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Saying "thank you for your service" to army veteran



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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 12:52 pm
So, I was at a professional event, and during lunch, we were having a random conversation about traffic stops. One woman related an anecdote and said "It happened when I was stationed in Indiana." I turned and said "oh, you served?" and she said "Yes, I was in the army medical corps as a nurse for seven years." I said "Wow, thank you for your service. I never knew that about you." Another woman there commented to me privately that she thought it was weird for me to say "thank you for your service," that only other veterans say that to each other. I thought it was something acceptable to say.

Anyone with any insight?
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 12:54 pm
Interesting. I never knew that. What should we say?
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 12:55 pm
PinkFridge wrote:
Interesting. I never knew that. What should we say?


I don't know! I thought that's what you say....... I was honestly impressed - I've known this woman professionally for a while, and I never knew she was in the army, so I was just reacting to hearing that about her.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 1:00 pm
I always thought it was the opposite. You thank someone if you haven't served. It would be weird for one vet to say it to another.

*saying this as someone who has served
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Mommyg8




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 1:05 pm
debsey wrote:
So, I was at a professional event, and during lunch, we were having a random conversation about traffic stops. One woman related an anecdote and said "It happened when I was stationed in Indiana." I turned and said "oh, you served?" and she said "Yes, I was in the army medical corps as a nurse for seven years." I said "Wow, thank you for your service. I never knew that about you." Another woman there commented to me privately that she thought it was weird for me to say "thank you for your service," that only other veterans say that to each other. I thought it was something acceptable to say.

Anyone with any insight?


My only exposure to this is on talk radio, and I always hear radio show hosts saying "thank you for your service".

And I'm very impressed that you said that.
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 1:06 pm
I have a friend from childhood, who is no longer frum and is in the navy for many years. She actually recently posted about this on fb, saying she does not like to be thanked for her service , especially if she's off duty/on the way home or during errands.
Im not sure I understood all of her reasons, and I'm sure many other service members do appreciate it. But it's not unheard of.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 1:43 pm
My dad served in Viet Nam. He has mixed feelings about this.

On one hand, he remembers how horribly he was treated when he returned home, and how others had the same experience. To finally be thanked can be validating.

On the other hand, it's triggering for my dad. He doesn't like to be reminded of his time there, and won't talk about it. If someone says thank you to him he will be gracious and say "you're welcome", but he cringes inside.

There's really no way to predict in advance how any veteran is going to feel about being thanked. It's tricky, so proceed with caution - especially if they've seen combat or other potentially traumatic situations (like being a field nurse).

IMHO, the best way to thank a veteran or active service person is to listen if they want to talk, and be sensitive if they avoid the subject. Like anyone else, sometimes they just want to talk about thier kids or thier dog, and don't want their service to define them.
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debsey




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 3:27 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
My dad served in Viet Nam. He has mixed feelings about this.

On one hand, he remembers how horribly he was treated when he returned home, and how others had the same experience. To finally be thanked can be validating.

On the other hand, it's triggering for my dad. He doesn't like to be reminded of his time there, and won't talk about it. If someone says thank you to him he will be gracious and say "you're welcome", but he cringes inside.

There's really no way to predict in advance how any veteran is going to feel about being thanked. It's tricky, so proceed with caution - especially if they've seen combat or other potentially traumatic situations (like being a field nurse).

IMHO, the best way to thank a veteran or active service person is to listen if they want to talk, and be sensitive if they avoid the subject. Like anyone else, sometimes they just want to talk about thier kids or thier dog, and don't want their service to define them.


I hear. She brought it up, so I'm assuming it's something she talks about. I mean, how else to respond when someone says "I was in the army for 7 years"? what's the polite thing to say?
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 3:31 pm
I would maybe say plain thank you, without the “for your service”
But that’s only because I’m reading here that some don’t like it.
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DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 3:53 pm
I think your comment was lovely. "Thank you for your service" is a very normal, polite, kind response to hearing someone was in the military.

I worked for a bit on an army base (not in the military, as a civilian). I heard people make comments like these towards the service men and women a lot.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 5:03 pm
As far as I know that was the correct thing to say. I even say it to police officers and emergency personnel.
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PinkFridge




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 5:28 pm
I would only to say it to someone who brought it up or is in uniform.
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amother
Apricot


 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 6:11 pm
I also work for the navy as a civilian and all my colleagues are in active duty. I definitely think what you said was appropriate and that the woman was definitely wrong in telling you that.
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Water Stones




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 6:40 pm
I've heard my fil say it to a customer who I saw he appreciated it.
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OutATowner




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 6:48 pm
I consulted with a friend who is an army family and dh, who's grandfather spoke about it a lot. Very nice, appropriate thing to say.
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alis_al_kulana




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 05 2018, 7:29 pm
Sometimes I see people in wal mart wearing shurts that say I served. I always thank them for their service
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