Keeping on track with my life goals

amother

Saddlebrown

Sat, Mar 10 2018, 7:03 pm

Hi guys
Growing up with a somewhat dysfunctional upbringing, I had my future planned out since I was young. I will be the most tuned in mom to my kids. I will be the best wife basically everything I did not see at home. I married the most stable romantic man and in beginign things were tough. I did not know how to be the best wife I thought I could. Intimacy was a struggle, every reasonable request of his I interpreted as an abusive demand as I saw at home. I acted like a stubborn unavailable wife but I kept trying my best and bH were doing great now . Than came my oldest I was obsessed with. Did everything the books said to do. Than came along the next few kids and I stopped being the book mom but still very warm and loving with no boundries. All these years I was employed in a part time and doing a great job. Year ago I was promoted to run as a manager in my own branch. Work than became my life I thrive there . I breath and live work . And then I get my days like shabbes or first thing in morning where it hits me hard when I think hey where has my life gone too?? Im not coping with house work... not being the best wife and mom. I think work is a way of numbing up my life. I don't have to work on myself to succeed there but home it's a lot of work which doesn't come natural to me. Example cooking nutritional meals daily, sitting dinner with my DH. No one would know this about me as I'm a successful woman on outside. I don't wanna look back at my life in years time and think where have I been all these years... any advice??desperate

ellacoe

Sat, Mar 10 2018, 7:58 pm

There is an exercise I use that has several steps. The steps build on one another and it is better to do them one at a time without knowing what the next step is.

Step back and think about your life and your priorities. (Your priorities today, not what you decided years ago.) Make a list of the up to 8-10 areas that are important to you. I.e children (your role as a mother), parents (role as a daughter), relationship with husband (wife), career, finances, spirituality, chesed (just examples) Take time making the list, sit with it. Once you have the list break it up in to priorities, of what is important to you, meaning put them in order of 1-1-8 or 10 or what ever number you come up with, one being the most important.

Once you're ready to step two let me know. You can also PM if you need more info

Last edited by ellacoe on Sat, Mar 10 2018, 8:58 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Seagreen

Sat, Mar 10 2018, 8:36 pm

The past is water under the bridge. What would give you a sense of contentment today? Tomorrow?
Is it a better relationship with yourself? With dh?
Once you are clear what you want, you figure out how to get it.
Main thing is focus. Take a break from distractions and focus on your goal. If it's worth having , it's worth investing in it. Investing emotionally, financially, and time.

amother

Saddlebrown

Sun, Mar 11 2018, 5:28 am

[quote="ellacoe"]There is an exercise I use that has several steps. The steps build on one another and it is better to do them one at a time without knowing what the next step is.

Step back and think about your life and your priorities. (Your priorities today, not what you decided years ago.) Make a list of the up to 8-10 areas that are important to you. I.e children (your role as a mother), parents (role as a daughter), relationship with husband (wife), career, finances, spirituality, chesed (just examples) Take time making the list, sit with it. Once you have the list break it up in to priorities, of what is important to you, meaning put them in order of 1-1-8 or 10 or what ever number you come up with, one being the most important.

OP here, Thanks so much I will sit down now this morning and will PM you my list. I'd love a support in this..