Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> The Imamother Writing Club
Poem - flightless



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Sun, Feb 25 2018, 10:13 pm
She stared at the ground,
eyes wide
There it was.
A mass of rumpled, velvety feathers
The angle looked all wrong,
distorted somehow.
Like a paper bag collapsed
in on itself.
The tiny beak opened slightly
In an almost cry.
Two liquid eyes beamed pain
from their small depths
Meeting hers
for just a moment
She bowed her head,
turning away.

It was too late for the little bird.
For you see,
it had tried to fly
And it had broken
its wings
Back to top

amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Sun, Feb 25 2018, 10:47 pm
Thoughts?
Back to top

amother
Orchid


 

Post Mon, Feb 26 2018, 1:47 am
Such a sad poem. Concise and beautifully written. What does it represent for you?
Back to top

amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Mon, Feb 26 2018, 2:25 am
amother wrote:
Such a sad poem. Concise and beautifully written. What does it represent for you?

Thanks. It's kind of me looking at myself broken on the ground. Trying to fly = be competent in life, and failing miserably.
Back to top

amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Mon, Feb 26 2018, 2:39 am
Oof gozal
Chatoch et hashayim
Tus l'an
She ba lecha
Rak al tishkach
Yesh nesher bashamayim
Gur lecha.
Back to top

amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Mon, Feb 26 2018, 2:44 am
Puts a whole new spin on the chorus from Arik Einshtein's famous song

Listen here from about 1.05 mark

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ez1e2VPsRFw

Oh and "nesher" is eagle not vulture
Back to top

amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Mon, Feb 26 2018, 2:45 am
amother wrote:
Oof gozal
Chatoch et hashayim
Tus l'an
She ba lecha
Rak al tishkach
Yesh nesher bashamayim
Gur lecha.

Another bird, another parable...what are you trying to say?
Back to top

amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Mon, Feb 26 2018, 2:46 am
amother wrote:
Another bird, another parable...what are you trying to say?


Remember there is an "eagle" (Hashem) in heaven. Then you can fly.
Back to top

amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Mon, Feb 26 2018, 2:49 am
amother wrote:
Puts a whole new spin on the chorus from Arik Einshtein's famous song

Listen here from about 1.05 mark

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ez1e2VPsRFw

Oh and "nesher" is eagle not vulture

I listened. Thanks for sharing, it's a beautiful song.
Back to top

amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Mon, Feb 26 2018, 2:52 am
amother wrote:
Remember there is an "eagle" (Hashem) in heaven. Then you can fly.

Interesting! I thought the lyrics were cautioning the chick to beware the predators that might snatch it.

I like your perspective. Sometimes it still feels like a crushing defeat, though...
Back to top

amother
Saddlebrown


 

Post Mon, Feb 26 2018, 4:16 am
When I read your poem my immediate reaction was the chorus (with my different interpretation) (but not the verses) of that song.

Someone who knows Hebrew better than me may find my interpretation makes no sense, but I say Shira is poetry and you can read it however you want.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> The Imamother Writing Club

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Purim poem help
by amother
9 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 3:32 pm View last post
Purim poem help
by amother
3 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:58 pm View last post
Help with a poem
by amother
9 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:42 pm View last post
Soldier poem
by amother
2 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:26 pm View last post
Zoo theme help and poem
by amother
6 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 4:45 pm View last post