How late to invite to a meal on Yom Tov?

amother

Plum

Thu, May 17 2018, 8:08 pm

At what point would you find it weird for a person to call you to invite you and your family for a meal on Yom Tov?
You are married with children. And you are staying home and cooking.
I had somebody once asked us to come for lunch on Yom Tov like an hour before the meal. She was upset we said no. I already had cooked and prepared everything for lunch.

gilamom

Thu, May 17 2018, 8:13 pm

You can call me now or an hour before the meal, I don't care that I cooked, no one wants this soggy crust cheesecake, burnt sauce or rubbery challah, especially not me!! LOL

Joking aside, I'd say 24 hours in advance or more is good, anything less than that and you might have to expect a no.

doctorima

Thu, May 17 2018, 8:33 pm

It depends on your community norms and the people involved. Personally, if somebody called me tonight or tomorrow to invite me for a Yom Tov meal, I'd be touched that they thought of me, but would honestly think it's a little strange, and would decline because I'm already set for my meals at this point.

amother

Floralwhite

Thu, May 17 2018, 9:22 pm

We are pretty spontaneous. If someone called me an hour before the meal and I liked them, I would go.

Last Shabbos we ran into friends after kiddish before the meal, and we joined them. It was a toss up which house to go to.

MiracleMama

Thu, May 17 2018, 10:09 pm

I think as long as there are still 48 hours to go, you're officially not an afterthought. Though in this community, people make their plans weeks and weeks ahead. If I didn't invite my yomtov guests at least a month ago, I'd have no guests at all.

seeker

Thu, May 17 2018, 10:22 pm

I don't think it's ever too late to extend an invitation. Extending an invitation is a friendly thing to do. But that doesn't mean you can expect the person to accept the invitation. And no matter how early you invite, it makes no sense to get offended if they decline.

tichellady

Thu, May 17 2018, 10:40 pm

seeker wrote:

I agree although if I’m asking late I would preface by “ sorry for the late request, can you join us for .....? ( of course we understand if you already have plans)”

essie14

Fri, May 18 2018, 12:49 am

I like to be organized and shop on Wednesday/Thursday so I always invite Tuesday or Wednesday. (for shabbat)
For a chag I usually shop in a few different stores for different items so I would invite at least a week in advance.

simcha2

Fri, May 18 2018, 3:41 am

I'm just not that organized. In general I invite Wednesday or Thursday for Shabbat. (They are genuine invitations). I have a group of friends I will invite Friday (I would invite anyone on a Friday, but I know some people get offended, but it is more a reflection on Shabbat sneaking up on me than on the other person). I have also picked people up in shul. They go home, take their food off the blech and then come. Again, it depends on the person. I won't invite them if I think they'll get offended.

It is just my weeks are busy and only at the end of the week (and that includes Shabbat morning) can I think of inviting.

We have guests most weeks.

FranticFrummie

Fri, May 18 2018, 4:20 am

LOL, I literally just invited someone a few minutes ago! LOL

I told her "I'm sorry this is so last minute. I really meant to invite you earlier, but the week got away with me. If it's too short notice, I'd love to have you over another time (giving her a graceful way out.")

She was thrilled for the invite!