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Name not on bank account?



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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 8:14 am
Other than financial abuse situations, why wouldnt a woman have her name on the bank account? Even if she doesnt earn an income - she still needs access to it. Why does this happen?

I guess this is a spin off the thread where the woman got a $200 check from her husband and he keeps “forgetting” to give her the money. Women are posting there that she should simply say “ your husband, would it upset you terribly if I asked you about the check”. I dont understand this dynamic. Please explain.
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 8:29 am
Dh and I have separate bank accounts but don't hold anything back from each other. We both have strong personalities and need our autonomy. If I need something I ask and he's forthcoming and vice versa. We share all responsibility. I do have access to his credit cards and check book as well. This is what works for us. I don't know what the OPs situation is like.
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salt




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 8:29 am
watergirl wrote:
Other than financial abuse situations, why wouldnt a woman have her name on the bank account? Even if she doesnt earn an income - she still needs access to it. Why does this happen?

I guess this is a spin off the thread where the woman got a $200 check from her husband and he keeps “forgetting” to give her the money. Women are posting there that she should simply say “ your husband, would it upset you terribly if I asked you about the check”. I dont understand this dynamic. Please explain.


I also don't understand this way of living - having to ask your husband for money, but I've learnt from "imamother" that not all wives have control over their 'joint' bank account. So I was simply answering her question, assuming it's not as simple as "go and take the money out the cash machine"
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amother
Yellow


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 8:33 am
I honestly don't know.

I insisted our house must be under my name also. All bank accounts are joined, except for my personal one. I want to control what my money gets used for (I work, DH puts alot into savings each month, even when he can't cover the bills)

DH has access to my bank account. I have a bank card for our main shared account. The rest is online. I don't have the username/passwords, but they are joined accounts.
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amother
Ruby


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 8:36 am
watergirl wrote:
Other than financial abuse situations, why wouldnt a woman have her name on the bank account? Even if she doesnt earn an income - she still needs access to it. Why does this happen?

I guess this is a spin off the thread where the woman got a $200 check from her husband and he keeps “forgetting” to give her the money. Women are posting there that she should simply say “ your husband, would it upset you terribly if I asked you about the check”. I dont understand this dynamic. Please explain.


On the other thread the check was in her name. So let’s assume she has a joint account (her mother thinks she does... yes I know she could endorse to dh).

Given she asked him to cash the check, I assumed she doesn’t have quick or easy access to a bank or atm. A poster here once mentioned in Monsey (for example) cash machines aren't at every corner.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 8:53 am
salt wrote:
I also don't understand this way of living - having to ask your husband for money, but I've learnt from "imamother" that not all wives have control over their 'joint' bank account. So I was simply answering her question, assuming it's not as simple as "go and take the money out the cash machine"

So I also assumed it wasnt as simple as “please remember to get me the money”. Something else is at play.
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 9:55 am
We used to have the same situation, but in reverse. Dh and I have separate accounts but are both very open with each other. But I used to be the main breadwinner and dh wasn't always that responsible about his spending, so I made the money and paid the bills and if he needed extra from me, he'd ask. Now though I'm a SAHM, and he works full-time, but all the bills are still in my name, paid from my account, so I have to remind him monthly to transfer money to my account. But this is what works for us. To each their own.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 9:57 am
Teomima wrote:
We used to have the same situation, but in reverse. Dh and I have separate accounts but are both very open with each other. But I used to be the main breadwinner and dh wasn't always that responsible about his spending, so I made the money and paid the bills and if he needed extra from me, he'd ask. Now though I'm a SAHM, and he works full-time, but all the bills are still in my name, paid from my account, so I have to remind him monthly to transfer money to my account. But this is what works for us. To each their own.

Not the same situation because you each have an account with your name on it.
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Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 10:51 am
watergirl wrote:
Not the same situation because you each have an account with your name on it.

I didn't see the original thread, so was unaware that she didn't have an account of her own, though technically that doesn't really matter, I mean when I was making the money and paying the bills, I'd give dh cash. The fact that he had his own account was irrelevant, since money wasn't really going through it.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 11:06 am
watergirl wrote:
Other than financial abuse situations, why wouldnt a woman have her name on the bank account? Even if she doesnt earn an income - she still needs access to it. Why does this happen?

I guess this is a spin off the thread where the woman got a $200 check from her husband and he keeps “forgetting” to give her the money. Women are posting there that she should simply say “ your husband, would it upset you terribly if I asked you about the check”. I dont understand this dynamic. Please explain.


Tax reasons? If they file jointly, maybe they will be bumped into a higher tax bracket than if they file separately. And, since they're filing separately, they like to keep all accounts separate for easier record-keeping?

Maybe he's in a high-liability profession and doesn't want any accounts in his wife's name so as to protect her from getting dragged into possible lawsuits with him? Or, maybe he's concerned about bankruptcy and doesn't want her to be affected?

Only other thing I can think of would be that this is part of a Medicaid plan, but people on this site are probably not thinking about how to finance their own nursing home care just yet.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 5:24 pm
I have a joint account with my DH and a separate account with just my name, because DH would have to come to my bank to join my account and he never ha a chance. So we left it that way. My income gets deposited into my account and DH's income gets deposited to his account. However DH pays all the bills. So he constantly withdraws money from my account. And he keeps track of the spending and budget. When I need cash, I ask him for cash. Yesterday I asked him for $20 so that I could take a taxi. We don't walk around with cash on us and I don't drive so I can't get to the bank. My DH took my debit card and withdrew the $20 from my account since that bank is closer to my house.
When I deposit a gift check into my account I make it clear this money is not to be touched, its gift money not to be used to pay bills.
It doesn't bother me that I have to ask for cash each time I need cash. Or sometimes if I'm near an ATM I'll call DH to make sure it's ok that I am withdrawing cash, just to make sure he didn't have plans to pay bills with it etc.
As long as there is a give and take and communication , I don't think it's problematic if a wife needs to ask her husband for the cash.
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amother
Bronze


 

Post Tue, Apr 17 2018, 5:33 pm
My name is not on our joint account for no reason. We opened a new account and I never went to the bank to add my name. But I have my own account where I deposit my money, and we use dh’s salary (in his account) to live, and mine for extras. But I have credit cards and all that get paid out of his (our) account.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 18 2018, 8:04 am
Some accounts only accommodate one name, or you can't add one afterwards. Get a procuration.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 18 2018, 8:05 am
amother wrote:
Tax reasons? If they file jointly, maybe they will be bumped into a higher tax bracket than if they file separately. And, since they're filing separately, they like to keep all accounts separate for easier record-keeping?

Maybe he's in a high-liability profession and doesn't want any accounts in his wife's name so as to protect her from getting dragged into possible lawsuits with him? Or, maybe he's concerned about bankruptcy and doesn't want her to be affected?

Only other thing I can think of would be that this is part of a Medicaid plan, but people on this site are probably not thinking about how to finance their own nursing home care just yet.

These all make sense and I never thought of them. Thanks.
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BH5745




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 18 2018, 1:51 pm
watergirl wrote:
Other than financial abuse situations, why wouldnt a woman have her name on the bank account? Even if she doesnt earn an income - she still needs access to it. Why does this happen?

I guess this is a spin off the thread where the woman got a $200 check from her husband and he keeps “forgetting” to give her the money. Women are posting there that she should simply say “ your husband, would it upset you terribly if I asked you about the check”. I dont understand this dynamic. Please explain.


Why would one assume 'financial abuse' when a woman doesn't have her name on a bank account with her husband? That seems like a very odd way to 'financially abuse' one's wife- having a bank account without her name on it. As if a wife can't go into any bank and open her own account? Of course she could, if she is eligible under the law to do so! If one wanted to 'financially abuse' their wife, lo aleinu, they could find far better ways than not adding their wife to their bank account.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 18 2018, 2:01 pm
BH5745 wrote:
Why would one assume 'financial abuse' when a woman doesn't have her name on a bank account with her husband? That seems like a very odd way to 'financially abuse' one's wife- having a bank account without her name on it. As if a wife can't go into any bank and open her own account? Of course she could, if she is eligible under the law to do so! If one wanted to 'financially abuse' their wife, lo aleinu, they could find far better ways than not adding their wife to their bank account.

As in - he wont give her access to it. I guess I wasnt clear enough. Did you see the other thread? She cant seem to go to the bank. Not sure why. I and others suggested she open her own account and no reply. Just trying to understand.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 18 2018, 2:04 pm
BH5745 wrote:
Why would one assume 'financial abuse' when a woman doesn't have her name on a bank account with her husband? That seems like a very odd way to 'financially abuse' one's wife- having a bank account without her name on it. As if a wife can't go into any bank and open her own account? Of course she could, if she is eligible under the law to do so! If one wanted to 'financially abuse' their wife, lo aleinu, they could find far better ways than not adding their wife to their bank account.

Also - if a spouse controls the money so tightly, a woman would have a hard time opening an account at all. You need money to start with generally. Also, if she has no id, she cant open an account.
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