Another s/o about shabbos

amother

Cerulean

Sun, May 06 2018, 8:58 am

Does anyone else dread shabbos in this nice weather because of all the socializing that takes place? I know others would say I'm fortunate to live around people but for me I can do without it

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, May 06 2018, 9:20 am

I wouldn't say that I dread shabbos, but I'm righr there with you on this topic. My kids love to play outside but I can't deal with sitting in a park jabbering for hours while my kids fly around the block. it's NOT for me

amother

Seashell

Sun, May 06 2018, 9:29 am

Yes yes yes yes yes

amother

Pewter

Sun, May 06 2018, 11:31 am

No. When I go to shul I split right after Adon Olom and am on my way home before everyone else has even left the sanctuary. Then I stay home. What I dread is family engagements and weddings, which have become exaggerated beyond belief. Despite the introduction of takana weddings, it's like there's a conspiracy to squeeze every possible excuse for a party out of the deal. I'm sure the party people are partly responsible for proliferating this madness. There's the lechayim, then the vort, then the engagement kiddush in shul, then the shabbos kallah or aufruf depending on which side you're from, then the wedding, then all the sheva brooches and that's just too much making nice with too many people in too short a time. We didn't have all that stuff when my friends and I were in the parsha. Shabbos kallah was inviting 2 or 3 of your BFFS to spend Shabbos with you, not having your entire graduating class over, and your dad and brothers didn't have to run away to spend Shabbos at the chosson's parents' house. None of my friends had a vort and if they had lechayims, which I didn't, they were both sets of parents, a plate of cake and some fruit, and by default any kids who lived in the house where the lechayim was held. Aufruf was limted to the shul where the chosson davened and the congregants thereof, plus some local friends of the family who davened at different shuls and came to the kiddush after shul. Sheva brooches, of which we had only a few, B"H, were a penance. There's such a thing as too much of a good thing and this is it. I prefer socializing in small doses and getting to know people a few at a time.

amother

Cerulean

Sun, May 06 2018, 12:43 pm

I can handle social gatherings because there is a beginning and end but shabbos in this weather feels like a never ending day of people just out side talking about nothing. I wish everyone would just stay inside. It really gets to me, and I don't even join in.

amother

Khaki

Sun, May 06 2018, 1:04 pm

Im used to it now but I dod find it very difficult for years.
Noone in my household (of dh and 2ds)went to shul and having a shul across the road means seeing people going there all the time was too painful.
Wanting more children and having to go on the pill didnt help either by seeing big families around. So yes. It was hard.

But now circumstances have changed a bit so I can bear it ...

seeker

Sun, May 06 2018, 3:29 pm

Yeah I don't hate it, I think socializing is kind of nice, but I do NOT have the stamina to keep doing it for as long as my kids want to play in the park! There are quite a few parks in my neighborhood. We can go to one where we don't know people and then I'm bored to tears because there's no one to talk to. Or we can go to one where we know people and then I get tired of the mostly meaningless conversation. It seems like most of my kids' friends are at the younger end of larger families so there's a lot of talk about high schools, shidduchim, etc... I can stay with it a little but it gets boring fast. By the time my kids are applying for high school I'll have no one to take to the park so I'll have to find some other way to figure out what's going on...