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Forum -> Hobbies, Crafts, and Collections -> Reading Room

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amother

Denim

Sat, May 12 2018, 10:22 pm

This was the strangest thing I ever read in Mishpacha. Can someone explain please? Confused

ChutzPAh

Sat, May 12 2018, 10:35 pm

Did you read it until the end ?

amother

Mint

Sat, May 12 2018, 10:42 pm

I was convinced that the narrator was gay until he revealed his condition.

daagahminayin

Sat, May 12 2018, 10:43 pm

I can only read an excerpt from it online. Could someone give me the gist or post a picture?

amother

Denim

Sat, May 12 2018, 10:46 pm

Yes.

But why should having misophonia make it surprising that he is sending his kids to mainstream Jewish schools, continuing to be an upstanding member of the frum community, and has difficulty properly doing mitzvos that are specifically male-related??

And to say that he suspected a Talmid chochom he knew of secretly struggling with this but the TC couldn't admit it? Weird, why wouldn't someone want to admit having misophonia?? And everyone, from rabbonim to therapists, gave him tips to overcome it and get rid of this disorder but nothing worked? Doesn't really make sense for misophonia.

So my take is the article is trying to say that SSA is just like any other struggle a person may have, like, say, misophonia.

I'm curious how other people read it.

But either way, I'm floored that Mishpacha would address, or even hint at addressing, or make people think they are addressing, this topic.

amother

Denim

Sat, May 12 2018, 10:51 pm

daagahminayin wrote:

I can only read an excerpt from it online. Could someone give me the gist or post a picture?

The narrator describes a "disorder", without naming it, that he struggled with since he was a bochur. Because of the disorder, he was not able to learn full time in kollel and finds it difficult to go to shul very often. He spent a fortune on therapy, consulted many rabbonim, but still has seen no real improvement or change.

He goes on to describe his struggles, leading the reader to assume he is describing SSA, but then says that his condition is misophonia. He says some struggles can be overcome, and some, are just lived with and are constant and never go away.

livinginflatbus

Sat, May 12 2018, 10:55 pm

I was also convinced it’s some controversial thing he was hiding. I felt there was way too much drama leading up to his condition, not that I’m Undermining the severity of it .

mirror

Sat, May 12 2018, 10:57 pm

My understanding is that he asked advice from the wrong people. Instead of asking a Rav who was not familiar with his condition, he should have asked questions to a frum therapist who knew about his condition.

Last edited by mirror on Sat, May 12 2018, 10:58 pm; edited 1 time in total

daagahminayin

Sat, May 12 2018, 10:58 pm

amother wrote:

Thanks!

Frenchfry

Sat, May 12 2018, 11:41 pm

What is SSA?

daagahminayin

Sat, May 12 2018, 11:44 pm

Frenchfry wrote:

What is SSA?

Same S-x Attraction

Last edited by daagahminayin on Sun, May 13 2018, 12:42 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Vermilion

Sun, May 13 2018, 12:03 am

I also found the way this was dramatized and presented was eerie and interesting in a boring way...perhaps, I, too, cannot fathom the severity...

watergirl

Sun, May 13 2018, 12:30 am

I can relate to this. I’ve long suspected that I had a real issue but didnt know it had a name - misophonia, and didnt know that it was a “thing” until the last few years. Certain sounds really have an effect on me. I cant explain it, its one of those things that you cant understand unless you have it. I TOTALLY see how someone would have trouble in a kollel environment, with the coffee slurping, pen clicking, foot tapping, and if someone is chewing gum? Forget it. It triggers a feeing thats like unexplainable anger, almost like rage. You cant just ignore it, you have to learn real coping mechanisms. And people just think its weird and we should just deal with it - which is what we have to do.

As to why the story was told like this, I get it also. Its embarrassing to admit! People literally dont understand.

amother

Pewter

Sun, May 13 2018, 1:34 am

livinginflatbus wrote:

I was also convinced it’s some controversial thing he was hiding. I felt there was way too much drama leading up to his condition, not that I’m Undermining the severity of it .

I think the point of writing it that way was to show that we never know the hidden struggles of other people..it wasn’t just about the narrators struggle but the broader picture...including struggles that may be viewed as “controversial”

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