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Gift for Sephardi Wedding



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amother
Peach


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 7:54 am
What kind of gifts is the norm to give for a Sephardi wedding? We are not close to the bride or groom.
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amother
Natural


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 7:56 am
Money, sorry to be so blunt.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:15 am
Every chosson and kallah can enjoy building up their own wedding money fund a check is always useful and a good gift for everyone starting their married life together.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:16 am
Why would you think spehardim give and get different gifts than Ashkenazim?
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Simple1




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 8:39 am
amother wrote:
Why would you think spehardim give and get different gifts than Ashkenazim?


Also, sephardi includes a range of various types and communities which can really be different from each other.
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:55 am
Mostly gifts from me, and I'm in a mostly non ashkenazi com
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amother
Olive


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 10:13 am
amother wrote:
Why would you think spehardim give and get different gifts than Ashkenazim?


Gifting norms for weddings is very cultural.
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amother
Pewter


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 1:03 pm
amother wrote:
Gifting norms for weddings is very cultural.


And there is no "culture" of sefardi gift giving. You want to ask about French sefardim of North African descent? Fine. You want to ask about Brooklyn syrians? Fine. You want to ask about Persians in LA? Fine. But to lump all sefardim into one group does not give anyone any insight into which culture op is targeting.

Wouldn't you think it was odd if someone anonymously asked what Ashkenazim give as wedding gifts? Don't you think the answer would vary widely depending on locale, socioeconomic group, particular sect, etc?
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amother
Olive


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 1:11 pm
amother wrote:
And there is no "culture" of sefardi gift giving. You want to ask about French sefardim of North African descent? Fine. You want to ask about Brooklyn syrians? Fine. You want to ask about Persians in LA? Fine. But to lump all sefardim into one group does not give anyone any insight into which culture op is targeting.

Wouldn't you think it was odd if someone anonymously asked what Ashkenazim give as wedding gifts? Don't you think the answer would vary widely depending on locale, socioeconomic group, particular sect, etc?


I was explaining where the the poster was coming from with her question.

It came from a good place, but was perhaps a bit 'naive", that's it. Yes, there are a lot of Ashkenazim people who see Sephardim as one monolithic group. Blame our education and our own insularity.

The question was still a valid one - it just needed some refinement.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 4:26 pm
Cold hard cash usually works across all cultures and will be a lot more appreciated. Give what you can afford.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 5:51 pm
amother wrote:
Cold hard cash usually works across all cultures and will be a lot more appreciated. Give what you can afford.


I appreciated very thoughtful tangible gifts more than I appreciated receiving cash. (Both of course were appreciated, but to order them, cash was second).

and give what you can afford? there are inappropriate maximums to gift giving as well.
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amother
Peach


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 6:51 pm
I am talking about Brooklyn Syrians.
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33055




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 9:22 pm
amother wrote:
I appreciated very thoughtful tangible gifts more than I appreciated receiving cash. (Both of course were appreciated, but to order them, cash was second).

and give what you can afford? there are inappropriate maximums to gift giving as well.


I also appreciate gifts more than cash.
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 10:18 pm
Squishy wrote:
I also appreciate gifts more than cash.


Maybe you do, but unless you know the person's specific taste or know where they are registered for gifts, cash is the best gift. I just married off a child. One person sent a ceramic pitcher. It was left by me, because the kids did not want. Just got another ceremaic baking dish, that I know will not be appreciated, knowing my DC taste. Even some gifts they got for the shower, were sent back to the gift store for credit to get what they really wanted. They did not need 6 sets of flatware or 20 serving platters.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Mon, Jun 11 2018, 10:25 pm
amother wrote:
Maybe you do, but unless you know the person's specific taste or know where they are registered for gifts, cash is the best gift. I just married off a child. One person sent a ceramic pitcher. It was left by me, because the kids did not want. Just got another ceremaic baking dish, that I know will not be appreciated, knowing my DC taste. Even some gifts they got for the shower, were sent back to the gift store for credit to get what they really wanted. They did not need 6 sets of flatware or 20 serving platters.


You made a general statement that cash will be a lot more appreciated. That is not true for all people. Yes cash would be more appreciated that a superfluous crystal bowl (I got 10), but for me anyway - the gifts that I appreciated the most were thoughtful non-cash items. Not everyone can do it... I give cash or registry most of the time... but some people who I know well... they get something I picked out just for them.
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 3:10 am
Yes I would’ve preferred cash to the 5th set of pots, but a thoughtful gift in which the giver was clearly thinking about me/us and what would make us happy hits me in my heart. I would prefer a $5 thoughtful gift over a large check. I just don’t feel much of a difference between an $18 and a $180 check. Unless it comes with a card that says to use it for something specific like "a kitchen appliance since you will be overseas with different plugs".
If you don’t know them but want them to remember you, get a very good useful thing. (A swing-away can opener comes to mind)
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amother
Seashell


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 7:15 am
Iymnok wrote:
Yes I would’ve preferred cash to the 5th set of pots, but a thoughtful gift in which the giver was clearly thinking about me/us and what would make us happy hits me in my heart. I would prefer a $5 thoughtful gift over a large check. I just don’t feel much of a difference between an $18 and a $180 check. Unless it comes with a card that says to use it for something specific like "a kitchen appliance since you will be overseas with different plugs".
If you don’t know them but want them to remember you, get a very good useful thing. (A swing-away can opener comes to mind)


Not every gift is thoughtful. I got some really junky and useless items. I also got some very nice quality items that I am still using to this day. If you know the couple and their taste a nice gift (with a gift receipt! Even the most thoughtful gift is useless if two people had the same idea) is fine. But you can never really go wrong with money, in almost any culture.
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