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-> Working Women
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amother
Papaya
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 Mon, Jun 18 2018, 8:22 pm
I know I am not alone in my experience here, and maybe all the senseless, catty, unnecessary bashing and rude little jabs and comments should just be taken with a grain of salt, realizing that they come solely from unhappy, dysfunctional people looking for a fight, for whatever reason. This forum is the ultimate platform for the passive-aggressively-disposed. You have to prove how much halacha you know just to get approved, and for what? To ask a question, to seek support, only to find some nasty little trolls with their dirty teeth sunk into your heels? I, for one, am done here. I am sure that HaShm does not approve of the loshon hara and sinas chinam that sprouts up everywhere you look here.
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thunderstorm
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 8:26 pm
| amother wrote: |
I know I am not alone in my experience here, and maybe all the senseless, catty, unnecessary bashing and rude little jabs and comments should just be taken with a grain of salt, realizing that they come solely from unhappy, dysfunctional people looking for a fight, for whatever reason. This forum is the ultimate platform for the passive-aggressively-disposed. You have to prove how much halacha you know just to get approved, and for what? To ask a question, to seek support, only to find some nasty little trolls with their dirty teeth sunk into your heels? I, for one, am done here. I am sure that HaShm does not approve of the loshon hara and sinas chinam that sprouts up everywhere you look here. |
Take any group of women this large , even IRL and you will witness the same behavior. You are lucky you haven't been exposed to that IRL.
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relish
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 8:29 pm
"Take what you need and leave the rest"
-from 12 step meeting
It's good to have a sensitive soul like you op on the forum. I'm sad to hear that you are leaving.
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amother
Papaya
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 8:33 pm
| relish wrote: | "Take what you need and leave the rest"
-from 12 step meeting
It's good to have a sensitive soul like you op on the forum. I'm sad to hear that you are leaving. |
Gosh, Relish, what a nice thing to say...  
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amother
Papaya
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 8:37 pm
| thunderstorm wrote: | | Take any group of women this large , even IRL and you will witness the same behavior. You are lucky you haven't been exposed to that IRL. |
Hi Thunder, actually, I've seen tons of it in IRL as well. Ad mosai! We need Moshiach!
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amother
White
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 8:43 pm
| amother wrote: |
I know I am not alone in my experience here, and maybe all the senseless, catty, unnecessary bashing and rude little jabs and comments should just be taken with a grain of salt, realizing that they come solely from unhappy, dysfunctional people looking for a fight, for whatever reason. This forum is the ultimate platform for the passive-aggressively-disposed. You have to prove how much halacha you know just to get approved, and for what? To ask a question, to seek support, only to find some nasty little trolls with their dirty teeth sunk into your heels? I, for one, am done here. I am sure that HaShm does not approve of the loshon hara and sinas chinam that sprouts up everywhere you look here. |
Is it actually bashing, or is it a mix of different styles of communication and/or different cultures? Some people are more blunt and direct, some are more soft spoken and some need very gentle handling. Online communications loses the inflections and the tones of the conversation, so you don't really know if the person is saying something out of cattiness or of concern. You can't even read the person's face, so how do you know if that anonymous person located somewhere in this big wide world, isn't truly trying to help out?
I know some people who are very direct, but say things with the utmost respect and concern in their eyes. You would never get the vibe that they're trying to attack you, you can just see it in their mannerism and in their approach. I also know some people who say the most pleasant things but with voices dripping with sarcasm and mocking tones. All that is lost in blogs and in texts. If you're talking to a worldwide audience, then one needs to have a thicker skin and try to see if the text can be perhaps be read differently. If you're putting yourself out there, just understand that you will have all kinds of people with different approaches and different communication styles responding to you.
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thunderstorm
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 8:43 pm
| amother wrote: | | Hi Thunder, actually, I've seen tons of it in IRL as well. Ad mosai! We need Moshiach! |
Ok. I thought you assumed it's exclusive to here. I agree , it's a terrible thing. And I've been guilty of it too occassionally not meaning to be mean. Sometimes it comes across that way.
But yes, you have a point. We should all strive to be better and to treat our fellow sisters with more sensitivity.
We are a bunch of personalities with clashing hormones so it's a lot easier said than done.
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icebreaker
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 9:28 pm
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Get a whole bunch of frum women together from various spectrums of Orthodoxy, add the anonymous button, add the fact that we can really say and be whatever we want on the internet (well, I mean you could get banned from here or something) and you’ve got your answer. But honestly, this is everywhere on the internet, not just here.
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oliveoil
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 9:30 pm
| amother wrote: |
I know I am not alone in my experience here, and maybe all the senseless, catty, unnecessary bashing and rude little jabs and comments should just be taken with a grain of salt, realizing that they come solely from unhappy, dysfunctional people looking for a fight, for whatever reason. This forum is the ultimate platform for the passive-aggressively-disposed. You have to prove how much halacha you know just to get approved, and for what? To ask a question, to seek support, only to find some nasty little trolls with their dirty teeth sunk into your heels? I, for one, am done here. I am sure that HaShm does not approve of the loshon hara and sinas chinam that sprouts up everywhere you look here. |
You don't sound overly pleasant yourself.
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southernbubby
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 9:32 pm
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Most I really really like but a few others, not so much.
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SuperWify
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 10:22 pm
| amother wrote: |
I know I am not alone in my experience here, and maybe all the senseless, catty, unnecessary bashing and rude little jabs and comments should just be taken with a grain of salt, realizing that they come solely from unhappy, dysfunctional people looking for a fight, for whatever reason. This forum is the ultimate platform for the passive-aggressively-disposed. You have to prove how much halacha you know just to get approved, and for what? To ask a question, to seek support, only to find some nasty little trolls with their dirty teeth sunk into your heels? I, for one, am done here. I am sure that HaShm does not approve of the loshon hara and sinas chinam that sprouts up everywhere you look here. |
I agree that many people are not very nice but calling everyone “unhappy dysfunctional people” isn’t too nice either.
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amother
Ecru
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 10:48 pm
I agree 100% with the op. I will be leaving as well. I came on here to get support as I'm going through a very difficult time and all I got was bashed. I'm not usually the sensitive type but some ladies here really hurt and insulted me. There's just so much negativity.
People are so openly going against halacha and don't believe in Hashem. It's very sad to see!
I do not want to be part of this anymore (when you are part of a group you get punished with them-for their sins)
It shocks me how adults can act like such immature babies.
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naturalmom5
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 10:51 pm
Funny you should say that, OP
I find the main players here to be a WHOLE LOT NICER then the women I deal with IRL
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iyar
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 10:54 pm
| amother wrote: |
I know I am not alone in my experience here, and maybe all the senseless, catty, unnecessary bashing and rude little jabs and comments should just be taken with a grain of salt, realizing that they come solely from unhappy, dysfunctional people looking for a fight, for whatever reason. This forum is the ultimate platform for the passive-aggressively-disposed. You have to prove how much halacha you know just to get approved, and for what? To ask a question, to seek support, only to find some nasty little trolls with their dirty teeth sunk into your heels? I, for one, am done here. I am sure that HaShm does not approve of the loshon hara and sinas chinam that sprouts up everywhere you look here. |
I, for one, have come across some really nice people here on imamother. I’ve found it interesting to get a different perspective on all sorts of things from people who are sometimes very different than I am, and sometimes not so different in background but different in their opinions or hashkafa. For the most part I find people here civilized, polite and caring.
I’m sorry you’re leaving OP. But I have to say- the tone of your post is nastier than most I’ve seen around here. Which is a little surprising considering what you seem to be saying.
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mirror
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 10:56 pm
It's not how much Halacha you know that matters but how many likes you give each day. 
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amother
Salmon
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 11:20 pm
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Op, you got a like from me.
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amother
Lilac
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 11:26 pm
Anonymously posting allows for this rudeness. But this site does have great information and advice. So I'll be staying. 
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flowerpower
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Mon, Jun 18 2018, 11:52 pm
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I like what Relish said. It’s a work in progress though.
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amother
Beige
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Tue, Jun 19 2018, 12:33 am
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Maskim. I got abused because I wrote like any other frum person that is conservative would write and got beaten for it.
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saw50st8
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Tue, Jun 19 2018, 6:47 am
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I think people tend to be very sensitive. It's OK to disagree and it's OK for people to call you out if you are wrong or misinformed. Some people practice tougher love than others.
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