Is this a thing or am I just playing mind games with myself?

amother

Navy

Wed, May 23 2018, 8:19 am

We got the Torah on 6th Sivan (most opinions) and on the 7th Moshe went up the mountain to learn, coming back on 17 tamuz and smashing the luchot after seeing the eigal hazav. Does the fact of the tekufa of Moshe being away from the world cause a change in ruchnius such that emunah is harder at this time?

Note I was NOT aware of the details of the dates of these things until I reviewed them with one of my kids yesterday. I had learned it at some point in the past, but it wasn't part of my conscious thoughts.

Now, on Friday I did something lchvod yt that certainly had a positive affect on the whole 3 days. But it was something that I was a little worried could lead to negative effects after yt. The thing absolutely did have a positive effect on the chag. Until, at about the point of the day where the entire world would have been on second day yt, I.e. 7 sivan, I began to have panicky feelings about what I had done. What I did was not wrong at all. But I was worried about the pain it could cause me and especially my kids. After yt I discovered that in fact there were going to be big difficult long term implications of the decision I made on Friday.

My question is - is this period of time a time when things don't seem to be going so well, and it's harder to have Emunah?

PinkFridge

Wed, May 23 2018, 9:40 am

I've never heard this.
I wish you menucha in all your decisions and the repercussions of this one.
I can't begin to imagine what this decision is. There are two possible approaches to your decision:
1) It was a good decision and an appropriate one. That there is some negative fallout could be the proverbial soton mei'achareinu. This is a concept relevant to the Akeida and the death of Sara. When the Soton saw he couldn't deter Avraham from going ahead with the Akeida, Sara, who was destined to die anyway at this point, instead died in a way that would link her death to the Akeida, correctly or not, and possible get Avraham to second guess his decision, which would be a victory for the yetzer hara. When we make a good decision we shouldn't regret it later.
2) Maybe it wasn't the best decision. Maybe you should have consulted other people. Learn for next time. You are a good, well-intentioned person with solid perspective and you will have many good opportunities, and see peiros from your hard work and sincerity.

Does this help?

amother

Orchid

Wed, May 23 2018, 9:43 am

Your post is too complicated to easily follow, aside from the last sentence.

Emunah is unique to the individual. Don't blame wavering faith on the time.

And I do believe that ruchniyus questions should be asked of your rav. Imamother is probably not the place for it.

PinkFridge

Wed, May 23 2018, 10:16 am

amother wrote:

Your post was helpful pink fridge.

I was just wondering if just like in Ellul the King is in his field, if perhaps, there are other times that he is far away.

I don't think He's ever farther, though of course galus itself implies distance, He's behind the cracked blinds; I think that sometimes He's just closer.
But He's always here. There's the famous story Sara Yoheved Rigler writes in Holy Woman, that she thought Rebbetzin Kramer was somewhat senile when she said Auschwitz wasn't a bad place. Ultimately she got an explanation: she was always able to feel G-d and try to do His will, so by definition, that wasn't a bad place. (Of course we know that many many good people didn't live there on a transcendent level, they were focused on surviving and the next morsel of food and drink of water, and that didn't make them bad people in any way, just citing the story to explain that Hashem is always accessible.)

zaq

Wed, May 23 2018, 10:25 am

amother wrote:

Your post was helpful pink fridge.

I was just wondering if just like in Ellul the King is in his field, if perhaps, there are other times that he is far away.

The gates to tefillah are always open. There are times of the year, the Nine Days come to mind, when we avoid things like travel and lawsuits, because those are periods in which Midat Hadin has the upper hand as it were, and if given a choice we’d rather do these things when Midat Harachamim is ascendant. But the gates are never closed, not even after what we picturesquely call Neilah, and did you know that it’s proper to make shidduchim even during “inauspicious” times like the Nine Days? There is no evidence that shidduchim made during such times are any less blessed than those made at any other time of year.

Quit second and third guessing yourself. Presumably you made the best decision you could based on information you had at the time, end of story. Move on.