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"No" response to wedding invitation



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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Sun, May 06 2018, 2:25 pm
I feel silly that I don't know this, but when you respond that you are unable to attend a wedding, do you still send a gift? If yes, do you just put a check in with the response card? Do you need to send a separate card? TIA!
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amother
Black


 

Post Sun, May 06 2018, 2:30 pm
When it comes to these things, there is no "normal."

If you can afford it and feel close enough to send a gift, by all means do. But if you are struggling or don't particularly feel close, there is absolutely no need to send anything.
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Frumwithallergies




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 06 2018, 2:30 pm
Depends on who is getting married, IHO.

If it's a close-ish family / friend, then send check (in reply card or separate envelope, whichever is more convenient). If not so close then simply reply 'no', without check.
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amother
Lilac


 

Post Sun, May 06 2018, 2:32 pm
They should not be expecting a gift.

If you want to give a check, it is appropriate to enclose it in the return envelope instead of sending separately. If you want to give a gift, it is appropriate to send one.

Whether or not you were not planning on giving a gift, it is very mentchlich to respond promptly so they can plan earlier.
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zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 06 2018, 3:04 pm
There is no standard "correct" thing to do. Some people send a gift, some don't. Some enclose a check with the response card, some send a gift separately, esp. if the couple has registered at BBB, which all couples seem to do nowadays. It's all good.

What's not good is to send a card saying baldly "Mr. and Mrs. Laservision Ausgegeben will not attend," which makes a very unfriendly impression. At the least say something like "Mr. & Mrs. Ausgegeben regret that they cannot attend because they have no idea who you are, but wish the entire mishpacha warmest mazal tov and much nachas from the young couple."
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SixOfWands




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, May 06 2018, 3:13 pm
We generally would send a gift, but smaller than we would if attending. But there’s no obligation. Exept, as Zaq said, to wish them a mazel tov.
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amother
Silver


 

Post Sun, May 06 2018, 6:07 pm
I find it convenient to enclose a check with the response card even when I am attending because it means I don't have to buy a card and find someone to hand it to at the wedding. If I'm not attending I either send a gift that way or buy something from the registry and have it shipped. If it's not close family I spend less than if I had attended.
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amother
Scarlet


 

Post Sun, May 06 2018, 9:31 pm
Thanks for all the advice!
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amother
Beige


 

Post Sun, May 06 2018, 11:08 pm
I will send a check or order a small item off a registry if they have one. I may not be going but I still want to celebrate this milestone and for them to have something from me in their new home.
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