Bed Wetting by almost 6 year old

amother

Fri, Aug 24 2007, 11:43 am

My 5 1/2 child wets her bed a few times a night! I don't know what to do. Till now we have let her sleep in pullups but she is getting so big that we decided to crack down. We figured that without the crutch of a pullup she would learn how to keep dry at night. My younger child is dry at night. It hasn't been working. I am changing the linen (including blankets) a few times a night!

There is a history of bedwetting in my family. I had 2 siblings who wet their beds consistently - one even when they went to sleepaway camp with the problem. I guess that eventually they outgrew it.

Of course we limit drinks before bedtime. We also make sure that the toilet is used before bed.

I have tried waking her multiple times in the night. She is sleeping so deeply that even if I place her on the toilet, she doesn't go. She just sits there and talks in her sleep. Then a few minutes or hours later she gets woken up by her own wet urine.

Seems like waking her up isn't doing the trick. Should I just let her sleep in pullups ongoing (she still fits into to them)? She feels bad that she wets her bed and I don't want her to feel like a baby - especially if its not her fault.

Any ideas?

mummiedearest

Fri, Aug 24 2007, 12:10 pm

bed wetting can be a medical condition. (nothing serious, I don't want to scare you) I suggest you take her to the doctor just to see if there's anything that can be done. if you have a history of bed wetting in your family, she may have inherited it. I know a family in which the kids wear pull ups to bed until they're 12 or so. sorry, I don't want to dampen your spirits or anything, but it's something you should look into. if the pull ups prevent you from linen-changing constantly, maybe you should let her use them until she sees a doctor.

amother

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 12:18 am

Please tell me more about using chiropractic for bedwetting... my son is 10.5 and still wets as often as not. He changes his own sheets etc. but I still do the laundry.... would rather not! Also, he really wants to stop. He is an incredibly deep sleeper, which I think is a big reason he just doesn't wake up to his body's cues.

(I have an older child who wet until about 5 or 6 but I was able to wake her and/or carry her to the bathroom in the middle of the night, and then she outgrew the need for help. I also have a younger child who has never needed "nighttime underwear" since being toilet trained at age 3.)

Also, if anyone has had experience with the CDs of self-hypnosis stories they sell for kids who wet the bed, I'd like to hear whether they worked for you.

Thanks!

su7kids

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 12:23 am

I took my son to a chiropractor. He did more than just chiropractic, also did some sort of "emotional" work. Turned out there was something that was bothering him, but the chiro said that some kids have a slight adjustment needed on their spine.

Its worth a look.

No kid does it on purpose and punishment doesn't help at all.

I read a book about bedwetting and one of the things they said is to give the kid calcium, it helps relax the muscles so they can stretch (bladder muscles) and also then to help them stretch the bladder during the day by having them pee and stop and pee and stop and pee and stop until its all done.

Also, help them to be sure to empty completely during the day, it helps the bladder to work properly.

That's after you've ruled out any physical problems.

rainbow

Sun, Aug 26 2007, 12:25 am

OP, I apologize ahead of time if my response to your post is harsh.

Children who bedwet are not doing it intentionally and here's my personal opinion: A child who is made to wake up a few times a night, who is made to sleep without a pull-up so that she 'learns' not to wet her bed, a child who may be denied a drink in the evening lest she wet her bed...
I imagine all the above are affecting her more adversely than had she just had the pull-up.

I myself have wet my bed until I entered high school. It was my mother's changing my linen, waking me at night, not letting me drink, etc. that harmed me a lot more than had she simply allowed me to have the pull-up for as long as I needed.

As a result of my own experience growing up I have allowed my dd to use a pull-up for as long as she felt she needed it. When she was about 8 or nine years old she decided she is too big for a pull-up. So she on her own limited her drinks at night. And she on her own got up in the middle of the night to use the toilet. She was self-motivated and I think that's what happens when the parent stays out of it.

I think all the steps you are taking to help your dd stop wetting the bed are not helping anyway, and negatively affecting her self-esteem and your personal relationship with her.

If I were you I would have a gentle talk with my dd and tell her that it's ok that she wets her bed, that she need not be ashamed of it, that Mommy did it too and that lots of other kids her age do it, and that here's a bag of pull-ups for you to use so that when you wake up your bed is nice and dry and you dear sweetie-pie will have a more restful sleep. Kiss kiss hug hug. I love you whether you are wet or dry.

There is an excellent book for kids. My son read it when he was ready to stop wearing pull-ups. He was self-motivated at age 9-10 (by this age most kids, if they've not been nagged too much, are self-motivated to help themselves). My son used the book to help him achieve dry nights.
My now-seven year old has read the book, she so badly wants to have dry nights, but it has not helped her yet. I believe it will help her when her body is mature enough to handle it. The book is 'Dry All Night'. It's hard to find but worth your search.
I would not recommend you offer it to your 5-year-old now as you've already nagged her too much at this point (by waking her at night, and limiting drinks and in general giving the 'problem' too much of your attention). The book has a part for parents so you may find it helpful.

Much hatzlacha to you!

amother

Thu, Aug 30 2007, 12:25 pm

I am the original OP.

As such I appreciate your comments and suggestions. I never heard of a chiropractor for these issues... interesting.

As for the person who feels that I am damaging my child by nagging, withholding drinks and waking her in the night etc: My child will be 6 shortly. We have NEVER made her sleep without a pullup till last week- since she was always wet. Because it is between camp and school and there are fewer pressures, we figured we would give it a go.

You see because the older one always sleeps with a pullup, our 3 year old did as well. And you know what, the 3 year old's pullup was usually wet - and you know why - because she didn't have to bother.... Now that we have put both into underwear at night, the 3 year old is dry while the 5 and 1/2 year old is not. This shows us that a little learning isn't a bad thing. Should we have assumed that the 3 year old should wear pullups ongoing too just because she was always wet??? Obviously a little learning goes a long way.

Now I do believe that there are some things that are learned in life and I am sure that you do too. Think back to other physical hurdles that your child achieved from crawling and walking to learning how to jump rope. Would your child learn if you never made them try???? If you just put your 1 year old on their feet and and said GO, would they be able to walk? Of course, you only make them try at an age appropriate time, but we always try to give our children the tools they need to progress.

This has been a very good evaluation period for us in seeing what can be done. I am not sorry that we have embarked on this. If nothing else, an awarenes has dawned on the child that an effort can be made.

If we see that after giving it a good few weeks shot that the child still cannot sense the need to go or hold it in (as was the case with 2 of my siblings), we will re-evaluate and possibly revert to pullups.

Till then. Thank you for all the advice.

amother

Thu, Aug 30 2007, 1:26 pm

Anon to prevent the embarassment of my siblings.
My older sister, younger brother, and younger sister all had a hard time being dry all night.

What worked: (Well, my littlest sister is still in pull-ups at night- she's 8)
The book Dry All Night, suggested by Rainbow was very good. I even loved it and I didn't have bed-wetting problems.

Practicing keggles during the day.
When we had to go to the bathroom during the day, my mother would say "Do a kegel. Hold it in as long as you can. That way you increase your bladder size." We'd have competitions who could "pee for the longest"- we'd count while we pee, and because the longer you hold it in, the longer you pee for, it ended up really increasing our bladder size. ("I had a 25 pish just now!!!")

There was a buzzer that two of my siblings used because they were such deep sleepers that they wouldn't even really wake up all the way when they wet the bed. So the buzzer attached to the underwear, and the second it got a tinsy drop wet, it would go BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP and wake up the kid. That way the kid learned to wake up from the tiniest little bit of pish, and learned to associate pishing with waking up.

I'm not sure which thing worked best, but it worked. My older sister and younger brother are now both adults with no pishing in the bed problems.