6 yr old scared to sleep in own room

Tue, Mar 20 2018, 12:16 pm

Hi,

We rearranged our bedrooms recently and my almost 6 yr old daughter ended up with a room of her own, until her baby brother is old enough to be moved into there. She is scared to sleep alone and started coming to our room at night. She is right accross the hall so she can technically see us, she has a nightlight on, her door is open, etc.

Has anyone dealt with this, and if so, how? My other kids are twins so they were always together, so this is a new one.....I feel so bad that she is scared but at this point there is nobody else that could sleep with her...

Thanks!

amother

Aubergine

Tue, Mar 20 2018, 3:08 pm

It's totally normal. If the doors are anyway open, can you just put her mattress on the floor of your room for now?

Or can she hop into bed with a sibling? I know not everyone does it, but my kids bed share a lot.

amother

Chartreuse

Tue, Mar 20 2018, 3:17 pm

You should sit with her in her room until she gets used to it. Don’t let her sleep on your floor or anybody else’s bed! That would definitely not help her get used to sleeping alone!!

amother

Babypink

Tue, Mar 20 2018, 5:28 pm

Don't have any ideas but my 6 year old ds has been coming to my room nightly for 3 YEARS...claims he is scared...he is in therapy now.
Don't let it escalate to that point. Lay with her in her room and not yours.

Ps. My other 2 younger kids r fine and don't get up...its just him.

gomom!

Tue, Mar 20 2018, 7:16 pm

My daughter does the same thing she gets all annoyed how she doesn’t have anyone in her room. We leave a nightlight on in her room and door open and I just keep telling her we’re right across the hall if she needs....

naomi2

Tue, Mar 20 2018, 7:31 pm

Maybe ask her what she thinks might help. With my son, it was simple because when I asked he told me to leave the closet door open because he's scared to see it closed. Maybe a stuffed animal would help?

Wed, Mar 21 2018, 8:17 pm

THanks for your responses, everyone! I have been trying to ask her what would help, but she is not forthcoming...Her older sisters (age 11) have been coming for years already, so now it's totally "musical beds" every night and we are going nuts! Rolling Eyes

We are considering locking our door so that we would be forced to get up when someone wants to come in, and thus be awake enough to send them back to their beds.

Does anyone have any trick for how I can help the 6 yr old feel more secure? Someone told me I should say shema with her at night, or hamapil, but that didn't seem to work....

amother

Magenta

Wed, Mar 21 2018, 10:30 pm

I have no helpful ideas just want to let you know that my kids all sleep together even though they can have separate rooms. They sleep together bc they are scared to be alone and I would nit get any sleep if they are not together bc they would tell me they are scared and cry about it. Any big noise scares them and they are normal kids but at night they are scared.

Every child is different and while others judge me and tell me it is not normal, well they may have a different challenge with their children so they dont understand this.

bubble gum

Wed, Mar 21 2018, 10:42 pm

Is there room to put a mattress on the floor in the twins bedroom?
We had a similar situation with my daughter. My 3 kids (1 girl and 2 boys) were all sharing a room, and after doing construction DD was given her own room. She’s 9. She said she couldn’t sleep, it was too lonely and she kept coming into us at night. We put a mattress on the floor in my boys room and told her if she woke up during the night and couldn’t sleep, she could go sleep with the boys. We didn’t make a big deal out of it. She went in there every night for about 1-2 weeks and then it slowed down until it totally stopped. Mattress is gone and she’s sleeping happily by herself.

I would say though, that if your DD specifically says she’s scared, I would talk to her about what she is scared of exactly, validate her fears, and see how you can help her with them. Night time fears are very real for kids.