Teaching child to think first

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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malky800

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 10:16 am

My child is mild Asperger.
He is 12.
In the last few weeks things have been getting out of hand that he has been doing stupid stuff, just because he didn't stop to think of the ramifications

Things like, putting rocks in the middle of the street because he wants to see them become projectiles when the cars drive over it.
or turning on the faucets in the bathroom at the shul and leaving them
.
These are dumb things my 5 year old does to get into trouble, not a 12 year old.
And I feel that when we remind him not to do that, the next day it's just something else . and he says, but you didn't tell me I can't do that.

I am desperately trying to get him back into therapy, but most places are telling me there is a long waiting list.
In the meantime, does anyone have ideas on how I can help him, or train him to stop and think before he acts.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 10:20 am

Teach possibly about thinking of the end result. So maybe you model for him that you want to do something but you are unsure of whether it is a good idea or not, he will get the idea of how to self reflect. So he can ask himself a question is this a good idea or will it make people mad. I had this idea based on the work of Sarah ward with executive functioning. Let's say a kid need to clean their room, she says they should visualize how they want the completed job to look and then work backwards to do it. It is more visual then planning a list of the steps to do on paper. So maybe you can adapt this idea for him?

Mommyg8

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 11:33 am

I'm not going to diagnose your child over the internet, but what you are describing sounds like classic ADHD. You mention that he has been diagnosed with mild Asperger's - but diagnosis are not set in stone and/or he could have co-morbidity. In any case, if it's ADHD, medication is usually what helps these kind of behaviors.

malky800

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 11:48 am

My child for sure has Aspergers.
it is possible that he has tendencies that show up in ADHD also. There are things that overlap, I am sure.
Right now he is already on meds. Now he needs training.

STMommy

Thu, Apr 26 2018, 12:48 pm

since your post describes rule following and inflexible thinking, can you create a rule for him like, "if you are curious about something, you must ask me" or "if you are wondering what will happen if you do something, the rule is to ask me before you do it"
this would be in the meantime until a therapist can teach him how to determine outcomes of actions and decision making.

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