Spending money on lasting things versus experiences

STMommy

Thu, Jun 14 2018, 1:07 pm

I've thought about this a lot lately so I'm very curious on other people's philosophies and practices (and if those two align with each other).
My Dh has a hard time spending money, so if we are spending money, he is less likely to spend on experiences and more likely to spend on things. Meaning, material things that last and that you have for the long term (whether its clothes or some other type of object/gift). He does not believe in spending money on things that are fleeting (I.e., take-out, flowers, manicures) and he doesn't like spending money on experiences (I.e., show tickets, vacations). I grew up in a family where we couldn't afford vacations but my parents definitely spent money on things for convenience, because they both worked full time and believed in spending money to make life easier when necessary. Even though DH and I both also work full time, it took me a while to get him to understand that sometimes I don't have the time or energy to cook dinner and it would helpful to pick up a pizza, or that every now and then (meaning like 2-3 times a year) a pedicure is good for my mental health.
I would love to hear whether in your life you have the same delineations in terms of spending money and what that looks like.

singleagain

Thu, Jun 14 2018, 1:21 pm

When I brought home stuff my dad would sheets mention this book called "to have or to be" St like that.... I never read it, but his point was that just having stuff isn't the point but to make the memory

Personally I think a balance of certain things is important... And there is a certain experience of going to see a movie in the theater vs eating till it's free on cable and watching on TV... Ppl are different and will internalize different experiences in a different way

I used to take so many pictures...I was photo editor in my highschool yearbook. And I also hated being in pictures.. so in my yearbook there are about three pictures of me. And you know what I don't really remember it much... I remember how upset I was when some pictures were lost and ruined. But getting the picture over having the experience... Sure it's nice to have the pictures...what's the point of I can't remember what going on in it....

I'm not saying taking pictures or owning DVDs are bad... But there has to be a balance.

In regards to shows/trips etc...I like to buy a souvenir... Bc looking at that souvenir reminds me of the special time. It's also why I keep my ticket stubs to a movie and own show soundtracks.

I think I'm rambling but my buttom like is doing get stuff just to have stuff unless you gave a memory with it... But to don't always need the stuff to have a memory either.

33055

Thu, Jun 14 2018, 1:24 pm

I like spending money on experiences like travel to new places. Those create lasting memories. People become more sophisticated through travel.

I like my kids to experience real things versus amusement parks.

I don't like spending money on things. There is too much wasteful spending that I see. I don't know why we need so many things once we have the basics. LOL - I don't count jewellery and books as wasteful spending. Wink

Teomima

Thu, Jun 14 2018, 2:36 pm

I'm the opposite of your husband. I don't like spending money on "things." In my mind, they don't last nearly as long as memories do. I'd much rather save up for travel and give my kids experiences they will remember for a lifetime (budget experiences, I'm not talking about cruises and five star hotels). As for convenience items, they have a time and place. There's no way I could get through late pregnancy/early postpartum without the occasional takeout/delivery.

zaq

Thu, Jun 14 2018, 2:58 pm

There’s no right or wrong here. To each his or her own. “Experience” gifts are very a la mode just now, with every decluttering columnist pushing them as a way to reduce the glut of material things so many of us have. And if the giftee is the sort to hold on to memories and fondly relive an experience, sure, great, it’s the gift that keeps on giving. OTOH if the giftee is the sort who forgets quickly, once the experience is over, it’s over, nothing left to show for it unless it’s lessons and the giftee had acquired a new skill.