Kid hid my DS's belongings

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Jetblack

Wed, Mar 14 2018, 11:50 am

How would you handle this? My DH went last night to pick up my DS from yeshiva after night Seder and he wasn't waiting for him as usual. After 15 minutes of waiting he finally found him. It turns out DS was searching for a classmate that angrily took my DS's suit jacket, hat and winter coat and put it somewhere so my DS can't find it. The boy and him got into an argument and that was the way this boy was punishing my DS. My DH drove to the home of that boy last night . He was not home and neither were his parents. Today my DS went to school without his stuff.
How would you handle this? This is over $500 worth of stuff.
Get involved? Involve kids parents? Involve the hanhala of the Mesivta ? Or let the kids fight it out?

deams

Wed, Mar 14 2018, 12:08 pm

Definitely get involved. I would first talk to the school. Inform them of what happened and ask them to help get your son's belongings back. Make sure to have a conversation with your son in order to understand exactly what happened.

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Mar 14 2018, 12:16 pm

deams wrote:

Basically boy said something verbally insulting and hurtful to my DS. My DS took away a box of cigarettes from this boy (the boy probably will get into trouble for being outed that he has cigarettes. They are 14 and 15) boy grabbed my DSs stuff. The classmates were witness and all agree that the boy was out of line. At this point I really want his stuff back and not damaged. We are working on the other issue. Seems this boy is a problem kid and acts out often. The Rebbe that was there last night just told my son to go home without his stuff and to worry about it today when he gets back to school.

Chayalle

Wed, Mar 14 2018, 2:04 pm

Your DS was also out of line, reacting to a verbal insult by taking another boy's possessions, whether or not he was supposed to have them.

Of course, the boy's reaction after that is over the top....but that does not take away from the fact that your son's response was inappropriate.

amother

Jetblack

Wed, Mar 14 2018, 2:09 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Nobody said that what my DS did is ok.

Chayalle

Wed, Mar 14 2018, 2:19 pm

amother wrote:

Nobody said that what my DS did is ok.

OK, you did not mention that in your OP or followup. You only mention that the other boy was out of line, and that he is a problem kid that acts up....

amother

Copper

Wed, Mar 14 2018, 2:22 pm

It sounds like a hard situation to deal with. If that happened to my DS, I would be absolutely FUMING.

imasoftov

Wed, Mar 14 2018, 2:33 pm

amother wrote:

I'm wondering if the yeshiva taught your son that nekama and gezel are assur and the other kid that onaat devarim and gezel are assur. It can take a while for students to internalize their lessons so I wouldn't pull him out if the school tried, but I would check to see if they had, some schools send the message that bein adam lachavero doesn't really matter and often the rebbes set personal examples of that.

Last edited by imasoftov on Thu, Mar 15 2018, 5:44 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Copper

Wed, Mar 14 2018, 2:40 pm

imasoftov wrote:

some schools send the message that bein adam lamakom doesn't really matter and often the rebbes set personal examples of that.

Bein adam lamakom?

imasoftov

Thu, Mar 15 2018, 5:45 am

amother wrote:

Bein adam lamakom?

Oops. Fixed. Thanks. And again, oops.

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