Are people basically good?

mom2u

Sat, Mar 24 2018, 11:23 pm

Yes, most people are good. When people act in a way we don't like it doesn't define them as bad even if it's hard for us to except. In any case you never know what their situation is. And sometimes when we see people doing or not doing things that seems pretty bad it's just because they're in pain or they had a bad experience doing otherwise. But in general most people are really good.

amother

Forestgreen

Sat, Mar 24 2018, 11:31 pm

momnaturally wrote:

I heard a quote from one of the Rebbes or it was one of the Twerskis
"Everyone does the best they can"
I love this line. Basically some people are very selfless and righteous and some people are really selfish or even cruel but each person is doing the best they can based on their own internal struggles and life situation.
Obviously what is someone else's "best" behavior I may want to keep far away from...but I don't need to look down at them just protect myself from them. ( If I was in their shoes with their emotional issues I may be doing the same thing as them...)

I don't know if his quote was referring to non Jews too but the mitzvah of Dan lechaf zechus I think only applies to Jews.

What do you believe "everyone is doing the best the can"? Aren't some people lazy or selfish? In a more extreme example, is the person that is having an affair really doing the best they can? Why do you believe that? There are definitely good people out there but I certainly don't think that everyone is doing there best.

momnaturally

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 12:00 am

amother wrote:

Our job is to look at everyone with a good eye. Our job is not to judge. That is Hashems job. It is not even necessarily for the benefit of others it is for our own benefit. Being a quality person is to judge ourselves and not judge others, rather just respect others.
A very simple way of not looking down and judging others is recognizing this human nature that everyone wants to do their best.
Yes even if someone is having an affair.
No that doesn't mean they should be a role model absolutely not. Their actions are terrible. But they are not terrible. They are doing their best. If they are at the point of having an affair (if we even know it for sure...) they must be a wreck emotionally. I thank Hashem I am not in the place they are emotionally and don't judge them. That doesn't mean I have to be their friend or have a relationship with them. However, I still have no right to look down at them. If I had their issues maybe I would be doing much worse...yes maybe them having an affair is the best they can do where they are at emotionally right now. Surely if they were healthier inside they would not have an affair.
Who am I to decide otherwise.
Anyone who gets emotional issues can easily understand this although if it affects someone's life personally it can be very difficult to see past their own pain.

amother

Blue

Sun, Mar 25 2018, 4:39 am

momnaturally wrote:

I think that a basic concept of emuna is that everyone has bechira. Everyone can choose to do good or evil. Their emotional level may play into their level of bechira, but that does not change that they made bad choices.

I am human, I can not see into people's hearts (thank god), and therefore, must make basic judgements in order to make sense of my life. It doesn't say "don't judge". We are told to judge favorably, with specific guidelines of when it is required.

So if someone is constantly choosing what looks evil, I may have to wait until I get to heaven to see the "upside down world", and find out who really did their best, and who didn't.

And so, my thought process goes in circles.