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Forum -> Children's Health
My son got bitten by another kid. How to handle?



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amother
Green


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 6:56 pm
My FIFTH grade son was bitten by another kid in his class today Right at end of School. He tore through his shirt and ruined it and broke skin. My son told me he did push and kick the kid but the other kid was trying to cut the bus line and wouldn’t listen when my son told him to go back. Not saying he’s right but definitely not deserving of a bite ever. I don’t know the kids mother. Should I call her anyway or Just wait till tomorrow and tell the principal to deal
With it? I’m
So bad on these situations but I’m
Absolutely fuming don’t know what to do. My son is devastated and refuses to go on bus tomorrow.
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amother
Magenta


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 6:59 pm
Call someone from the school tonight.

And discuss with your son why instigating the physical aggression (by kicking) is risky and may end badly for him.
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thunderstorm




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 7:15 pm
Get the school involved and they should talk to BOTH kids to find out exactly what happened. However if a human bite breaks skin it can be dangerous and can get infected easily . Please make sure it's cleaned well and keep an eye out for infection. If it starts looking bad take your child to the doctor right away.
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amother
Ecru


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 7:20 pm
I am not defending biting.

But, your kid pushed and kicked a kid who cut in line. If this kid is smaller than yours (and in 5th grade there can be a huge disparity in size), he might have felt he had no choice. If the bite was on your sons forearm it is likely he was holding the other kid around the neck. Think about how the other kid would reach your son there. He may have bitten him to get your son to let go. Not ok, obviously, but potentially understandable.

I can't believe cutting in line warrants a physical reaction.
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soap suds




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 7:21 pm
Talk to the school. It happened on their watch, they should be the ones to deal with it.
If you don't know the mother, chances are she's just going to get defensive and stick up for her son.
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amother
Green


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 7:52 pm
amother wrote:
I am not defending biting.

But, your kid pushed and kicked a kid who cut in line. If this kid is smaller than yours (and in 5th grade there can be a huge disparity in size), he might have felt he had no choice. If the bite was on your sons forearm it is likely he was holding the other kid around the neck. Think about how the other kid would reach your son there. He may have bitten him to get your son to let go. Not ok, obviously, but potentially understandable.

I can't believe cutting in line warrants a physical reaction.
[quote]


Are u joking? My son said hey go to Back or line where u belong. The kid
Pinched him and then they started kicking each other. The kid got really mad about not being allowed to cut and bit. Yes maybe my son should’ve just let but apparently this kid can’t handle daily whenever he isn’t at front.
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amother
Green


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 7:53 pm
thunderstorm wrote:
Get the school involved and they should talk to BOTH kids to find out exactly what happened. However if a human bite breaks skin it can be dangerous and can get infected easily . Please make sure it's cleaned well and keep an eye out for infection. If it starts looking bad take your child to the doctor right away.


Thanks I called the dr and they said he’s up to date on tetanus shot so to just cream it.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 7:54 pm
A 5th grader shouldn't be biting anymore, for no reason! That's toddler behavior. You must bring it up with the school. Don't mention anything to the mother just yet, let the school deal with it.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 8:58 pm
When my son was 2, he bit another child in his class. I was horrified, spoke to the teacher, spoke to the mom, both reassured me not to worry and that it's normal behavior for a toddler. You are talking about a 5th grader. Kicking? Appropriate 5th grade behavior. Pinching? Teasing? Twisting arms? All appropriate. Biting? No way. Speak to the teacher and make sure something is done.
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 8:59 pm
Op maybe your son is not telling you exactly what happened. Maybe take what he says with a grain of salt ?
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amother
Green


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 9:07 pm
amother wrote:
Op maybe your son is not telling you exactly what happened. Maybe take what he says with a grain of salt ?
[quote]

True. That’s why I’m going to wait for principal to speak to the kid who bit. However he right away admitted to kicking and punching so I think he was telling the whole truth.
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zohar




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 9:39 pm
amother wrote:
A 5th grader shouldn't be biting anymore, for no reason! That's toddler behavior. You must bring it up with the school. Don't mention anything to the mother just yet, let the school deal with it.


The fact that it's so strange for a 5th grader to bite, even a bully, is what is making me suspect that the kid may have bit out of desperation and self defense, like the scenario another amother suggested that a smaller boy may be trying to get out of a choke hold.
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amother
Green


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 9:59 pm
zohar wrote:
The fact that it's so strange for a 5th grader to bite, even a bully, is what is making me suspect that the kid may have bit out of desperation and self defense, like the scenario another amother suggested that a smaller boy may be trying to get out of a choke hold.

I understand. But my son says it
Didn’t go beyond the kicking
And I believe him. My son isn’t the type. I doubt he even knows how to choke hold someone. He says this boy always “needs to be front of line for bus. Don’t know why my son didn’t just let him but in truth my son also wants to choose the seat he wants.
Anyway I’ll let the principal know so he can have whoever is out by the buses keep
A better eye on this specific bus line. (As well as dealing with ththe biting)
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 10:29 pm
I work in a school my children in my school are rather a lot younger than your son sometimes two year olds they bite each other cuz they're Limited in speech so they could use their mouth. the fact is that the boy did something wrong that he pushed ahead but the fact is your son also went very physical so the boy obviously retaliated and it's something that the school has to deal with
not you and not the mother because sometimes parents come with emotional feelings you just say plain facts to the principal
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amother
Rose


 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 10:53 pm
zohar wrote:
The fact that it's so strange for a 5th grader to bite, even a bully, is what is making me suspect that the kid may have bit out of desperation and self defense, like the scenario another amother suggested that a smaller boy may be trying to get out of a choke hold.

What I'm thinking is that this boy probably bit out of desperation to be first in line. Kids who are extremely impulsive and can't handle disappointment will sometimes react way out of proportion to what is actually happening.
Also when when kids are on meds and its wearing off they can be out of control.
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seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jun 12 2018, 11:12 pm
It sounds like the biter has his own issues, likely related to his perceived need to be first in line every day (as the son describes.) For his sake, I hope the school and parents are both on top of his needs. From your end, I think the only thing you can and should do is let the school know what happened, as a factual report, and consider advising your son on how to handle (or disengage from) other people's challenges.
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zohar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 13 2018, 12:24 am
amother wrote:
What I'm thinking is that this boy probably bit out of desperation to be first in line. Kids who are extremely impulsive and can't handle disappointment will sometimes react way out of proportion to what is actually happening.
Also when when kids are on meds and its wearing off they can be out of control.


Definitely a possibility.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jun 13 2018, 9:17 am
amother wrote:
I understand. But my son says it
Didn’t go beyond the kicking
And I believe him. My son isn’t the type. I doubt he even knows how to choke hold someone. He says this boy always “needs to be front of line for bus. Don’t know why my son didn’t just let him but in truth my son also wants to choose the seat he wants.
Anyway I’ll let the principal know so he can have whoever is out by the buses keep
A better eye on this specific bus line. (As well as dealing with ththe biting)


The biting is definitely inappropriate and needs to be dealt with.

But your son also needs to know that a physical response - like kicking someone who cut the line - is also completely inappropriate. It's important to discuss this with your son. It's not his job to implement fairness to that extent - he could have discussed this with a teacher, or with you, etc...but to kick someone is taking things too far.
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amother
White


 

Post Wed, Jun 13 2018, 9:50 am
Biting is really bad because of the possible infections.
My niece once got bitten extremely bad in kindergarten. We could see the marks even 2 months later. My sister is a doctor so she flipped out, called the kindergarten and the boy got kicked out the next day.

5th graders are old enough to use their words. The school should be talking to the parents imo
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