past the newness stage, as you mentioned too.

amother

Blush

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 11:15 pm

So I told my kids a while ago that whatever stays on the floor will be thrown out. they love playing with cards. so they would unpack our 2 sets of memory game and I would find it all over the place (2 of them are too young to play properly and most of the cards were torn already) so I started throwing them out.

Ah, finally cleanup was a lot easier without cards all over the place.

What do you know? a week later my mil got us a gift (mil never buys kids anything, this is the second time in 6 yrs her gifting us with the same game from amazing savings!)

3 wks later my mom got my daughter a birthday gift- yup- the identical OTHER memory game.

WE ARE BACK TO CARDS ALL OVER THE PLACE!

amother

Khaki

Sun, Jan 28 2018, 11:22 pm

amother wrote:

Cards are one of those inexpensive items that are not worth the mess. Just throw em out. We have just one set of cards that the kids love so much that they're careful to put away since they don't want to lose sets. The rest just aren't worth having around.

AlwaysThinking

Mon, Jan 29 2018, 3:25 am

I apologize in advance that I haven't had time to read all responses, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating something.

I'm very angry still about the things my parents took away or threw away!

I advise you have a big box where you put loose ends that you find, and give the kids a job of either putting it away in the right place, or say you'll have to keep it somewhere up high and they'll have to ask for it back when they want it.

Are your toys well organized to begin with? Sometimes it's hard not to make a mess if there isn't an existing system in place.

With little babies, toys with small parts should only be used under supervision and at a high up table, and even then I'd be careful. Explaining that small parts can't stay out for a good reason is different than deliberately chucking stuff out all the time.

Also, if they keep seeing stuff in the garbage it will be a constant negative interaction with you - that could really color heir relationship with you over time.

Oh, and if you have any toys with tiny magnets - throw them out IMMEDIATELY. I have heard too many stories of babies being terribly injured from swallowing magnets - they're really dangerous. One miraculous story recently where they managed to get the magnets out without damage, but it involved general anesthesia and a hospital stay.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Jan 29 2018, 10:28 am

Here is what I learned about small toys and legos,

Do not throw out and then buy a whole new set the next month in hopes that this will be the set your kids are actually going to keep together!

Do not organize your kids toys unless its something important to you like :Shared family board games etc. Unless you like playing with lego, why bother organizing their sets? I think they like the randomness and creativity it can foster.

That said, your kids should have a simple way of cleaning up.Just make sure after they play to put it all back in a bin and check to see that there are no stray pieces left within the babies reach.

And the next time you are in target and your kids look at you imploringly as they gaze at the latest lego/ playmobile just remind them that as soon as they start organizing and keeping their sets together then you will consider buying another small toy.

amother

Turquoise

Mon, Jan 29 2018, 1:56 pm

I can't read all the posts in this thread. I just want to say that as someone who survived an abusive childhood, the threat that she would throw out all my toys was an aspect of my childhood that I consider very painful.

And I think expecting your kids to keep it off the floor is totally unrealistic. If safety is an issue, put it away for a while, but throwing your child's toys into the garbage shows no respect for your child.

Would you like it if someone came and threw out your favorite kitchen items if you didn't clean up properly?

creditcards

Mon, Jan 29 2018, 3:04 pm

I would never throw out toys because my kids left them on the floor. I only throw out toys if I really believe it's garbage...my kids tend to hold onto every single arts and crafts they make in school and every tag they tore off from a new dress...