Celebrating grandparent birthdays

amother

Amber

Mon, Apr 09 2018, 7:13 pm

I voted No, but I think it’s a very nice idea. We don’t make much of a big deal about birthdays in our home (I.e. their grandparents don’t call them either. . .)

amother

Lawngreen

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 12:33 am

I voted other.

My kids usually call my parents. We are really close to them. But my in laws never. Don’t even know when their birthdays are. My kids have almost zero relationship with my in laws. They wouldn’t call. My in laws didn’t even call my husband to wish him happy birthday.

amother

Ecru

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 12:36 am

It depends how close you are and what your family's attitude is to birthdays in general. It's never wrong to wish someone a happy birthday.

DrMom

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 12:40 am

I wavered between yes, of course and yes, only because I tell them to, because some of my children are too young to do this on their own.

Otherwise, what is the issue?

seeker

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 11:17 am

My guess: OP is a grandmother trying to decide how offended she is that her grandkids didn't call her; or OP has been accused of being inconsiderate because she or her children did not call her/their grandparent.

mommyhood

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 11:27 am

My kids call my parents and grandparents because my family is 'into' birthdays and they would be highly insulted if we forgot. They are too young to remember on their own.

Dh's family doesn't generally celebrate birthdays so I've never made a point of keeping track of their birthdays.

keym

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 11:43 am

My kids send homemade birthday cards around the birthday.
I dont remember my inlaws exact birthday but I remember approx. Around sukkos time, end of school time.
They appreciate the gesture even if we dont get the date right.
Even my own mother I have a block. I cannot remember whether its the 7th or 11th and ive called on the wrong day.
Cards avoid that because you can blame the delay on mail service.

lfab

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 12:09 pm

In theory my answer would be yes, of course. In reality the answer is sometimes, when I remind them. My kids are all still fairly young so they don't know their grandparents' birthdays off hand. I try to remind them to call and say happy birthday on the day of each grandparent's birthday but I don't always remember. Sometimes I forget on the day of (even if I've been reminding myself for a few days before that we need to call on that day!). Also, if we remember enough in advance the kids will color pictures/birthday cards that we will mail to them.

animeme

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 12:12 pm

seeker wrote:

Agreed.

People are busy, and don't remember or the day flies through. One of my goals in life is to help people who tend to remember and be organized about things like this that the fact that others don't and aren't doesn't mean they don't care about them.

singleagain

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 12:52 pm

My parents always reminded us to call but only grandparents but our aunts and uncles, bc it was important to them (both parents and grandparents)

I think also many ppl, rely on FB for birthday reminders so if it's not already in their calendar they'll forget.

amother

Tan

Tue, Apr 10 2018, 5:43 pm

seeker wrote:

OP here, actually neither is correct- I am not a grandmother yet, and I have never been accused of any wrong doing in this regard. From when my children were very little I would have them call my parents or in laws on anniversaries or birthdays, however now as they are all 10+ I only strongly suggest it and let them decide on their own. My parents and in laws expect to be called on their birthdays but will not complain to me if my children do not call.
There is really no right or wrong here....I posted the poll to see how birthday calls are done/or not done in others homes. Thank you everyone who explained their poll as well.

singleagain

Wed, Apr 11 2018, 7:04 am

OP, I don't think you should concern yourself with other ppl's homes. All that matters is, that you said that your parents and in-laws expect a call on their birthdays. They might not call to complain. But I can almost promise you they will appreciate hearing from the grandkids and it will benefit the relationship.

My grandfather was just over for pesach and for every meal I brought netilat yadim to him so he wouldn't have to get up to go to the kitchen, the hug he gave me and the genuine appreciation I heard in his voice when he thanked me for such a small thing, made my day and honestly, made me feel a bit like a superhero.

flowerpower

Wed, Apr 11 2018, 2:42 pm

I don't like when people expect a phone call. It feels somehow fake. My kids never call my parents. No clue when my in laws birthdays are. We do celebrate my moms birthday lightly and for my fathers- we do something for the big ones only.

Miri7

Wed, Apr 11 2018, 4:04 pm

We call together. Some kids are old enough to do it on their own and others are not. We wait for the birthday person to answer then sing happy birthday together.

Calling for birthdays is a big deal in my DH’s family so now we do it for all our family.

On your birthday you can expect your phone to start ringing first thing in the morning!!!! It’s a nice way to start the day