How to get the money

amother

Cyan

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 6:53 am

I got a gift from my mother, $200 in check form. Dh gives me money when I need it. I asked him to cash it for me. He said he'll give it to me. But didn't. Keeps forgetting. Does anyone have any idea how I could get the message across in a way that he'll take care of it? I want to put it away for myself, not in the family budget. I'm afraid if I don't say anything it will be gone for other things.

amother

Emerald

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 7:30 am

Yikes.

How about ‘ dh if you forget to bring my money to me, I will forget to make you supper and forget to do your laundry’

Next time ask your mother for cash.

salt

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 7:32 am

Same way as you always ask for money when you need it.
Wait for a time when you don't need money, and say "DH, I need $200 - please can you give it to me"
If he forgets, keep reminding him.
Is it in his wallet already in cash? Or does it need to be retrieved from an ATM Machine?
If it's in his wallet already, just ask him if you can bring him his wallet for him to give you the money.
If it's in the bank, then as I said, same way as you always ask for money.
Good luck, and happy spending Smile

salt

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 7:33 am

amother wrote:

Yikes.

How about ‘ dh if you forget to bring my money to me, I will forget to make you supper and forget to do your laundry’

Next time asked your mother for cash.

Emerald mother, our responses crossed, but I like yours better!

amother

Oak

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 7:36 am

Tell him you wanted to buy something with the money from your mother so he should please give it to you by the end of the day

amother

Plum

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 7:44 am

I am concerned that you need to "ask" dh for money at all. Do you not have a card to access your (or your joint?) bank account ?

watergirl

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 7:44 am

Withdraw $200 from the bank account and tell him that you’ve already taken the money and he doesnt have to give it to you any more.

Unless we are supposed to be understanding from your post that your name is not on your bank account? Which is another problem.

watergirl

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 7:56 am

amother wrote:

I am concerned that you need to "ask" dh for money at all. Do you not have a card to access your (or your joint?) bank account ?

We posted the same thing at the same time!

amother

Vermilion

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 7:57 am

Next time cash the check. Worth losing $6 or so charge. And open your own bank account. Maybe next time take the check straight to open the bank account.

watergirl

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 8:00 am

And as soon as you get the $200, go to the bank and open your own account! It takes 15 mins. You are a married woman and have the right to your own funds and the responsability to as well. Are you a mother yourself? But if you need money for an emergency and he isn’t available?

seeker

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 9:17 am

What they said. Sorry to be harsh, but you need life skills like taking care of your own banking. What if chas vshalom something happened to DH? You would have no access to your family's money?
Unless you're on bed rest or something, you should be able to handle this.

ellacoe

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 9:40 am

amother wrote:

Yikes.

How about ‘ dh if you forget to bring my money to me, I will forget to make you supper and forget to do your laundry’

Next time ask your mother for cash.

While this might be a satisfying answer, what will it achieve in the long run? Will it help or hinder your relationship.

Perhaps find away to ask him for the money that is not going to put him on the defensive, yet convey the message that you would like the money by a certain time. "Oh, DH, I am going to ______ (the mall, the store etc.) this week and would love to have that money from the check that you cashed for me. Do you think I could have it by _______? and you can add in a friendly way, is there anything that I could do to make it easier for you to remember? Ie set a reminder in your phone, or call you at a certain time?

greenfire

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 12:02 pm

get your own bank account

go to a check cashing place

don't be so childlike asking husband for money

you said your mother's gift not his mother

ask him straight out ... I need the $200 check back or the cash

InnerMe

Tue, Apr 17 2018, 12:15 pm

watergirl wrote:

This.
The whole premise of your question seems unhealthy.