S/O Are you a natural homemaker or not? domestic help

amother

Navy

Sun, Apr 08 2018, 6:18 pm

cleaning help can reduce therapy bills. Smile

Look, research backs me up!!! https://www.independent.co.uk/......html

I have cleaning help 3 days a week. More at busy times like erev yom tov. (Bh my lady is flexible and can usually come when I need her more) I could do with more. When I tried to cut down to 2 days a week me and dh ended up fighting. I can't rely on him to do stuff like taking out garbage, helping me straighten up kitchen etc and I end up resentful.

I work part time from home.

honestly, I would love a fancy vacation that the money saved could buy me but that would last a week or two. Cleaning help makes me happy every day. I guess those people who love cleaning can enjoy their vacations....I just spent an hour at least cleaning up the kitchen tonight with kids help and its still messy..it doesn't come naturally to me.

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Apr 08 2018, 8:30 pm

amother wrote:

Real issues are trauma, PTSD from childhood, help with marital and parental relationships due to that, and spouse with anxiety among some other things. But I wouldn't tell you all that about my therapy even if I talk about going to therapy nonchalantly. Therapy can get someone to overcome their painful past and learn how to strengthen themselves and deal with their current situations. Cleaning help is short term and therapy is building something for long term retention.

I agree with this. At different points in my married life, I've had no cleaning help and no therapy, cleaning help and therapy, cleaning help and no therapy. Cleaning help takes a load off of me and alleviates certain stress, but it had never come close to taking the place of therapy. I never thought of it as a cheaper version of therapy, because it's completely unrelated. Therapy is deep, powerful, and long lasting.

amother

Coral

Mon, Apr 09 2018, 4:51 am

I love an organized house. im not naturally organzied but work on it. before we had kids we NEVER needed cleaning help. now we both work and have three little kids.
I feel the need to go for a run in the evening or to attend a shiur or to visit my mother for half an hour WITHOUT the kids.
so we have a babsitter three times per week. and she also helps cleaning the house. for me the babysitting is the priority! she is amazing, the kids love her she has come for several years. and she works really fast. sometimes I tell her to play lego with the kids and feed them a sandwich. and when I return after two hours kids are already bathed in pyjamas and the house was vacuum / cleaned , no dishes in sink. she says: why should I sit on the couch when the baby is asleep and the big ones play beautifully together?

sometimes I come home and nothing is done, because the kids needed her attention.

she knows the kids come first. but im always VERY grateful when some housework gets done too Wink

it IS a major help. it does feel comforting and calming for me not having to invest another 2 hours after having worked all day in scrubbing floors or washing dishes. id rather prepare my work for the next day, read a book, take a bath or listen to a shiur. there is ALWAYS work around the house. im thankful for every help.

that being said I feel responsible for my house I dont want to delegate EVERYTHING.
it very much depends.

(when I was very sick and had a long term recovery after difficult surgery I had MUCH help. almost daily for months. o we dont have sooo miuch money but there was just no other way to handle the situation. how was I supposted to take care of my little ones when I could hardly sit up? somebody had to make sandwiches, bring them to playgroop, help them with going to the bathroom, playing with them and cleaning the house...

now that I have b´´H recovered im happy I can do most of it myslef again. hkb´´H sent refueh I need to do good things with it. )