What is my purpose in life? Feel so unfulfilled.

amother

Dodgerblue

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 9:57 pm

Obviously we dont know our purpose in life but im feeling really "purposeless" meaning that all I do is do. Do do...for everyone but nobody considers it important. What I mean is that I spend all my time doing for my family but everyone around me makes me feel like it is not chesed. I work for my family else I would take a more flexivle less stressful job. When I am home I do everything for my spouse and kids to make sure they have a clean house. Clean clothes food etc..

My kids complain so they are too young to be grateful and my dh takes advantage that ill keep doung everything so he just expects and doesnt really support me. I know im doing so much even if it is just for my family. It is still a chesed but then my sibilings and inlaws/parents will make me feel bad saying im not doing ____ for them. As if I have time to do for everyone. I know my limits and I cant "be there " for my other relatives bc im doing so much already. Isnt my job my kids and spouse now, not my parents/inlaws/sibilings etc....???

So I know im doing everything for my kids and spouse but since nobody appreciates it and since other relatives constantly expect more from me, I feel unfulfilled as if im doing wrong and as if I have no purpose.

All I do everyday is do. Do do the work never ends but what is the purpose of it all??? Why is being a mom and dad(bc I work full time so im like the "dad" too) not "good enough"??? Why is my duties to my kids and spouse not enough for everyone??? If it is not enough, then im living without purpose ACCORDING TO THEM but deep down I know the purpose is "I do it for my kuds/spouse" why do no outsiders acknowledge these duties ???why do they always expect more??

thunderstorm

Tue, Mar 06 2018, 10:13 pm

amother wrote:

Who is "they" (always expect more)?
You seem to be fulfilling lots of things!

momnaturally

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 7:34 am

I think you know the purpose quite well you said it yourself. It is just hard because you don't feel appreciated or are you doubting yourself because they don't appreciate you ?
I do the following 2 things.
1. I Encourage my children and Dh to appreciate me. When I don't get compliments and thanks I fish for it.
Who liked supper ? You glad that your favorite shirt is all nice and clean again ?
(It's good for them too besides me to appreciate. I teach them Hakaros Hatov)
2. I work on seeking Hashems approval not people's appreciation. Make Hashem more real in my life and draw satisfaction knowing that I am making Him happy.

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Mar 07 2018, 9:20 am

You sound like you're doing amazing. I wish I were doing as much as you.

Yes, life is hard and we can feel purposeless. Do you have friends or a social life? That helps. Taking time for yourself to do the things you like can also help. If no one rewards you, reward yourself in that way. A little bit of these things here and there can help pull us along.

I like the suggesting of fishing for and prompting thanks from your family. I agree it's good chinuch. Eventually they may even start doing it on their own.