Extremely sensitive child

amother

Linen

Mon, Jun 11 2018, 11:54 pm

My DS is 9.5 years old and extremely sensitive!
He's always imagining that everyone around him is mocking him. for instance, he didn't want to go to a bris because he said that everyone will laugh at him. He went and came back saying just that. The other day he went out biking with some friends, and he came back miserable because his shirt got dirty from a puddle, and he imagined that everyone was laughing at him.
Today he came home bawling from school, I literally couldn't calm him down for hours, because a friend laughed at him. He was so miserable and quiet that he went to bed early in a real down mood.

I'm at a loss! I tried sympathizing and coaxing him. When I told him that he's so smart, cute and lovable, he doesn't buy it.

Do you think he needs therapy??

Does anyone have any ideas, suggestions..

Mommyg8

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 12:32 am

When I was looking at the bottom of the other "sensitive" thread, I saw a thread about Mrs. Shaindel Cohen, and that reminded me....

I went to her workshop many moons ago. She focuses on social skills, but one of the social skills she focuses on is reacting to teasing... so she recommends helping a sensitive child (or any teased child) learn to re-frame the words into a joke. If someone says - look how stupid, red boots! Your child can say - Ha, ha, yes, I have red boots, isn't it funny? I'm just like a fireman!

I can't think of any more examples offhand - it's late, and I'm tired - but the basic idea is to make the comment into a joke. Try to get your child to re-frame this - like in your example, when his shirt gets dirty - tell him - look how funny you look, your shirt is all dirty! Haha, isn't it funny, my shirt is full of mud!

Another thing that might help - not from Mrs. Cohen - that if you model a correct response, it will help him re-frame in his mind. So try to show that YOU don't care what others say, and he'll more easily pick up the attitude from you.

amother

Floralwhite

Tue, Jun 12 2018, 7:50 am

Sounds like social anxiety to me. You can discuss this with a therapist, or find some resources to deal with it on your own. But I'll tell you that the least effective thing you can do is try to convince him that his fears are not valid. "Why would you think anyone is laughing at you? Of course they're not!" That kind of thing. Also, this is not the kind of thing kids outgrow unless they actively learn how to think differently.